"Everybody wants an easy ride
On the merry-go-round that we call life
Take your drive on cruise control
Then you wait to find out that it's a winding road"
--"That's the Way", performed by JoDee Messina
Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar
Elizabeth Webber couldn't sleep. Beside her, Lucky's breathing was deep and even, indicating that he had long since passed from the world of wakefulness. They had managed to work past their disagreement over Jason a few days earlier. In truth, however, nothing had been resolved. Elizabeth had told Lucky what he wanted to hear: she loved him, and she never wanted to hurt him, and she was sorry. Lucky had even admitted that he shouldn't have demanded she leave Jake's with him. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms, both of them desperately
wanting to believe that everything was going to be just fine.
Deep down, though, Elizabeth knew that things were far from all right. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the way Jason had looked the last time they spoke.
She had told him that for the sake of her relationship with Lucky, he needed to stay away. Jason, in a rare display of honest emotion, hadn't taken the pronouncement without protest. He had asked her some questions, tough questions, that had answers she wasn't yet ready to deal with. But finally, he had accepted her decision, and given her one final ride home. They had been saying good-bye when Emily came out of Kelly's. Another moment, and Elizabeth wasn't sure she would have been able to go through with it. As it was, she had merely said good-bye and retreated to Lucky's room.
But his eyes...something had shadowed their blue depths, just for a moment, and Elizabeth had recognized it as pain.
She had seen him hurt before, when he recovered from a gunshot wound in her studio, and when he spoke of Sonny and Carly's betrayal. What Elizabeth wasn't used to, though, was being the one to cause him pain.
She rolled over in bed, trying to find a more comfortable spot, and Lucky stirred slightly.
Lucky. He had been so hurt by what she had done. It seemed like all she did lately was hurt people. She had lied to him, was still lying to him. But while she understood his anger over her lies, what she couldn't figure out was why he refused to accept that her relationship with Jason was nothing more than friendship. All Jason had ever done was try to help her. He allowed her to mourn Lucky's "death" in her own way, had listened to her and advised her without complaint or judgment. There had never been any romance there.
So why, as she lay there with Lucky's arm draped over her, could she not forget the feel of Jason's arms as they leaned over the pool table? As the last remnants of Lucky's cologne lingered in the air, why could she still smell leather and soap and shampoo, the distinct scent of Jason that enveloped her whenever they went for a ride on his motorcycle? Why did she want to do everything in her power to make the pain in his eyes go away?
Uncomfortable with her train of thought, Elizabeth slipped from the bed. Hastily, she scribbled Lucky a note.
"Couldn't sleep, so I went to the studio to paint. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you. Love, Liz"
* * *
A few miles away, in his rented room above Jake's, Jason Morgan was suffering from a similar bout with insomnia. Ever since he had given his word to Elizabeth that he would stay away from her, she had been all he could think about.
This wasn't the way it was supposed to work. He was Jason Morgan. He was...stoic. At one time or another, he had walked away from everything that mattered to him. He was a loner. So why were his dreams being haunted by Lucky Spencer's girlfriend?
He had known, in his heart, that she hadn't wanted to walk away from him that last night. Their friendship meant something to her, of that much he was certain. But it didn't mean so much that she would risk jeopardizing her future with Lucky.
It shouldn't mean that much. He knew that. Lucky was the love of her life. More than one person, including Elizabeth herself, had told him that. He, Jason, was nothing more than a friend. A friend that caused trouble, at that. He had almost gotten her killed once. By going to her studio this last time, he had put her in jeopardy once again. If Sorel had somehow gotten word that he was back in town, and that Elizabeth was harboring him...he didn't even like to think about what could have happened.
So why had he been willing to take that risk? Sure, the window in her studio had a good view of the warehouse, but there were other windows in other rooms. Yes, he knew he could trust Elizabeth, but she wasn't the only one. No, if he told the complete truth, he had turned to Elizabeth because he wanted to see her.
And now he had lost her to Lucky completely. He no longer even had her friendship as consolation. If he had come back into town like a normal person, instead of asking her to lie to everyone, including the man she loved, maybe he wouldn't have lost her. Maybe Lucky wouldn't have freaked out, and he would have been able to have a conversation with her at Kelly's, or watch her paint, or take her for a ride on his bike.
But it was too late now. She was out of his life. Maybe it was time to leave Port Charles for good--no matter what Emily wanted.
Grabbing his jacket, he left the room and headed for the docks.
* * *
So far, Elizabeth hadn't gotten any painting done. She sat in the window of the studio, looking at her painting of the wind in the moonlight. The room around her was dark, which matched her mood.
This is stupid, she thought. I came here to paint, not to think about Jason. If I don't get something done, it will just be another lie that I've told Lucky.
Resolutely, she set the painting down, strode across the room, and flipped the light switch.
* * *
Down on the docks, Jason was staring up at her darkened window. He knew he shouldn't be there. It wasn't healthy, and with his luck Taggert would show up and have him arrested for loitering.
Just as he turned to leave, he was startled to see the light go on in the studio. It was nearly two o'clock on a Tuesday morning. Elizabeth wouldn't be there unless something was wrong. Forgetting his resolve to stay away from her, Jason headed for the studio.
* * *
Sighing, Elizabeth flipped through her sketchbook. She had no idea what to paint. Turning the next page, her eyes fell on the drawing of Jason playing pool that awful day at Jake's.
You're not supposed to be thinking about Jason, she reminded herself. Still, the sketch was good, capturing the grace of Jason's movements. She could do the painting for her art class, and then give the finished product to Emily. Besides, it wasn't as though she had time to do any other "object-in-motion" drawings after the fiasco with Lucky.
Pulling a smock on over her clothes, she was startled by the knock on her door. Brow furrowing, she paused a moment before heading to open it.
* * *
Outside the door, Jason was waging a small war with himself. Walk away; just walk away. She hasn't answered the door yet. She's probably in there with Lucky. Don't cause more trouble for her.
He couldn't tear himself away, though. Just make sure that she's okay. Then you can leave.
He heard the click of the lock, and slowly the door opened. There she was, in a paint-spattered smock, her eyes wide with surprise.
"Can I come in?"
Wordlessly, she opened the door wider, and he stepped inside.
* * *
Shutting the door behind him, she was still stunned that he was there. Before she had the chance to, he spoke.
"Look, I know I shouldn't be here, and I won't stay long. I was out for a walk, and I saw your light go on, and I wanted to make sure you were okay."
She glanced at her watch and smiled. "You were out walking at two in the morning?"
He shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. Why are you here?"
"I couldn't sleep, either. Great minds, huh?"
"Yeah. So is everything okay?"
Her eyes clouded. "I guess. Lucky has been trying really hard to make me happy."
"So are you? Happy, I mean."
"I love him, Jason. I really do, and I know he loves me too. Most of the time, I am happy. After all, isn't this what I always wanted? But other times, like tonight, I'm miserable. I feel terrible because I'm still lying to
Lucky about what really happened. Even though he expects me to be honest with him, I can't tell him the truth. He's totally irrational when it comes to you. I know I'd lose him if he found out you stayed here. But on the other hand, I'll lose him if I keep lying, because eventually he will find out. I don't want to hurt him, Jason."
"I know you don't. I should go. Just pretend I was never here. I don't want to cause any more problems for you."
He had already started to turn the knob when he heard her voice behind him. "Please don't go, Jason."
His hand stilled, and slowly he turned to face her. "Elizabeth..."
She stepped closer, and his heart started to pound. This was getting far too dangerous.
"That's the other reason I couldn't sleep, Jason. I miss you. I don't want to lose you."
The words came out of his mouth before his brain had a chance to stop them. "I miss you, too." Realizing what he had said, he began fumbling for the doorknob. It was as though his cool, calm, collected Jason Morgan exterior had crumbled at his feet. "You love Lucky, Elizabeth. You've told me that a hundred times. I'm just a friend that causes trouble. You don't need me in your life. Tell him the truth. Make him understand that I'm not important. It's the only way you'll be happy."
And then he was gone.
Tears filled Elizabeth's eyes, and she stumbled over to the couch. What had just happened here?
* * *
In the hallway, Jason leaned up against the wall, alternately hoping that Elizabeth would follow him and praying that she wouldn't. What had he just done?
"I had my dreams in view
When the money ran out and the engine blew
Hung my tears out to dry
Then my dreams fell out of that clear blue sky"
--"That's the Way", performed by JoDee Messina
Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar