As afternoon faded into evening, Alfred eventually stopped bringing hot tea in favor of a rich burgundy. He knew exactly the flavors that Emily preferred, from a slightly sweetened chamomile to her favorite label from Nikolas' Grecian vineyard. Everything about the conversation was complicated and uncomfortable, but the four adults managed to navigate their way for the greater good. Lucky was probably the quietest, only speaking when he was spoken to. Nadine listened intently to the crazy and fairly unbelievable tale of Emily's kidnapping, finding herself in disbelief. Nikolas tried not to stare at his ex-wife and former fiancée, but it was still so strange to see her sitting in his sitting room. Emily was pretty much the center of attention just as she had been since coming home, having all eyes on her as she told and retold her story.
Finally, after they had run out of awkward conversation, Alfred announced that their dinner was ready and gave them a much-needed reprieve. Nadine excused herself politely and went upstairs to retrieve Spencer from the playroom upstairs. When she came back downstairs, the little boy ran excitedly for the table. He loved to eat pretty much anything Alfred made for him. The elderly butler had a noticeably soft side for the toddler and was always finding a way to sneak his favorites onto the menu. Nikolas sat down at his customary seat at the head of the table and gestured for the rest of his guests to be seated.
Without even thinking about it, Emily headed automatically for her usual chair to the right of Spencer. Just as she was about to reach the table, Nadine slipped into the chair and set to work helping the little boy cut his grilled chicken. Lucky noticed her slight falter and reached immediately for her hand to guide her to an empty chair across from Spencer. His quiet, gentle way of supporting her had saved her again. He only offered a slight smile as he took the seat next to her, reaching beneath the table to gently pat her knee in reassurance.
"Nadine, will you help me make a mashed potato volcano?" Spencer asked innocently as he held up a large silver serving spoon. The blonde nurse smiled lovingly at Nikolas over the boy's head before setting to the task of dishing out the fluffy white potatoes. "Emily, have you ever had one of these? Nadine makes the best ones. Daddy is always telling us not to play with our food, but we don't listen, do we? She says that we have to enjoy our food. That's more fun!"
"No, we sure don't listen to your stuffy daddy," Nadine giggled as she poured a heap of corn on top of the potato mountain. Spencer watched in amazement as she covered it with a helping of gravy. "Here you go, buddy. If you eat everything, we can go out and take our walk while Daddy talks to Uncle Lucky."
The little boy smiled widely as he dug into his dinner, instantly forgetting about the four adults in the room. Nikolas attempted to make polite conversation, Lucky tried to make a few awkward jokes, Nadine offered a few stories about the hospital and Emily just tried to keep her food down. The only person that seemed unaffected was Spencer, and Emily was happy that he didn't really know what was going on. The little boy had been a big part of her life since he was born, and now that he growing into quite the little man, she felt incredibly lucky to have been apart of him. Like she had thought earlier, it was hard to see someone else taking her place. She had thought that it would be harder to see her with Nikolas, but it was really the motherly role she had taken with Spencer that hurt. It reminded Emily of the empty void in her heart, the part of her that wanted to be a mother even more than she wanted to be a doctor. That part of her had almost died thanks to Helena, but now that she was sitting here in Port Charles, it was alive and present.
After dessert had been served, Spencer was instantly out of his seat and ready to get outside. Emily watched him fidget while Nadine tucked his little feet into the designer sneakers. She couldn't stomach the gourmet tiramisu she usually coveted. Her stomach was a bundle of nerves. "Alright, I think we are going to head out," Nadine announced as Spencer latched onto her hand. Looking across the table at the brunette, she considered what her next step should be. "Would you like to join us? We usually just walk down to the stables or over to the gardens until the little guy is worn out."
Looking to Lucky, she almost wanted him to tell her to stay so that they could cut out early and go head. She wanted to go curl up in bed in his arms and forget that anyone else but them existed. Things were so simple when it was just him and her. It was only when they had to add other people to the mix before it would get hard. Reality was a complication she just didn't need. "Sure, I guess that would be okay," she agreed. She slipped from her chair and pressed a kiss to Lucky's forehead before following Nadine out of the dining room.
It was strange to be following her. Everything was strange. It was actually Emily who had started the ritual of nightly strolls with Spencer just after Nikolas brought him home. She could still remember those first few weeks when he had brought the infant home. He had been so lost, not knowing what to do with a baby that now relied completely on him. Still, she had seen the love and adoration from the very first minute the three of them were together. Spending those precious years as a mother to Spencer had been amazing. It was probably the most incredible gift anyone had ever given her, even more the love that she had shared with Nikolas.
The threesome headed across the moonlight path after deciding to head down to feed the new ducks Nikolas had bought for the reflecting pond. Just as they headed through the lattice archway, they had to stop so that Nadine could tie Spencer's shoe. Emily took the opportunity to look back at Wyndamere. She could make out the dark outline of two men posed on the balcony watching out over them. Nikolas looked so serious as he gazed forlornly in the distance. Lucky, on the other hand, looked genuinely happy as he grinned down at them. Emily felt as beautiful as always under his watchful gaze. That was her love.
Once Spencer was satisfied with his laces, the three headed off into the night. The moonlight was pale but bright enough to illuminate them along the way. Spencer walked between them, holding onto Nadine and Emily's hands so that he could swing between them. He was so happy-go-lucky, and both women admired his innocence. When they finally reached the clearing, he jetted ahead and ran over to the pond. Nadine hurried on ahead to give him the stale bread that Alfred had sent along for him to use. The little boy quickly set to work tearing the crusts into tiny little pieces to feed his new pets, Lulu and Alfie. He had named them after his aunt and butler because they were his two favorite people.
Emily watched him for a moment before padding across the dewy grass for a bench. She had bought the bench and put it together herself during her first marriage to Nikolas. After losing her grandmother, Emily had spent many hours keeping up the roses in her garden. When she moved to Wyndamere, Nikolas made sure that she had a similar set-up so that she could feel at home. This bench had been the first thing she added. Running her hand over the cool metal, it was the first time she felt like she belonged here. This had been her place. In a small way, it would always be her place. It didn't matter who had come along, no one could replace her.
Hesitantly, Nadine finally left Spencer's side to come over to Emily. Both women were silent as they watched the young child toss bits of bread into the water. He was happy as the birds splashed and swam in circles, playfully fighting over the food. "This is so hard," Nadine said finally. The woman was glad that the night was so dark that they couldn't see each other. "And then, at the same time, it's not."
Nodding her head slightly, Emily turned slightly to the nurse without taking her eyes off Spencer. "I keep thinking the same thing. I keep thinking about how this should be," she tried to explain. "The thing is that there isn't really any right answer. I'm stuck somewhere between my old life and my new lie. It's hard to come back to a world that has moved on without you. You feel obsolete. And then there are times when everyone wants to know everything about you, and you feel like you can't escape the spotlight. It's too much like when I first came here after my mom died or when I had cancer. I like the times in between a lot more than this."
"Nikolas has told me so much about what a strong woman you are. I can see now how right he was," she complimented Emily. "For such a long time, I never thought that I could live up to your memory. Like you said, I kept thinking about how everything should be. And then one day, I looked up and realized that it didn't matter because I had fallen completely in love with Nikolas anyhow. It didn't really matter what my head thought because my heart had already decided for me. I would do anything to keep that in my life."
Emily knew what the other woman was getting at. She would be the same way if it was her in Nadine's position. "I'm not going to put up a fight, Nadine," she reassured her. "There was a time when I thought that nothing would come between Nikolas and I, but something finally did. We can't escape the time and distance Helena put between us. I know that he loved me, and in a way, he always will love me. I do love him. We will always care deeply about each other."
Looking down at her hands, Nadine searched for the right words to express the thoughts racing through her mind. "I wish I could say that I was noble enough to step aside for you, but I can't. Nikolas loves me, and I love him. I am crazy about that little boy over there. We've become a family. I hate what happened to you. I wish that it hadn't, but we can't go back."
"No, we can't," the brunette agreed. "I've thought about this, talked about this, a lot. I'm not sure that I would want to now given the chance. There was a reason this happened to me, to all of us. I am being honest when I tell you that I will always love Nikolas, but I don't want to be with him. Loving someone and being in love with someone are two very different things. I am in love with Lucky Spencer."
Nikolas' dead fiancée was in love with his brother. His brother had once been married to the aforementioned woman's best friend. It was a tangled web, and Nadine couldn't help but feel a little left on the outside. Still, she felt relieved to know that she wouldn't have to fight for Nikolas. She would have given it everything she had. She had just gotten the life and family that she wanted. She wouldn't let anyone, not even a formerly dead soulmate, take it away from her. "Well, that is good to hear."
"But I want to let you know that I fully intend on keeping both of those men in my life. I have loved Nikolas in one way or another for fifteen years. He is apart of my future just as much as he was apart of my past. The four of us – Elizabeth, Nikolas, Lucky and me – we had the friendship of a lifetime. I won't let that go without a fight," she avowed. "That little boy over there means just as much to me. I will be in his life. Nikolas made me his godmother, and it is a role that I fully intend to live up to. I've already lost a godchild. I will not lose another."
It was a statement of fact, and Nadine knew that there was no room for argument. Even if she felt there was, she wouldn't have said anything because Emily's request was fair. She couldn't stop asking her to care anymore than she expected Nikolas and Spencer to suddenly stop loving the other woman. She didn't want them to; there was plenty of room for both women in their lives. It would be strange, it would be hard but it could be good. They could actually be a family. Maybe they would never been conventional but it would be theirs. In the end, that was really all that mattered.
Lucky and Nikolas were thrilled a half-hour later when the two women came back to the house with a sleeping Spencer cradled in Emily's arms. A smiling Cassadine prince took the toddler from her and held his son tightly to his chest. Whispered goodbyes were exchanged with promises of another meal soon. Nadine walked them to the door, and before too long, Lucky was happily alone with Emily once again.
"Well, that was weird," he declared when they finally reached the cottage. Throwing his keys on the desk, he checked the answering machine before kicking off his shoes and collapsing on the couch. Emily followed suit, peeling off her heels and crawling onto the sofa into his arms. "I kept trying to find another adjective, but it was just weird."
"Not bad exactly, just weird," she nodded as Lucky started to trace a lazy pattern up her forearm. Emily shifted in his arms so that she could look up at him. "You were right, I really like her. A part of me really didn't want to, if I'm honest. I guess I hated the thought that anyone could replace me. I've felt like that everywhere. I didn't want there to be a better intern at GH, a better friend to Elizabeth, a better mother to Spencer. Tonight, I realized that it's a good thing that someone came along to fill that role. He needs that in his life. There is still room for me. I wasn't destined to live out that dream. My fates lie elsewhere."
"Oh?"
She just grinned before brushing a soft kiss over his mouth. "We're going to be happy, Spencer. I can just feel it."
"I already am," he confessed before returning her kiss. "It's just starting, but we already have a good life. A lousy detective could do much worse than a beautiful medical wonder, Dr. Quartermaine."
Emily tapped her temple while she pretended to think. "I think I will like the sound of Dr. Spencer even more."
"Moving a little fast there, Em?"
She turned over onto his body and stared seriously into his eyes. "I hardly think fifteen years of build up is moving fast, Lucky," she pointed out. "Besides, don't even pretend that it hasn't crossed your mind."
"I won't. I have thought about it a lot, before you came back and since."
"I'm not saying that it has to happen now, but I know that it will be soon. You've always had a thing for instant gratification."
A slight blush spread over his cheeks as Emily pecked a quick kiss on the tip of his nose. "Well, if I remember how you pounced on me in the limo, waiting isn't exactly your thing either."
"So, why don't you take me upstairs and use that to your benefit?"
"You know what, I think I will," he laughed as he scooped her into his arms. They fell into a deep kiss immediately as she wrapped her legs around his waist while he managed to carry her up the stairs. Her fingers tangled in his hair, his hands resting on the underneath of her thighs, her breath short and ragged, his words rough and moaned. When he hovered over her body on the bed, he stopped to look down at her. "Other than loving me, what did you mean about your fate earlier?"
Emily smiled as she interlocked their fingers together. "I meant you, Spencer, I've always meant you," she said. "Fortunately for us, no one has ever come along to be a better best friend."
Fin.