Title: To Make A Million Category: Comics » Calvin & Hobbes Author: Bright Morning Star Language: English, Rating: Rated: K+ Genre: Adventure/Humor Published: 01-20-08, Updated: 04-12-08 Chapters: 6, Words: 16,655

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

"To make a million"

By Bright Morning Star

Disclaimer: I don't take credit for creating Calvin or Hobbes; they and their family were the brainchild of the brilliant mind of Bill Watterson. All due credit goes to him alone for creating everything and everyone else in the printed comics this work is based on. I humbly admit to 'standing on the shoulders of a giant' in creating this fanfiction.

Chapter One

"Copper pennies and comic books"

Picture if you will a two-story house in a quiet American suburb on a beautiful June morning. Birds singing their sweet songs, flowers and trees in full bloom, late-model cars driving at reasonable speeds on the roads.

Now picture a boy in that house. A young boy in a striped t-shirt and short jeans, about six years old. He's up in his bedroom with his favorite stuffed tiger at his side, engaged in a favorite activity...counting his money.

This, dear reader, is where it all begins.

"Seventy-one, seventy-two, seventy-three, seventy-four...seventy-five. And that's all."

Calvin looked at the coins in his hand and moaned pitifully. "One dollar and seventy-five lousy cents. That's everything in my piggy bank and from under the mattress."

With a sigh he rested his head on one hand. Earlier that morning he'd started gathering up his limited funds to go buy a comic book, the latest issue of Nuke-Man. But the good comic books at the local gas station cost $2.50 after taxes. He was all of seventy-five cents short, a princely sum for a young boy. To make matters worse, his allowance didn't come until the end of the week. And the comics he wanted would be long gone by then.

"Oh mannn...what am I gonna do?" Calvin whined.

His tiger friend looked nonchalantly at him. "Do about what?"

"My money, Hobbes!"

Hobbes regarded the meager pile of money strewn on the bed sheet. "Let me guess - you 'need' a new comic book?"

"Yes! But that's all the money I have in the world!" Calvin started ticking off points on his fingers. "I emptied my piggy bank, checked all my pockets, looked under the mattress, and looked on my dresser. There isn't another penny to be found. Heck, most of that seventy-five cents is pennies."

"Might I suggest a simple course of action?"

"What?"

"Earn more."

This suggestion earned a massive eye-rolling in reply. "Thank you Captain Obvious. How? Selling lemonade?"

"That's an idea."

Calvin glared daggers for a second before snapping back, "Mom said after the last time we had to buy everything for a lemonade stand ourselves, hairball-breath. And she meant everything. But I don't even have enough to even buy that nasty powdered lemonade. Never mind stuff like cups or ice."

"Perhaps you could wash the car?"

"Dad took it through the carwash yesterday."

"Oh. Yes. Well, how about pick up sticks in the yard or help mom in her garden?"

"I did that last week. Mom said she'd swat my bare butt with a thistle stem if I messed with her flowers again."

Hobbes raised an eyebrow. "Heavens! When on earth did she say that?"

"Umm...remember the time I tried to make a parachute?"

"Make a parachute..." suddenly Hobbes remembered. "Ah yes. The little incident with your blanket and the bedroom window. If memory serves you came down right on her best roses - and none too gently at that."

"Yeah." Calvin rubbed his backside. "A 'bed of roses' isn't so good as it's cracked up to be. For sure not when you fall on it from twenty feet. But back to the money..."

His tiger friend sighed. "For pity's sake, must you get this comic book so soon?"

"Hobbes! If I don't get to the store by Thursday - at the latest - all the good ones will be gone! All that'll be left will be those cheap pulp books!"

"So? It's a comic book, not a collectible gold coin."

"But comics are collectible! Didn't that guy sell a first-issue Batman for some crazy price just last month? Remember the newspaper story? 'Old comic makes thousands for local man'? If I collect all the Captain Napalm comics ever and keep them in mint condition, I could get rich someday for only spending $2.50!"

Hobbes sighed. That boy is going to be fresh meat for a get-rich-quick scheme someday..."All right already. If this is so vitally important, how can I help?"

"For starters, you can not be a smart-aleck. When you've got that down, think of something useful I can do for some cold hard cash. I'm all out of ideas."

"How about raking leaves? Or mowing lawns?"

"It isn't fall yet. And it would take forever to mow even one lawn with that clunky old push mower."

"Then go find something valuable?"

"Tried that. Checked for coins in both phone booths on our block and all the video games down at Tilt."

"I meant as in digging something up - like a pirate's treasure chest."

"Get real! We're at least a thousand miles from the ocean."

"Old west bandits maybe?"

"Anything they buried has been built over by skyscrapers or pavement by now."

"Hmm. This isn't going to be easy." The big tiger stroked his chin for a minute. Suddenly his face lit up. "You know - this sounds like a job for Stupendous Man!"

Calvin shot a withering glance at him. "Were you last in line when they were handing out brains?"

"No," shot back Hobbes, "were you?"

"Shut up. Stupendous Man saves people from evil and catches dangerous criminals - can you imagine how humiliating it would be if he flew up to someone and asked 'hey chum, spare fifty cents for a poor superhero?' "

"Touch-ee! It was just a suggestion."

"Well, suggestion or not, I'm still short fifty cents."

By now Hobbes's patience was wearing thin. "Then why don't you go invent something, have dad help you patent it, and get filthy rich."

"Now there's a useful idea. Except...what could I invent?"

"You invented that transmogrifier. That was pretty good, being able to turn someone into any animal you wanted!"

"Hmph. Remember what we found out about that?"

"Not really."

Calvin let out an exaggerated sigh. "It could turn you into anything, but never make you any bigger than you were in the first place. And who'd want to turn into an animal, anyway?"

"You did."

"Yeah, well, that was different. I wanted to be a tiger to know what you felt like. Who else has a talking tiger for a friend?"

"Point. But what about the transmogrifier gun?"

"I haven't been able to get it working again since we broke it."

Hobbes shrugged. "So pull out your duplicator. That still works."

"Worked. I learned my lesson the last time I duplicated myself. Geez, was that ever a mess! I shredded it with dad's box cutter and threw the pieces away."

By now Hobbes had become exasperated. "Then go invent something new and amazing! But don't just sit around here pestering me!"

"Like what? I don't know enough science or math to invent anything that's worth anything."

"Do you need to?"

Although his friend meant it in jest, Calvin missed the sarcasm. "Heck yes! All the simple stuff has already been invented Hobbes - you can only 'discover' making fire and safety pins and nail clippers once." In frustration Calvin threw up his hands. "I need something big, something really amazing...like something from a comic book or ...like...like..." suddenly the young boy went silent. A thoughtful look gradually spread across his face.

Hobbes sat up. "Like what?"

"Something...from the future." Slowly a wide grin spread over Calvin's face. "I need to invent something super-cool from the future!"

"Whaaat? Now wait a minute - "

"C'mon, Hobbes! I figured out the answer!" With a bound Calvin threw open the door and ran out.

Oh dear. What in heaven's name can he be thinking of now? Hobbes stayed on the bedside for a second, debating wether or not to follow him. In the end his curiosity and sense of loyalty won out. He jumped to the floor and walked, upright, after Calvin.