A/N: This came from nowhere. Supposed to be Remus' POV and at the end he's thinking about Sirius.

Warning: Self harm. Don't read if it squicks you.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Have you ever?

Have you ever had that feeling of absolute desperation?

Have you ever teetered in the moment where you think this isn't worth it?

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep, knowing that tomorrow will be just as bad and wanting to just let go?

Have you ever hated yourself and those around you so much you just want to scream?

Have you ever locked yourself in the bathroom and drawn red patterns in your skin, trying to replace an inner pain with a physical one?

Have you ever been too scared to go into the kitchen, afraid that you'll cave and dive for the knives?

Have you ever hated the cuts so much and been so scared of people knowing the truth that you bruise instead because nobody notices bruises?

Have you ever lied to your friend, told them stories so they don't see the truth behind the scars?

Have you ever realised that there's no worthwhile reason behind the cuts and that you're just in it for the pain now?

I have. And I hate myself for it. And that's why I can't be yours, because I'm not good enough for you and I never will be.

OOOOOO

A/N: Wow. Major angst fest. Opinions?