I know Valentine's Day isn't for another month, but I don't really care. This came about while watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air late one night on Nick at Nite. I adore Will Smith and in this episode, he treats Ashley like a little girl when he lets her double with him and his date. Anyway, it's based off of that episode. I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Life With Derek. Or Big Macs. I've never even purchased one, because they're disgusting.
Bounding down the stairs, Derek flopped down into his favorite recliner in front of the television and snatched the remote control away from the younger boy sitting next to him. Edwin didn't even flinch, just simply sighed. The eighteen-year-old glanced at his brother out of his peripheral vision. He was sitting on the side of the couch closest to Derek's chair, leaning on the armrest as if his life depended on it, slumped over so far Derek could hardly see his face. Derek muted the television and sat up in the recliner, attempting to get a better look at him.
"What's up, Ed?"
"Callie…" he replied, on a sigh.
The older Venturi raised an eyebrow. He should have assumed it was girl troubles. Edwin looked at him for a moment and sat up a little taller, taking a deep breath as if he was getting ready to explain himself.
"She's in my English class." He started. "I stayed up almost all night last night making her this valentine." Derek snorted, but Edwin chose to ignore it. "And I bought her a rose and some of her favorite candy and left it all in her locker."
Derek went over the list in his head, affirming it. "Sounds like a typical Valentine's gift. So, what? Did she not like it or something?"
"No, she absolutely loved it. I watched her open it from down the hall."
"Okay…?"
"Well, in the valentine, I told her to meet me here at five o' clock for a special Valentine's Day treat, and here it is, nearly six and she hasn't shown up yet."
Derek's eyes shot to the clock on the DVD player beneath the TV.
"I don't get it. She acted like she really liked the gift, so why isn't she here?"
"You told her to meet you at our house?" he questioned. Edwin nodded. "Does she know where our house is?"
Edwin shrugged and half nodded this time. "She came to mine and Lizzie's birthday party last year, I assume she still knows how to get here."
Derek's eyebrow furrowed slightly, as if he was concentrating on something. Suddenly, his head turned towards his little brother. "Ed, did you sign the card?"
Realization and embarrassment shown in Edwin's eyes immediately. Frustrated, he grabbed a pillow from beside him and shouted some unnecessary words into it. Derek smiled sympathetically
"You should, um, probably go call her." He said through while attempting not to laugh.
Instantaneously, the younger boy jumped from the couch and bolted upstairs, directly past his stepsister, who had just entered from the kitchen, obviously flustered.
With an annoyed grunt, she flopped down on the couch. Her arms were folded across her chest defensively and she was visibly very upset. Derek was almost afraid to speak, but he knew she couldn't possibly be aggravated with him, so decided to ask anyway.
"Something wrong, Liz?"
Lizzie's featured softened a bit, almost instantly.
"No." she said, huffing.
Derek shrugged. Oh well, he'd tried. He sat back in his chair and picked up the remote, his finger inching towards the mute button to turn the volume back up.
"Yes." Lizzie groaned, as soon as he'd hit the button.
Rolling his eyes, he muted the television again and turned to face his stepsister.
"My mom is so…ugh!" He nodded, silently asking her to continue. "I have a Valentine's date with Jamie tonight and apparently she doesn't trust us enough to let us go out together without a chaperone. I mean we've only been together for like a year, now. She's going to go with us, Derek! They both are. It's like some double date or something. They're going to drive us, go to dinner with us, even to the same movie!"
Derek raised an eyebrow, surprised at how protective Nora was being over her youngest daughter. He didn't remember any of the when Casey was dating. Of course, he hadn't exactly been around when she was first starting dating, so he didn't actually know.
"Why can't Casey just drop you off? I'm sure she has nothing planned for this lovely evening." He replied, sounding almost hopeful – hopeful for Lizzie of course, not that Casey didn't have anything planned. Why would he care if she had plans on Valentine's Day? Psh. He didn't, so why even ask?
"She does." Both of their faces fell. "She's making dinner for Max."
"Max?" Derek asked, disgusted. "They broke up like forever ago."
Lizzie shrugged. "He asked her to be his valentine, some really romantic crap, yadda yadda. I wasn't really listening when she explained it. I don't really care. I think she thinks this means they're going to get back together…but I think everyone else knows Max only wants one thing from her."
Derek smirked at his stepsister. She always had been more practical than Casey, much less dramatic, and really almost the exact opposite. He loved her for that.
But then, he remembered her predicament and frowned. "Sorry, kiddo, doesn't sound promising for you." She sighed, rather loudly.
Suddenly, she turned to Derek, her eyes light with mischief. She smiled at him rather suspiciously. He looked back at her, slightly confused.
"Derek, you and I both know how much Jamie admires you. He practically thinks you're a god."
Derek smirked, letting the girl boost his ego. "And who's to say he's not right?"
Lizzie forced herself to not roll her eyes, instead grabbing Derek's arm and looking at him imploringly.
They stared at each other for a moment before Derek finally realized what she was asking and started shaking his head vigorously, attempting to pull his arm away. "Oh, no. I don't get involved. Ever. Period."
"Please, Derek? All you'd have to do is drop us off at some restaurant close to a theater, then we could walk there and you can pick us up on your way home. Pleeeease?"
However, Derek was very adamant about his position. "No, Lizzie. I have my own plans tonight." And he did, indeed. He couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips when he thought about the cute redhead he was taking out. Her name was Candice.
Lizzie was about to retort, when her mother entered the room, carrying a newspaper in her hand.
"All right, Lizzard, do you think Jamie would like Veggie Tales or Alvin and the Chipmunks better?" Nora asked, munching on a cracker in the process and staring at the paper in her hands.
Derek flinched when Lizzie's hand gripped his arm much tighter and she cast him a worried look, silently begging him to do something.
"Georgie and I would much rather chipmunks, if you don't mind. Something about dancing vegetables just doesn't seem very right…or sanitary."
"Um, actually Nora…" Derek started, a grimace on his face. "Lizzie and I are going to double tonight. I'll take her and Jamie out."
Nora looked at Derek skeptically, seeming to search his face for a sign. Although a sign for what, he wasn't sure.
"That's rather nice of you, Derek." She said, narrowing her eyes accusingly.
He smiled awkwardly, unable to control it. "Well, you know how Jamie looks up to me. Maybe I can show him a few pointers."
"Pointers for a date in a dark theater? I don't think so."
"Actually, we're going to all play miniature golf." Lizzie piped up. "Boys against girls." Her mother looked to Derek for affirmation and he nodded, ever so slightly.
"That better be all you give him pointers on, Derek. What about afterwards?"
"Well, I was thinking maybe a carjacking or two, possibly a bank heist. But I'm not sure Candice will enjoy that, so we'll probably just come home."
Nora rolled her eyes, whacking her stepson over the head with the newspaper. "You better not be late to curfew." Then, she exited the living room and Derek glanced sideways to his stepsister, who was grinning triumphantly. Before he could protest, she jumped up and hugged his neck tightly.
"Thank you, Derek!"
"Yeah, yeah. Just…be ready to go by seven, okay?"
But his request was lost to the sound of Lizzie bouncing up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He assumed she was going to get ready and figured he should probably do the same.
Not two seconds after he had shut the door to his bedroom he heard a loud banging.
"Derek, open up!"
Groaning, he pulled the door open abruptly. "What?"
Casey entered his room with out being invited, annoyance evident on her face.
"Sure, come on in." Derek said sarcastically. "How can I help you, Princess?"
"What are you planning?"
"What are you talking about?"
"With my sister! Don't play dumb with me, Derek. Why are you taking her out with you?"
Derek shrugged, flopping down on his bed and bending down to untie his shoes. "I'm just doing her a favor, since you couldn't and your mom is suddenly so anal about her and Jamie. Now, do you mind, I've got a date to get ready for?"
"That's exactly the problem! I know how you are on your dates. That is not something my baby sister needs to be subjected to. You do what's best for both of you and tell her you can't take her. Make my Mom do it." Casey took a few steps toward him, pointing an accusing finger.
He was unfazed, however. "Sorry, Spacey, but I already gave her my word. Besides, all that stuff doesn't happen until after the date, long after Jamie and Lizzie will be tucked away in their separate beds."
Her eyes narrowed at this. "Right, because you wait until after to do, what is it called? Oh yeah, 'turn on the Derek charm'. I don't think so, not around Lizzie. "
Derek scoffed. "If you're so worried, why don't you cook for Max and Lizzie and Jamie?"
"B-because!" Casey started, her face flushed. She obviously didn't have a good excuse as to why she couldn't. Derek smirked.
"That's what I thought. Now, like I said, I have a date to get ready for, so…" he left the sentence unfinished as held stood next to the door, ushering her out.
"Derek, you had better be on your best behavior, or I swear your life will be over."
"Don't worry. I know how to treat a lady." Before Casey could retort, he had slammed the door in her face and returned to getting ready.
A little later, on the miniature golf course, Derek grinned as he came up behind his date, wrapping his arms around her.
"Derek, what are you doing?" Candice asked while laughing.
"Your form is a little off, I'm just trying to help." He replied, running his hands down her arms. She leaned into him for a moment, and then suddenly shrugged him off.
"Not in front of your stepsister." She said, looking a few holes behind where Lizzie and Jamie were in deep conversation.
Derek scratched his head sheepishly. "Oh, right." Then he smirked. "We can always hit up that cave over there." With his golf club, he pointed to the fake rock formation.
Candice slapped his arm lightly. "Derek, stop." She then hit her ball and turned back to face him, leaning on her own club. "It's sweet, what you're doing for her, though. My older brothers would never have let me come on a Valentine's date with them."
He smiled and leaned down to set his ball on the tee. "What can I say? I try and do what I can to help out when my family needs it. And today, she needed me."
"They are cute together." She whispered to him, as they looked at the younger couple behind them. Jamie was leaning in towards Lizzie and Derek could tell she was laughing.
"Yeah, I suppose so. What do you think he's saying to her?" He set his club down, lining up his shot.
"Probably the same thing you were saying to girls when you were that age, if the rumors are true about you, Venturi."
Derek straightened up again. "Depends on the rumor." He said, raising his eyebrow slightly. "No, I doubt it. When I was that age, I was trying to get girls to…" He trailed off, looking towards his stepsister. Something about the scene in front of him was all too familiar. He laughed nervously. "No, no. I mean, I was way advanced for my age. And, I mean, they're just kids."
Candice gave him a knowing look. "Oh, come on, she's what fourteen? She's not that young, Derek. She's turning in to a beautiful young girl." Derek shrugged this off, not willing to accept that response. Candice rolled her eyes, feeling the need to prove her point. "Didn't you see what the guy working inside did to her?"
Derek instantly tensed up, sure he wasn't going to like where this was going. "No. What'd he do?"
"He rolled her ball off the table on purpose, so she'd have to pick it up."
He shook his head, completely disinclined to this answer. "No, no. The only reason he'd do that would be to check her…out…"
For the first time that evening, he let his eyes wander over Lizzie's form. She was dressed in a skirt, relatively short considering he didn't think he'd ever seen her in one, and a tank top with a pretty see-through sweater over it. And she was definitely attractive. She was related to Casey, after all.
Adamant on his decision, he ignored the comments, lining up his ball again. "No, no. Not Lizzie, that's not possible with her. I don't think she's even kissed a boy, yet, much less even thought about…that."
Together, they walked towards the next hole, both avoiding looking behind them.
"My first kiss was right before I turned thirteen." Candice said brightly, as if it would make him feel better. Unfortunately, it did quite the opposite.
"Yeah, but…I mean, Jamie's a good kid. He's got straight A's, and he's involved in like…debate and crap like that. He's not like me."
"Whatever you say, Derek. I'm just saying that when I was fourteen, it definitely happened to me, a lot."
He took one last look behind him at the couple, and then forced himself to forget they were even there.
"All right," he started, attempting to change the subject, "if I make this a hole-in-one, what do I get?" Candice smirked. "Come on, five minutes in the cave?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively for emphasis.
Candice couldn't stop the giggle that came out as she shoved him slightly. "Derek!"
He was about to raise the offer to ten minutes when a similar noise drifted through the air.
"Jamie!" He heard Lizzie squeal, followed by the same giggle Candice had just used. His head snapped in the direction it came from. He saw them in a similar position to the one he and Candice had been in minutes before; Lizzie standing over her club with Jamie's arms wrapped around her waist.
At that exact moment, he remembered something she had told him earlier.
"You and I both know how much Jamie admires you. He practically thinks you're a god."
Derek outwardly winced. It was true, the kid had only told him so many times how much he looked up to him. And he was sure that some rumors about his Grade Nine days had followed him all the way until this year. If Jamie heard these rumors, would he act them out on his own in an attempt to become more like Derek?
Over the course of the next few holes, Derek watched Lizzie and Jamie intently, scrutinizing the boy's every move. Candice was talking to him most of the time, but he didn't care. The more he observed them, the more he noticed how similar Jamie's act was to his own at that age; the touches, the glances, even that smirk. It was all way too familiar and he didn't like Lizzie being in that position.
"Oh, yes, hole-in-one!" he vaguely heard Candice shout from somewhere ahead of him. Again, he didn't care. He was much more interested in the way Jamie was tucking that lock of hair behind Lizzie's ear. They leaned in towards each other and that was when Derek realized he had to act fast.
He looked around frantically, trying to figure something out, when his eyes landed on the tiny bit of pencil tied to a string used to mark on the scorecards. He ripped the string off and chunked the writing utensil across the course, effectively hitting Jamie in the back of the head.
Lizzie and Jamie both looked in the direction that the flying object came from, but Derek has returned to Candice's side, secretly watching them from behind her. He hardly even noticed when Candice slid her arms around his neck.
"Don't I get something for my hole-in-one, Derek?" She whispered seductively.
"Oh, I'm sure you'll do better on the next hole." He said as he removed her arms from his body, his eyes following Jamie's every move. He watched as Jamie wrapped an arm around Lizzie's waist, pulling her towards the main building. Eyes wide, he jumped away from Candice and ran after them. "Hey, hey, Liz!"
The younger teenagers turned around, looking at him curiously. "Yeah, Derek?"
He ran a hand through his hair awkwardly, trying to come up with an excuse to separate them. He turned to Jamie. "Hey, let's switch partners for a few holes. Let me play with Lizzie and you go over there and play with…umm…" He pointed helplessly towards his date, stuttering.
"Candice?"
"Yeah, Candice! Go play with her, Jamie."
The boy smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around Lizzie. "No thanks, I'm having fun playing right here."
Derek scowled. "All right, Lizzie," he started, grabbed her by the arm and pulling her away from Jamie, "you go play with What's-her-name."
"Candice." Lizzie finished, aggravated, her arms folded across her chest.
"Derek?" Candice asked, coming up beside them.
He smiled at her. "Oh, did you get another one? Awesome, maybe you can show Lizzie a few tips." He pushed Lizzie closer to Candice and turned to face Jamie. "Okay listen up, kid." He walked directly up to the boy, putting an arm around his shoulder. "I think it's time we had a little chat…"
"Derek, what are you doing?"
"Yeah, Derek, whatare you doing?"
The two males turned around to face their dates, Derek looking rather guilty. He patted Jamie on the shoulder. "Oh, you know, just some guy-boy bonding time. That's all."
"Do you have some problem with me, Derek?" Jamie asked, stepping away from the older teenager.
Candice frowned. "No, Jamie, it's not you. I think Derek just has something called a double standard. Right, Derek?"
Derek grimaced. "Whose side are you on?" He whispered to her bitterly.
"Derek, I would really just like to get on with our date." She responded, linking him by the arm and attempting to pull him away from the younger couple. He didn't budge, however.
"I thought we were all having a good time." Jamie said softly, towards Lizzie. She smiled apologetically.
"Oh no, don't give me that!" Derek shouted suddenly, getting in Jamie's face. "I know that innocent boy routine. I came up with the innocent boy routine!"
"Relax, Derek." Lizzie said through gritted teeth. "We're just trying to have fun."
Derek scoffed. "Does this look like a place to have fun?" He yelled, looking around the golf course. "Oh, no. There will be no fun had by anyone here tonight. Not me, not you, and especially not you." He finished, pointing the end of his club at his stepsister for emphasis.
"Apparently, not me, either." Candice said behind him. He groaned in frustration. Honestly, he was just trying to do the right thing here, why was it blowing up on him? This is why he didn't get involved. He watched as his date stalked away from him.
"Derek, shouldn't you go after her?" Lizzie asked, watching Candice walk away.
"I think I have more important things to tend to." He said, eyes glaring at Jamie.
Lizzie grumbled quietly. "Jamie, I'm so sorry things have turned out this way."
The boy looked at her skeptically, then smiled. "I think I'm going to go call my mom to pick me up." He said, walking in the direction Candice went.
"Jamie, wait!"
"No, no. Let him go, Liz. It's better this way." Derek held her by the shoulders, forcing her to stay behind.
Upset, Lizzie jerked out of his grasp and whirled to face him. "Derek, how could you do that to me?"
The boy swallowed nervously, fearful of an angry Lizzie. Feeling slightly taken aback at her outburst, he stepped away from her. "Liz, I'm doing it for your own good. When you're older, and wiser, you'll understand." He attempted to put a hand back on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off angrily.
"You're worse than my mom!" She shouted, heading the same way as Candice and Jamie.
Derek followed her, but when he got to the game room, lost her in the crowd. He looked around for a good twenty minutes before finally heading to the front of the building and sitting on a bench outside. He looked towards his car, seeing a familiar figure leaning against the hood. Sighing, he went over by the car and stood next to her. They stood in silence for a few moments, Lizzie with her arms folded bitterly staring at the ground and Derek shuffling his feet through the gravel parking lot.
"Couldn't find Jamie in there?" He asked softly.
"No, but how could I face him after the way you treated him?" He flinched and instantly felt a pang of guilt in his chest. "Why is everyone treating me like I'm some defenseless little girl? You, my mom, my sister…"
"Because you are, Liz."
"No, Derek!" She yelled angrily. "I'm almost fifteen. Casey was never treated this way, and no one has any right to do it to me! Especially you."
"I'm just looking out for you."
"I can look out for myself, Derek! I don't need you."
"Oh, come on, be reasonable." He said, feeling slightly agitated. "I saw Jamie. He was all over you like cheese on a Big Mac. Who knows what else he would've done?"
"Maybe I like cheese!" She yelled again, louder this time, facing him. Derek's eyebrows shot up and he looked at her shocked. Surely not Lizzie, little innocent Lizzie, would be into that kind of stuff this early in her life.
"How do you know you like something you've never had?" He asked softly, still in shock by her outburst. "Lizzie, please tell me you've never..."
She looked at him crossly. "No, but if I wanted to, I wouldn't need your approval. Or my mother's or my sister's. It's none of your business!"
He shook his head, unwilling to think of Lizzie in that way. They'd lived together for three years and, though he didn't think he'd ever admit it out loud, he couldn't imagine his life with out having her around. She was almost like Marti to him – his own flesh and blood – and he was just trying to be a good older brother.
"You bring home a different girl every week, and the reason is because you're Derek; it's just what you do. Casey cooks dinner for Max, even though the entire family knows what he's after, and she doesn't get so much of a second glance. Edwin stays up all night making a girl he hardly knows a Valentine's Day card and no one says a thing. But when poor, helpless Lizzie wants some alone time with her boyfriend of over a year, all of a sudden it's a big deal! It's not fair!"
Derek swore that he saw her eyes begin to get glassy and he almost panicked. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him, momentarily forgetting his rule about not hugging.
"You're right, Liz. I'm sorry for ruining your date." Lizzie looked up at him, as if waiting for him to continue. "And for treating you like a ten year old. I guess my protective older brother hormones kicked in when I saw you two together like that. Forgive me?"
Finally, she put her arms around Derek's waist, returning the hug. "Yeah, I guess I can forgive you. As long as you promise to never drive me and my dates anywhere ever again."
He laughed. "Promise."
About an hour later, the stepsiblings found themselves arriving to a seemingly empty house. Lizzie went to the kitchen for a late snack and Derek hustled upstairs with the intention of calling Candice to try and straighten things out.
Lizzie had almost finished her apple and was about to turn the television off to go to bed when the doorbell rang. She glanced at the clock, curious as to who it could be so late in the night. She was completely shocked when she opened the door.
"Jamie, what are you doing here?"
He shrugged nonchalantly. "Derek called me and explained things. He apologized and gave me his blessing, whatever that means." He laughed half-heartedly and gestured to the car sitting in the driveway. "He even convinced my mom to drive me over here to see you. Something about it being for the sake of Saint Valentine."
She literally had to resist the urge to run upstairs and hug Derek again. It was quite possibly the nicest thing he'd ever done for her.
"Sorry for leaving you there." Jamie said when Lizzie didn't speak up. "It was pretty rude."
It was Jamie's turn to be surprised when she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. It quickly, and awkwardly, got deeper, and eventually the two teenagers pulled apart, grinning at each other.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Jamie." Lizzie whispered softly, watching as he backed up slowly.
"Happy Valentine's Day. Good night." He had a hard time hiding the grin, which had formed on his face as he walked back towards his mother's car.
Promptly, Lizzie shut the door and squealed softly, before heading up the stairs to her bedroom.
Sometime after this, Derek walked down the hall in his pajamas, heading towards the bathroom. He wasn't surprised when he saw Casey standing in there already. It was a bit unusual that she seemed upset. He shrugged it off, however, already having had an eventful night as it was. She flossed and he brushed his teeth in silence.
When she was done, she exited the room, only to reenter it a few seconds later. She stood between the door and the hallway.
"Thanks for what you did for Lizzie tonight. It was really…" She swallowed, as if she couldn't believe the words were about to come out of her mouth. "It was very sweet of you."
"No big." He said, acting like it was an everyday occurrence. "Just looking out for her."
Casey nodded and turned to leave once more. But Derek stopped her.
"How was dinner, Princess?"
The fact that she stopped, but didn't turn around, when he asked should have been enough to tip him off, but when he could actually visibly see her tense up, he knew something was incredibly wrong.
"Case?"
"It was a disaster." She answered, her voice cracking slightly. She still hadn't turned around. "He didn't come over for dinner."
Derek gulped, not really knowing what to say. As Lizzie had already pointed out a few times that evening, it seemed like everyone but Casey knew Max's agenda. She apparently was just as vulnerable to him as she had been during Grade Eleven. It was a shame, really.
She turned to face him then, her face set with a stern look. "But it's okay, I don't need the 'I told you so' speech, especially from you. I've heard it enough for one night, thanks."
"You deserve better." Derek blurted, suddenly, effectively making Casey's eyes go wide. He looked away from her, focusing more on his reflection on the mirror in front of him. "Much, much better…"
She didn't speak. He assumed she was shocked into silence. He couldn't blame her, really; he was even surprised the words had come out. Determined to get out of the bathroom and be away from her, he pushed himself off of the sink he was leaning against and moved to exit the room.
"A princess like you needs a prince…" He whispered as he pushed past her.
Casey was left alone in the hallway as he shut the door to his room. She debated following him and demanding to know what exactly that outburst was about. Soon, she decided against it, feeling as though his night had been dramatic enough already.
She'd just have to wait a few hours until tomorrow morning. Then she'd get it out of him.
I apologize if that ending seemed a bit rushed. I was getting sleepy.
Oh, and the Big Mac/Cheese analogy Derek used is straight from the episode itself. I thought it was funny, so I put it in here.
I hope you enjoyed it. Review if you did.