Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed or Billie and any of the other Charmed characters all right of these characters belong to the producers of Charmed.

Synopsis & Author Note: This story is am writing as a healing project for myself to help me though some issues in my life and hopefully stop me from doing something I don't want to do.

I would like to hear what you think of the story as it progresses further and please leave reviews if you like my writing but do be aware that some things I write about I am still sensitive about and I would appreciate it if you would treat the issues I bring up in this story with respect.

Please also note that for this story i have changes Billie's ago to 17.

Thank you and please enjoy.

Chapter One The beginning

Its dark damp night as the rain beats rhythms onto the uncovered windows of Billie's dorm room. The young blonde is lying asleep in her bed; however she is far from a peaceful sleep. She begins to toss and turn from side to side as she replays that horrible memory from only one short night ago.

A fireball flies towards her, without thinking Billie flicks her hands out defensively sending the fireball telekinetically flying back towards her attacker. Her sister. The fireball smacks into Christy and begins to burn her alive almost in slow motion as Billie sees her sisters face catching on fire a smile beaming across her face as she laughs evilly. Still burning Christy begins to walk towards Billie getting her hands ready on her temples.

Suddenly Billie's eyes shot open as she jumps upright in her bed, sweating and crying as she realises that it was a dream, just her imagination trying to trick and scare her. Well part of it was. The other part was real. The part of her sending that fireball back to her sister was real. It killed her. She killed her own sister.

Billie's mind began to race with a thousand thoughts as she sat upright in her bed shaking. How could I do that? She was my sister? I killed me sister. I'm an evil person...I should have died not her!

Billie began to cry harder and harder running her hands through her hair trying to get a grip on herself, but then she looked up and saw it.

Its shinny surface reflecting light onto her face from the window captivating her. As though in a trance like daze she got out of her bed and slowly made her way over to it. She reached her computer desk where it lay next to a potion vial and picked it up.

She ran the smooth cold metal in-between her fingers as she slowly sat herself down on the computer chair next to her. As she sat in the chair she kept on thinking to herself, I'm evil…it should have been me….I'm evil.

She stared at the metal object she had help in her hands – her athema – the weapon she had used to many times to destroy evil with. I have to cut it out…cut it all out, she thought to herself whiling staring at her reflection in the athema.

"I have to cut it out….cut out the evil" she began to mumble to herself convincing herself of what she must do.

Then without thinking anymore on the subject she cut a clear, slow moving, white line across her arm watching until that line disappeared and was replaced by trickling blood dripping down her arm. Her blood.