Severus' Special Gift, a harry potter fanfic

Severus'Special Gift

By Ostensibly Lucidina (And her Little Onee-chan)

One day, while in the magical store of 'Gifts for the Gift-Deficient Giver', Harry Potter was looking for a gift. He had no idea why he was drawn to the place, and was at first kind of bored. That's when he saw it. It looked like any other parrot, really, colorful, almost blindingly so, which, in a flash of randomness, reminded him of Dumbledore's robes. It was a bright neon pink with bright crimson and orange streaks, and a bright yellow beak. But Harry was more interested in the label, which read:

"This magical parrot can learn only one song in its lifetime. It learns it after only hearing it once. But this one song is sung over and over again, which is perfect for gag gifts. If you're looking for a good laugh, buy this bird, teach it its song, then give it to a friend."

Harry grinned at the tag, and at the little price, which was only 5 Galleons. He bought the Magic parrot, brought with him to his dorm room, and sung the following song to it:

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes, boom boom boom..."

Harry then, giggling madly, let the bird loose in Snape's classroom, before running off down the hall.

Severus Snape skulked down the halls of his dungeons. He walked into his classroom, which was, thankfully, empty, and sat down at his desk with a sigh. That's when he heard the flutter of wings, and the worst song he had ever had the displeasure to assault his ears.

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, -SQUAWK!- everybody's nerves, -SQUAWK!- everybody's nerves, -SQUAWK!- I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes, boom -SQUAWK!- boom boom... "

Snape twitched, and glared at the stupid bird for intruding on his well-loved silence. Then retreated to his office, only to have the blasted thing follow him! "Bloody bird aught to be slaughtered." He muttered under his breath, twitching even more as the bloody thing repeated it's song. Merlin damn whoever had sent it to him to the lowest pits of Hades! Then, he got an idea, one that was surely a stroke of pure brilliance. He smirked cruelly. Time for a little payback...

Albus Dumbledore had just gotten back from Honeydukes, having received a large back of his favorite sweet, Lemon Drops. He walked into his office and sat down in his squashy, overstuffed throne of a chair, popping a sweet into his mouth, and humming in satisfaction. That's when he heard a dreadful racket that instantly killed his sugar-high.

He glared mildly at the bird, before smiling, already knowing the solution to his dilemma. He would give it to Minerva!

Minerva was not a happy woman. She had had that pesky bird in her office for three days now, and it would NOT SHUT UP!

She twitched as it happily squawked on. That's when she had the idea. She'd give it to Severus. Surely HE would LOVE such a gift. Grinning wickedly, wondering how such Marauder-like mischief was rubbing off on her, She snuck the bird into Severus' office before all but sprinting back to her quarters so as not to get caught.

Severus Snape froze when he saw that hideous bird in his office once again. It began to Squawk its song:

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, -SQUAWK!- everybody's nerves, -SQUAWK!- everybody's-"

"Avada Kedavra!" A flash of green, and Severus sighed with satisfaction as the bird fell silently. He vanished the carcass, and sat down. "At last, some piece and quiet!"

The End