Disclaimer: As everyone knows, I do not own the characters from Hanazakari no Kimitachi e. But boy, oh boy, would I like to borrow a few of them for a few hours...

Thank you, Nakajo-sensei!

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Memories and Dreams, Truth and Trust

A Hana-Kimi FanFic

By Janice Rips

Sano Izumi lay in his bunk, thinking back on his recent trip to California. The American athletes had been impressive to watch. Then again, they were all college guys, so that was to be expected. New Year's Eve had been its own kind of fun. The coach had bought a ton of take-out food from this place just off campus called The Bento Box, and a bunch of snacks from a little non-descript Asian market. He also got the boys a couple bottles of saké, with the understanding that it wouldn't leave the room. (American alcohol laws are so strict!) Sano made a point of not having any saké. After all, while Nakatsu was aware of his 'little problem', it wouldn't do to get drunk and kiss some guy from one of the other dorms. Still, the impromptu party was nice, and had helped stave off some of the homesickness and culture shock.

The next day, New Year's Day, was like something from a television comedy. The Osaka athletes had been given a free day, so Sano and Nakatsu decided to walk around campus. Nakatsu got hungry (as usual), so they stopped at a deli. They waited their turn while some blonde guy got a couple of bagel sandwiches, then Sano watched with amusement as Nakatsu tried to make himself understood to the woman behind the counter, his 'school English' woefully inadequate to the task. By the time Sano offered to help, Nakatsu had given up in disgust.

They went back to strolling around UC Berkley, Nakatsu still belly-aching about his empty stomach, when a familiar voice shouted, "What are you guys doing here?" It was his best friend and roommate, Ashiya, followed by the blond from the deli, her friend Gilbert. Imagine crossing an ocean, only to run into your roommate on the other side! The four of them went out to eat and got Nakatsu the biggest burger any of them had ever seen! (Damned if that glutton didn't eat the whole thing!) At that time, he felt kind of sorry for Gilbert, who obviously didn't understand a word of Japanese... at least he had, until after Dr. Ashiya kidnapped them to help with the piglets, and Mizuki turned the tables on them, with her 'English Only' scheme. Clearly, she had hoped to use the language barrier to help keep her secret under wraps. It wasn't a bad idea, and it had worked, too... well, it worked on poor Nakatsu, at least.

Poor Nakatsu. The guy was so clueless. Had Sano not wanted Mizuki for himself, he might have been tempted to take the bleached-blond aside and say, "Look, Shuichi. You're not gay. Mizuki is a girl. She just pretended to be a guy so she could go to this school." But what a disaster that would be! Either Nakatsu would be hurt and/or pissed off, or he would be utterly ecstatic and relieved. Either way, he'd probably do something stupid and Ashiya would have to leave. Nakatsu was as likely to confront her in front of their classmates as he was to become even more relentless in his pursuit of the girl, and either action would result in Ashiya returning to California for good. Sano was not about to let that happen, not if he could prevent it. He just hoped he could-- after all, if you looked up the word 'careless' in the dictionary, Mizuki's picture would be grinning right back at you.

Ah, Mizuki. You have no idea how lucky you are, do you? Your family is so... warm. Now that he's met her family, he begins to understand the bundle of contradictions that is Ashiya Mizuki. Her father, with his madcap enthusiasm, impulsiveness, klutziness, and love of animals. Her mother, grace and determination, kindness and strength. And her older brother, overbearing, protective, and surprisingly insightful. And most of all, so much love in this family that it spills over onto all those around them, accepting and enfolding a couple of teenage boys from Japan merely on Mizuki's say so.

Sano sighed. No matter what he started out thinking about, his thoughts always seemed to circle back to Mizuki. Mizuki like high-speed poetry, determined to win the relay for Dorm 2. Mizuki like a sentimental love song, blushing in his arms at the Christmas Ball. Mizuki, giddy as a child, seeing her first snowfall. Mizuki, sexy and innocent, completely unaware of how tempting she looks in the Saint Blossom's gym uniform. Mizuki, naked and almost in his arms at the hot springs. Mizuki... Sano, feeling an uncomfortable tightening in his groin, tried to put a stop to these thoughts, but one more difficult memory replayed in his head. Mizuki getting into his bed after the photo shoot. Mizuki, sound asleep, murmuring and rubbing herself against him. Sano felt his face grow hot at the memory, the pull in his groin becoming painful. He supposed it made sense that girls sometimes had arousing dreams, too, but it was hard to believe that of someone as innocent as his Mizuki (his?), and doubly difficult to accept himself as the subject of those nocturnal fantasies. And yet, she had said, "Sano, you're so sexy!" in her sleep. Did that mean that she wanted to be with him as badly as he wanted to be with her? And was it love, or merely lust? Well, he couldn't speak for Mizuki, but he was pretty sure it was more than mere lust on his part. As he listened to her soft breathing in the bunk above him, he knew he wanted to keep her by his side.

Suddenly there was a restless shifting overhead, then Mizuki climbed down and groggily shuffled to the bathroom. Sano felt his heartbeat accelerate in anticipation as he lay behind his curtain, holding his breath. The toilet flushed, and he could hear her padding back toward the bunks... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... WHUMP! Sure enough, she flopped into bed with him. "Hey, Ashiya... Go back to your own bed! Ashiya!" Sano made a token protest, then, with a resigned sigh, curled himself around the slight girl, and, making a valiant effort to ignore the tug at his heartstrings and the matching one in his loins, drifted off to the soft rhythm of her breathing.

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Ashiya Mizuki was having the most wonderfully erotic dream. She was standing in the hot spring, naked and relaxed, when Sano came up behind her. He pulled her back against him, murmuring her name softly in her ear... "Mizuki..." His arm wrapped around her from behind, his hand lightly caressing her belly, then moving upwards to cup her breast, his thumb thrumming gently over her nipple. Mizuki could feel the heat pooling between her thighs, and she wriggled back against him, gasping at the feel of him pressing against her from behind.

She woke with a start, shifting rapidly from pleasure to panic as she realized two things: one, she was no longer in her own bunk, and two, Sano's hand was up under her nightshirt, firmly cupping her breast, his thumb rhythmically caressing her nipple. The sensation was heavenly, but Mizuki was mortified, and desperately hoped that Sano was still asleep, and unaware of what he was doing. "S-Sano?" she whispered tremulously.

"Mmm... Mizuki..." Sano murmured into her ear.

"Sano," she hissed, "are you awake?"

"Mmnah... Not awake... Bes' dream..." he purred drowsily. Mizuki tried to squirm out from under Sano's arm, but he clutched her tighter. "Don' go, Mizuki," he muttered.

"Sano, let me go," Mizuki pleaded, trying to wriggle loose.

"Not Sano... Izumi," he insisted in his sleep, nuzzling her neck.

"Izumi... please, please let go!" Mizuki sobbed, tears running down her face. She had dreamed of his touch, but it was only a fantasy. This wasn't how this was supposed to go.

At the sound of her cries, Sano blinked into wakefulness, then realized, with a shock, just where his hand was gripping. He pulled it away as though burned, and Mizuki immediately flew into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. "Ashiya!" he called after her, getting up and going to the bathroom door. He jiggled the knob futilely. "Damn it," he cursed softly, slumping against the barrier between him and the girl he wanted to stay by his side. "Ashiya?" he called more softly. "Ashiya. Open the door. Please, Mizuki-chan, let's talk."

Her muffled voice came through the door. "There's nothing to talk about," she sniffled.

"Mizuki, I'm sorry! I didn't even realize what I was doing! You know I would never force you, I'm not Makita!" he pleaded.

"I know that!" she replied, sobbing harder.

"Then why won't you let me in? Please, Mizuki-chan!" he begged.

"There! That's why! It's all ruined!" she cried.

"What? What's ruined?" he asked, confused.

"Everything! You know! you know, and you'll tell everyone else, and... and... I might as well pack my stuff tonight! It's all over!" she wailed.

"Mizuki. Open the door," he said softly.

"No," she whimpered.

"Please. I'm not gonna tell anyone," he promised. "I haven't so far, why would I now?"

In the ensuing silence, the lock clicked, and the bathroom door swung slowly open. Mizuki, red-eyed and trembling, peered out. "You knew?"

Sano looked away, an embarrassed flush of crimson staining his cheeks. "Yeah, I knew," he admitted.

"How long?" Mizuki whispered, her eyes bright with disbelief.

"Almost from the start. When you got knocked out playing soccer with Nakatsu, I was the one who carried you to Dr. Umeda. Your vest may hide the appearance of breasts, but your chest is still softer to the touch. It was... disconcerting, to say the least."

"I guess so," she agreed. "Funny, that was when Umeda-sensei found out, too."

"Umeda knows?" Sano was astounded. "Why would he let you go on with this charade? He isn't blackmailing you, is he?"

"No! He's been really helpful! He and his sister Io, too," Mizuki defended him. "As for why, well, despite how jaded he seems, inside Umeda-sensei is a true romantic. He's been rooting for me all along. Also," she admitted, "I think he rather enjoys putting one over on the school officials."

"So, Io knows, too. Ashiya, just how many people know that you're a girl in a boys' school?" Sano wondered.

"Let's see..." she mused, "Umeda and Io... Julia, of course... Rio just thinks I'm gay, like her brother... Shizuki... I told Gilbert over New Year's... and you. I think that's it."

"You forgot one. Hara Akiha knows," Sano stated.

"You think so?" she asked.

"I know so. Here," he replied, handing her an envelope. Inside were the photos of Mizuki that Hara had given Sano.

Mizuki flipped through the pictures, stunned. "Ohmigod... I totally look like a girl in these shots," she said, growing agitated. "Is it always this obvious?"

"If it were, I don't think you would have gotten away with it for this long. You're lucky there are guys like Nakao and Kadoma around, otherwise you would stick out like a sore thumb," he commented.

Mizuki pondered this for a moment, then coked her head to peer quizzically at Sano. "So, you still haven't told me why you haven't told anyone."

Sano blushed again. "Well, at first I was curious. You didn't seem 'dangerous crazy', even if you were sort of stalking me... Then I found myself looking forward to seeing your smiling face, and I realized that I would miss you if you left." Despite his embarrassment, he looked her in the eye. "I don't want to be the reason you leave. I want you to stay by my side."

Mizuki blushed pink as she stared at him, wide-eyed. "Do you mean it? Really?" she asked in a small voice.

"Yeah," he assured her, "I do. I love you, Mizuki. That's why I wanted to know how you felt about me."

"As a boy, I couldn't really answer that," she said shyly.

"How about now, as a girl?" he inquired, his heart in his throat.

"I love you, too, Izumi," she answered, her feelings shining in her eyes. Sano pulled her into his arms, cradling her there like something precious. Mizuki sighed contentedly, but then pulled away slightly, a small frown creasing her brow as an unwelcome thought intruded on her happiness. "Um, Izumi, what are we going to do about this situation?"

"This--? Oh," he realized, remembering how this whole conversation started. He kissed her gently on the forehead. "I meant what I said, Mizuki. This really was accidental. I will never, ever force you to do something you don't want to, and I'll try not to move faster than you're ready for. I'm just happy not to have to hide my feelings from you any longer."

She smiled, a little sadly. "Me too, Izumi. Still, I guess you'll want me to try not to climb in bed with you anymore, so this doesn't happen again."

Sano sighed. "If you do that, I can guarantee that you will be living with a very sad and lonely guy. Please don't avoid me, Mizuki. I don't think I could take it. If you're really concerned, you can cuddle into my back. That way, nothing can happen. The only thing worse than you leaving Japan, would be having you here, but having you turn away from me. I need your smile. I need you to believe in me. I need you, Mizuki." A tear coursed down his cheek, and he quickly turned away from her. "Damn it," he gave a self-deprecating chuckle, "and after all the times I told you 'boys don't cry'."

A small, soft hand touched his shoulder. "Izumi, don't turn away from me, either. I love you, and... I trust you. Let's go back to bed. It's still too early to be up," she smiled, hugging him. They climbed back into Sano's bunk and slept, face to face.

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AN: So, this was my first venture into the world of Hana-Kimi fanfics. I know, everybody has his or her take on how Mizuki finds out that Sano knows her secret. This one is mine. Hope you enjoyed it!