Chapter 14: X-Mobians: First Viewing

The sun had already sunk low beneath the sky line of Station square and the street lamps and billboard ads were bathing the sidewalks in their neon lights as a troupe not less colourful than the illuminations was just emerging from the double doors of one of the more popular blockbuster cinemas, the six Mobians and one robot in question in obvious high spirits, still discussing and chattering animatedly about the latest movie they had just seen.

"Heh, wow, what a show!" One of the younger ones, a young fox with his cheek fur full of popcorn crumbs, was grinning from ear to ear. "I liked Professor X, but my favourite is still Beast. It would be fun working on a jet plane with him."

"Yeah, I liked him, too. The poor guy, only trying to get the girl," the other smaller Mobian walking next to him sighed, a pretty hedgehog female in a red dress. A scoff from behind her cut her off.

"Figures. I reckon you'd probably like anyone if they were blue and fluffy," a dark voice commented, the black and red-striped hedgehog it belonged to looking aloof and disinterested, as if he was trying to state to the whole world that he had been dragged into this movie against his will and had only gone because the white-furred bat girl next to him had made him. Predictably, a red hammer appeared almost instantly in Amy's hands, the pink Mobian now furious.

"That is so not true!"

"Relax, Ames, Shads is only teasing. 'sides, I liked the furry guy, too." A gloved hand laid itself calmingly on the raised peach-furred arm with the red hammer and the blue hedgehog it belonged to tried to smile at the fuming younger female. "Now let's put that hammer down and not have a repeat of the scene last week when Shadow said that this Johnny Depp character looked better with Mascara than you, right?"

"Really? You liked Beast as well?" Tails gave his older brother a bright grin, ignoring what seemed to be a more than familiar routine between the three hedgehogs, just happy that for once their favourite character seemed to be the same one. "Cool, and I thought you'd go for one of them with flashier abilities, not the...you know, the geeky one," the little fox managed, actually more looking at his feet than at the older hedgehog he was addressing, a small, almost embarrassed grin on his face. The hero of Mobius reached down and ruffled the head fur of his kid brother.

"Hey, 'course I do. It's what's inside that counts – although I gotta admit that super-running ability he had helped a little and blue fur does look good on anyone..."

Tails and Rouge laughed, Amy (with a bit of a blush) as well, while Knuckles rolled his eyes and Shadow predictably only snorted, until Tails pointed out, "Hey, that's actually true, you share do share more than one trait with him – if we were the X-men, you'd totally be Beast!" he started excitedly, waving his near-empty coke-cup around in a way that suggested Sonic wouldn't give the kit any more sugar any time soon. The black hedgehog behind them coughed into his hand.

"The faker? Hardly, kit. Or need I point out that your personal hero is lacking in the brains department enough that an actual beast could outsmart him? Or, for that matter, a roomba?"

"Oy!" The blue hedgehog bristled at the insult, turning around to glare at his smug darker doppelgänger with crossed arms. "Calling me too dumb to be the Beast? A bit rich, coming from the guy whose only mutant superpower would probably be to turn into the Incredible Sulk, if you ask me..."

"Uh, actually, Bruce Baxter isn't a mutant, that was gamma radiation and-" Tails tried to point out in the patient voice of somebody who sometimes quietly wished his friends were as easy to handle as plastic-sealed comic books, but nobody was paying attention to him, anyway. The group had stopped walking as now Shadow, too, had raised his quills and narrowed his red eyes at Sonic's trademark cocky grin, apparently torn between either having to play this childish game now or admitting 'defeat' in the Battle of Snark that he had initiated himself. In the end, it might have been either the mischievous twinkle in the eyes of the other that made it almost impossible not to rise to any challenge the fastest thing alive posed, or it might have been the fact that yes, there had been one particular mutant Shadow had identified with almost a tad too much – even if he'd rather have choked on his own nachos to admit as much - but whatever it was, it did make the self-declared Ultimate Lifeform rise to the bait.

"Excuse me? I'm the dark anti-hero. I'd be Magneto, and if I were, that mutant equivalent of a hippie Xavier wouldn't have stood a chance of stopping me during three consecutive movies," he said, poking the now devilishly smirking blue hedgehog hard into his chest, "You, on the other hand, wouldn't be the Beast, but some mutant whose only super-power it was to talk too much, too fast, and all of it nonsense."

"I think you mean the Doctor, but that's the wrong sci-fi series," Tails again tried to point out, but wasn't being heard.

"You, Magneto?" Sonic shot back instead. "I can see where you're coming from when you look at the guy's god complex and zany colour scheme, but all that stopping-rockets-midflight-and-throwing-them-back stuff is more Silver's gig, I think..."

Shadow shook his head, ignoring the barb. "No. He's a telekinetic, and my character only influences metal. Silver the Hedgehog's would obviously be that Jean Grey woman."

Sonic cocked his head. "Really? You think? On the other hand, he does have a femmy quill style, come to think of it-"

Knuckles finally uttered his first words since they had come out of the theatre and grabbed the shoulders of both hedgehogs to push them along and get the group moving again.

"Right, that's enough of this. This argument is silly, there are no mutants here, and I want to get to Tails' place so he can fly me up to Angel Island again before the Emerald gets stolen by someone who wasn't forced to watch CGI madness in a movie theatre that the hedgehog bane of his life produces all the time anyway, so get moving."

"So says the Juggernaut. Ow!" Sonic commented as he was subjected to another ungentle punch by the echidna into his arm. Luckily, Rouge stepped to the red Mobian's side to distract him.

"Heyhey, Knuxie, I wouldn't be so fast to dismiss that discussion. I mean, if you look at it, you five could easily be classified as mutants by that movie's standards. In fact, I'm the only normal one in the group. Though if I had to choose," she added with a bat-fanged smile, letting flattened ears perk up again, "I'd say I'd be...Mystique. Suits my nature," she finished with a wink.

Knuckles gave her a flat stare. "Yeah, right. I think you'd be that freaky ginger bat guy, you squeal at glass-shattering pitch whenever you see the Master Emeral-dammit, no kicking!" the Guardian of Angel Island yelled, just evading the precarious attack of a pink-tipped boot. Rouge hissed, but in truth it only contributed to the general entertainment.

"Look, I'm not saying I even like these movies. This was the fifth one of these travesties Sonic made us go to and they're still too cheap to even have one Mobian actor on there," Knuckles said, trying to calm the bat girl as the mixed group was finally moving along the nightly sidewalk again. "Not that I particularly care but..."

"True, though," Amy said. "And seems to me they're not too inclusive of their own kind, either. Did you see? There was, like, one non-white mutant in the entire movie and he literally bit the dust not even an hour in. Jurassic Park from the nineties called, they want their Black Guy Dies First shtick back."

Sonic lifted a mock-lecturing finger. "Hey, don't accuse that movie of being racist. X-men is the only franchise that teaches kids that even blue and red people are a-okay!"

"Faker, one of the blue ones is a deceiving murderess, and the red guy is a psycho killer without a single line of dialogue. Who also looks like the devil incarnate."

Sonic looked at Shadow, his smile faltering just the tiniest bit. "Ah. Right. Well, okay, but I mean, the message-"

"Extends to 'Explosions Are AWESOME!', Sonic," Knuckles cut the fumbling hero off. "A thesis you unfortunately agree with," he added under his breath.

"If I was a mutant from any movie, I think I'd like to be Archangel," Tails said, not having heard the last part or deciding to ignore it to bring the topic back on track, "I could still fly, and he seems tough but is still a nice enough guy who saves people," the two-tail stated with the conviction of a nine-year old who obviously had put a lot of thought into that particular problem. Sonic laughed.

"Alright then, big guy, if we're picking sides, then...hm, I don't think there are quite any mutants in the movies just as cool as yours truly, but...maybe Wolverine. Main character immunity is hard to beat," he grinned.

"Plus you could do with the healing ability for your hare-brained stunts," Knuckles pointed out patiently, ignoring the exclamation of protest next to him. Tails was already bouncing next to him anyway.

"And you, Knuckles? Which mutant would you be?"

"The one that gets left alone by all the other ones? In peace?" The red echidna asked hopefully, wondering whether the walk from the train station to the cinema had taken that long the first time, too. Tails blinked.

"Uh, that would be Wolverine, too. But Sonic's already picked that one, so-"

"Why don't you be Professor X, Knuckles?" Amy suggested. "You'd get to stay in a quiet villa all day, after all."

The echidna snorted. "In a wheel chair. Not really my style. On the bright side, though, I could brain wash Sonic into jumping into the ocean, so there would be perks." This drew a chuckle from everyone this time, except the hero of Mobius who made a face as if he'd bitten in a lemon.

"Most of my friends' first thought of a use for their mutant power is how it could be useful in killing me. Lovely. You know, I think if I was Wolverine I could as well speed the whole thing up and deliver myself into the hands of Eggman playing the von Stryker guy."

"Aww, come on, I'd never let anything happen to you!" Amy cooed, snuggling herself against his arm, idly letting the blue hero wonder whether there were any mutants that perhaps had tentacle powers. "I'd totally be a mutant strong enough to protect you. Maybe I'd have that explosions power from that gambling guy. I like cards. Or I could unleash a devastating storm, like the one that controls the weather."

"Yeah, or like that Rogue chick who sucks her lover dry," Rouge whispered at the same time into Sonic's ear while Amy at his other side was still chattering on, having the satisfaction of seeing the blue hero wilting ever so little at this projection.

Why did I even bring anyone to this movie except Tails...?

"Awesome, now we all have characters!" the fox kit cheered at this point, "Now we'd only need a team name!"

"Fine, though I swear by the Master Emerald, if 'Wolverine' here so much as breathes a single word about 'Teamwork' or the power thereof, all the healing abilities in the world won't save him, just so we're clear," Knuckles grumbled, shooting Sonic in Amy's death grip a preventive glare. The echidna had not forgotten the hedgehog's attempts at horrid pep-talks during that whole Metal Sonic business.

"How about the S-Men?" Amy suggested instead brightly. "S for Sonic, of course!"

Shadow raised an eye ridge. "That name, girl, only needs an additional 'e' to be the official worst team name in comic book history," he said, and Amy blushed a fierce crimson, Rouge giggling and Tails looking on cluelessly while Sonic fervently hoped the kid wouldn't ask.

"Err, why, why not X-Mobians?" the blue hedgehog interjected quickly instead, changing the name up for discussion. They had also just arrived at the train station by now, and Knuckles was looking forward to the next one taking them straight back to Mystic Ruins so Tails could fly him home, thereby ending that discussion permanently.

"X...Mobians..." Rouge tried the name, but didn't seem too overwhelmed. "I don't know, seems a bit...derivative to me."

"Hey," Sonic piped up suddenly, "How about Sonic X?"

There was a moment of silence. Then:

"...if they ever introduce a non-mutant, unnecessary kid character in X-Men, I hope Wolverine guts him."

Everyone agreed.

Fin

Hi there!^^ Heh, yes, updates have finally resumed, even if it *might* have seemed like I died - sadly, someone in my family did, so that's what caused the fic-writing hiatus...but there will be updates, no worries. Just don't know how frequent, but Burning Arrow, Wildfire Heart is definitely the next to go up. :) Thanks for all your reviews, hope you liked! :D