"Hey, Red, looks like we've got a fax!"

A shiny metallic device plopped a rather beat up package into the hands of Purple. Purple brushed the dust off of it, and after a round of wheezing and coughing, read the return address.

Invader ZIMMM!!!!

Planet Earth

INDEED!

"Um, what IS that nonsense?"

"Fax from our old pal…Zim."

"Ah, throw it in the flames."

"NO!" Red and Purple jumped, as the package had emitted the command. They glanced at each other, and slid off the packaging. Inside was a transmission screen, on which Zim was waving excitedly.

"Greetings, my Tallest! I have composed a song to report the goings-on of my missIONNNN!!!!"

"Ugh. Let's hear it then." Red and Purple took their seats and prepared for the horrors similar to those of a hyena attacking a rabid kitten. In other words, as Zim was clearing his throat, they put in their earplugs. Zim began.

Hey Red and Purple

Hey Red and Purple
What's it like back home on Irk?
I'm a trillion miles away
With responsibilities to shirk
But I do not!
I report back, as I was taught,
Ooh, a jelly tot!

Hey Red and Purple
Don't you worry about the distance
I'll report on Earth either way
Give this message here a listen
Close your eyes
Picture large destruction and demise
It's Earth in my eyes!

Ohhh, its what I've done for you
Oh, its what I've done for you

Ohhh, its what I've done for you
Oh, its what I've done for you
What I've done for you

Hey Red and Purple
Times down here are gettin' hard
But just believe me now,
Some day soon I'll get GIR to travel far
For more research
They'll have their lives of hell and smirch
They all shall lurch!

Hey Red and Purple
Haven't got much left to say
I need to tap into my sources, see
I'll take your breath away
With all my facts
Will you promote me, with your tact?
Send me a fax!

Ohhh, it's what I've done for you
Oh, it's what I've done for you
Ohhh, it's what I've done for you
Oh, it's what I've done for you

A trillion miles is not that far
And all Earth has are trains and cars
They'd walk into our hands in one more day.
Our friends would all bow down to us
And we'll just laugh at them because
We can when planet Earth moves out the way
Red and Purple, I tell you
That by the time that we get through
The Irken Empire will rise above all
And I'll be tall!

Hey Red and Purple
Don't worry, and please don't miss me
2 more days and you can pick me up
And I'll make Irken history like I do
All I need are armada troops
They will do just what I want them to
Hey Red and Purple here's to you,
And of course me too!

Ohhh, it's what I've done for you
Oh, its what I've done for you

Ohhh, it's what I've done for you
Oh, its what I've done for you
What I've done for you.

"That is all." The transmission screen flickered out of sight. Red and Purple were calmly asleep in their chairs, luckily spared the horror of Zim's atrocious singing voice.