A/N I realize that it's been a really long time since I posted anything. My life has finally started to work again and I'm hoping to post regularly till this story is finished.

Ryan was certain Speed was going to lose at least a finger. His protectee was chopping vegetables at a totally unreasonable pace with a knife that, in Ryan's opinion, was excessively large and sharp.

"Slow down, Speed," he asked for the second time. "You're going to hurt yourself."

Speed laughed. Most people had that reaction when they saw Speed handling knives. "Relax," he told his bodyguard, "I'm a trained professional." He pointed with his knife to the back wall of his kitchen where a diploma was hanging. "I even graduated with honors."

Ryan looked over his shoulder at the wall. The diploma was from the Culinary Institute of America and was made out to one Timothy Speedle. "You trained to be a chef?"

"Yeah," Speed said, throwing the now chopped vegetables into a hot pan. "After I finished high school, I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I though being a chef sounded cool so I gave it a try. Only after I finished school did I realize I didn't like the food industry at all. So while I was working as a chef I went back to school and got my degrees in chemistry." The vegetables sizzled in the pan as Speed mixed in spices and seasonings. Once they had sautéed long enough he added two handfuls of shrimp. Everything smelled so good, Ryan's stomach audibly rumbled. Speed smiled at the sound. "Sounds like you're hungry."

Ryan shrugged slightly. "I haven't eaten anything all day," he said by way of explanation. "And changing shape uses a lot of energy, so I'm generally always hungry."

"That's my favorite kind of person. You remember Calliegh?" he asked Ryan. "She was the one with blonde hair and a southern accent." Ryan nodded. "She eats my body weight in food in one sitting and is hungry again in an hour. She and Horatio spend a ludicrous amount on groceries every month. " Speed deftly stirred the food in the pan one last time before mixing in some pasta and turning off the stove. He heaped food into two plates and put one in front of Ryan who was sitting at the kitchen island.

"This looks amazing," Ryan said as Speed sat down. It tasted even better—the shrimp was cooked just right and has soaked up the garlic and butter in which they had been cooked. The vegetables were still slightly crisp and also had a faint flavor of garlic, butter, and rosemary. Speed ate his dinner, though a much slower pace, and watched as Ryan all but inhaled his dinner. It always made Speed happy when people liked his food so much they forgot about table manners. It was a heartwarming compliment. He was also glad that Ryan ate human food. Speed had not been sure what his wolf/man bodyguard would eat.

"I take it you like dinner," Speed ventured.

Ryan looked up from his plate clearly embarrassed. "Sorry. I swear I've got table manners. It's just that this is so good."

"I'm glad you like it," Speed said before taking a bite of shrimp. "If you don't mind me asking, do you eat in your other form?"

"I can but I try really hard not to eat when I'm a wolf. I end up craving raw meat for weeks. Not to mention it leaves me with a huge stomach ache when I shift back to being human. "

Speed nodded thoughtfully. "Well then you should eat up while you're a human," he said as he piled more food onto his bodyguard's plates. Ryan smiled appreciatively before he started eating again—though this time at a decidedly slower pace. They finished dinner in a comfortable silence.

"Would like some coffee?" Speed asked as he put the dirty dishes in the sink.

"Sure," Ryan said. He paused before adding, "We should probably talk about this whole assassination and bodyguard business before you go to bed." He wasn't sure how Speed felt about having a bodyguard, especially one that could shape shift. Horatio has told him to expect resistance from Speed—that the man was very private and the idea of someone following him around everywhere was well, unsavory.

But so far his protectee had acted like having Ryan around was the most natural thing. Speed had had no problem when the Ryan had followed him all day at work. And when they'd gotten back to Speed's apartment, Ryan had asked for a quick tour of the place to familiarize himself with the territory. Speed had showed him the apartment without hesitation.

But the one thing that stuck out in Ryan's mind the most, that made him think that Speed might actually like having him around, was the fact that Speed had let him drive the Ducati. The bike was clearly important to Speed—Ryan had believed him when he'd said no one but him drove the bike. But then Speed had unexpectedly changed his mind and let Ryan drive. When he added up all of Speed's behaviors and what he'd been told about the man, Ryan wasn't sure what to expect from Speed.

Lost in his thoughts, it took Ryan a moment to notice that Speed was still facing the sink and was completely motionless. When he did he called out to his protectee. "Hey, Speed….is everything ok?" Speed didn't answer. Ryan got up from his stool at the island and walked over to the other man, placing a hand on his shoulder. The muscle under Ryan's hands was tense like it had been this afternoon. "Speed?" he called again. Speed made no move to turn around. Ryan could feel the muscles in Speed's shoulder tensing even tighter.

Now slightly frightened, Ryan gently forced the other man to face him. What he saw surprised him.

Speed was crying.

Ryan had no clue what to do. Speed had been fine all of two minutes ago. And while he'd dealt with crying people before, Ryan had no idea how to deal with someone when he didn't know why they were suddenly crying. Hesitantly, Ryan started to pull the other man closer to him, and when he found no resistance, closed the distance between them. Speed's arms went around Ryan's waist and he buried his head in his bodyguard's shoulder. All it took was a few whispers of support from Ryan before Speed was sobbing violently; clinging to the other man like his life depended on it. Ryan just held Speed tighter, hoping that it would be enough for his protectee.

It must have been enough because eventually Speed's sobs subsided and he pulled away from Ryan, careful to not look the other man in the eye. He mumbled something about needing to clean the rest of the dishes and started to turn back towards the sink.

But Ryan wasn't going to let him off that easily. He forced Speed to face him again. "Want to tell me what that was all about?" Ryan asked gently. Speed still refused to look directly at Ryan and instead his gaze flickered around the kitchen. Sighing, Ryan pulled Speed back into his arms. "Whatever you tell me, Speed, is completely confidential. I won't tell anyone."

Speed wasn't sure why, but Ryan put him at ease. He suspected that it was part of being a good bodyguard, making sure your protectee felt comfortable around you. Or it might have been Ryan's hard, strong arms were wrapped around him, protecting him. It had been years since someone had held Speed—moreover with Ryan it felt good…and right. Whatever the reasons, Speed found himself opening up.

"All this…I guess it just caught up with me," Speed whispered into Ryan's shoulder. "Someone out there really is…really is trying to kill me." He clung a little tighter to Ryan before continuing, "And I don't even know why. Or what to do about it."

"If you trust me and let me do my job right, no one is going to get you Speed," Ryan said, rubbing circles on the other man's back. They stood there, holding each other next to the kitchen sink, letting the minutes slide by.

Eventually, when it seemed that Speed had truly calmed down, Ryan asked, "Do you know anything about my kind?" Ryan felt Speed shake his head no. "People call us werewolves, though we're nothing like the werewolves in the stories. Real bullets, not just silver ones, can hurt me. I can change whenever I want, not just during the full moon. And when I'm a wolf, I don't become an animal—I still have all my human intelligence," Ryan explained.

"I'd heard rumors about you guys," Speed said. "That you protect only the most valuable things out there. I heard that even the President isn't valuable enough for you guys to protect."

Ryan laughed quietly, his warm breath ghosting over Speed's ear. "First, the President has the entire Secret Service keeping him safe. He doesn't need to be protected by my kind. Second, we do more than just protect things, though that is a popular line of work. But it is true, the things that we protect are considered immensely valuable. There about two hundred of my kind around the globe. Fun fact, we are all related by blood in some way."

Speed took in all this information before asking, "If you normally protect nearly priceless things, then what are you doing here with me?"

"My uncle is the alpha male of my pack. We live all up and down the East coast. His wife was in New York City years ago when she got into a lot of trouble," Ryan said. "Horatio Caine was still working in the city at the time, and he helped her out. Most likely he saved her life. My uncle was so grateful, he told Caine that if he ever needed anything from my kind to just let him know. I'm here because your boss called in a favor."

Speed laughed weakly. "That man is the most overprotective person I've ever met," he said. "I'm just part of his staff and he pulls strings like this."

"That's not true," Ryan countered. "You must mean a great deal to him, if he called my uncle to ask for a bodyguard. He cares about you—you're part of his family."

"I know that," Speed said, "but sometimes the man goes overboard."

"It's just a case of better safe than sorry," he said. Ryan noticed that Speed felt completely relaxed in his arms. None of the tension that had been present earlier remained. As such Ryan let his hold on Speed loosen and started to let him go. Speed reacted almost violently, further tightening his grip on Ryan. Once again surprised, Ryan moved back closer to Speed.

"Are we going to have this entire conversation with your head on my shoulder?" Ryan joked, trying to be playful and put Speed at ease. However, that was the wrong thing to say because Ryan could feel the tension building in Speed once more. Speed squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment and shame. He was a grown man god dammit—he was supposed to be strong. This whole assassination business shouldn't have affected him this badly. It was bad enough that he'd all but bawled into Ryan's shoulder. But now Ryan must think he was some kind of weakling who needed to be coddled. It was just it felt so good to held for the first time in years…

"Because it's ok if we do. I don't mind holding you like this if it makes you feel more comfortable," Ryan said backpedaling. When Speed showed no signs of relaxing Ryan whispered," I kind of like holding you anyways."

Ryan shut his eyes at his own admission. He wasn't supposed to say things like that! Under no circumstance could he become emotionally attached to his protectees. He'd made that mistake once in his life and had nearly gotten a young girl killed. The painful memories and lessons from those events hadn't left Ryan in all the years since. Keeping his distance was his number one rule—it was the only way he could ensure that he'd stay sharp, alert, and able to do his job.

But here he was holding Speed in the man's kitchen. It didn't help that Ryan had felt drawn to Speed since he'd met the man. Or that his protectee was very, very easy on the eyes. If they'd met under different circumstances, maybe something could have happened. They could have been friends or maybe more. Ryan shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts out of his head. He didn't need to be thinking like that. Not when he had someone to protect.

"You like holding me?" Speed asked, unsure of the implications.

"Yeah," Ryan replied. Dammit! This was not supposed to be happening. "It feels…nice."

Ryan felt Speed smile against his neck. "I like it too," he admitted. "I know you're not supposed to get involved with your protectees but this is ok, right?"

The slight tinge of desperation in Speed's voice was all that Ryan needed to hear before he caved. "Yeah, this is ok," he said. He wanted to tell Speed that it couldn't go past this, that even this was more than should be happening. But he remembered the feeling of Speed's smile on his neck and figured he could tell him tomorrow.

In the hallway Speed's grandfather clock chimed, signaling it was eleven o'clock. "We should probably get to bed soon," Speed said. "I've got to go in early to work tomorrow. I'm meeting a guy from a crime lab up north for a consult."

"Well then let's get you to bed," Ryan said. Speed didn't move. "Speed," Ryan said, "we're going to have to move you know."

"I know. But we didn't finish talking about everything," he said. "You said we needed to talk."

Ryan knew Speed didn't want to talk, but was using it as an excuse to stay in Ryan's arms. "We can talk about specifics tomorrow morning."

"I really don't mind."

"It can all wait until tomorrow morning, Speed," Ryan said. He let go of Speed, and looked him in eye. Speed's face was withdrawn but resigned—the fantasy had been destroyed and reality had set in. Ryan was his bodyguard and nothing more.

It hurt Ryan a little to see Speed look like that, even though it shouldn't have hurt him at all. And he found himself caving for the second time that evening. "Why don't you got get ready sleep while I lock own the house?" Ryan suggested. "When I'm done I'll…," he hesitated. He really shouldn't be suggesting this, offering this to Speed. But against all his better judgment he did. "When I'm done I'll come hold you till you fall asleep. Deal?"

"Deal," Speed responded happily. He put the last of the dishes into the sink and then left the kitchen heading upstairs.

Ryan pinched the bridge of his nose as he watched Speed walk out of the room. This was bad. He shouldn't be encouraging Speed like this. But one night of indulgence couldn't hurt. He'd set both of them straight tomorrow.