"I am the universal Guardian of Free Love, and what I have seen between you two moves me! I grant upon thee my blessing, and with it, the protection of your bond, so that your eternal love for one another may never be broken! Now," The strange blond man proclaimed, pointing enthusiastically at Yukito and Touya. "I command you two to make out!"
It was with this statement that Touya decided that, without a doubt, he absolutely hated Sakura's new friends.
Although he supposed he didn't hate The Sakura Who Was Clearly Not His Sister And Yet Somehow Quite Undeniably Still Sakura, but that was for obvious reasons, as Touya was incapable of hating his sister, even when she wasn't really his sister.
There was also The Brat Who Wasn't Actually The Brat, who was just as easy to tell apart as the two Sakura's based, oddly enough, not on the difference in age or height, but rather because he, for some reason, didn't actually hate this one, and therefore wasn't filled with blinding rage at the presence of.
And the tall, dark, and angry one wasn't so bad, if only because he seemed like he would be willing to give his life to protect either Sakura (even if only because he couldn't always quite tell which one he was actually supposed to), and that was always a plus in Touya's book. It was in fact, by reason of that quality alone that the brat hadn't had his throat slit with a set of car keys. Yet.
This one, however…
"Well? I'm waiting, Loverboys!" The thin man declared, leaning over them in a way that was more fruity than threatening.
"Get out of my house before I throw you out the window."
"Ooh, scary! Perhaps you two need more privacy to consummate your love? That's sweet, but as the Guardian of Free Love I need to witness the consummation to complete my blessing! So-"
It was, thankfully, at this point that the door slammed open to reveal a very angry man. "THERE you are! I've been looking for you everywhere you stupid son of a bitch! What the hell have you been doing?"
"Wai, you're so mean, Kuro-pyon! I've only been spreading love to those in need! I've been doing good deeds, you see?"
"Good deeds my ass, all you've been doing is being a nuisance and worrying the princess and the brat. Both freakin' sets of 'em!"
Touya watched the two banter, both relieved that the blond one had stopped making Yukito uncomfortable and simultaneously annoyed that it was even happening in the first place.
"Ne, but Kuro-buu, I don't wanna leave yet! Just tell Sakura-chan, Sakura-kun, Syaoran-kun and Syaoran-chan I'm playing with Sakura-kun's big brother so they won't worry, okay?"
"You know I'm not adverse to picking you up and carrying you out of here, right?"
"Ooh, Kuro-sama's so manly! Are you gonna throw me over those big, broad shoulders of yours and carry me away so that you can have your way with me?"
"No, I'm planning on picking you up, carrying you out of here, throwing you in a supply closet and locking you in there where you can't do any more damage to the minds of the young until we're ready to leave."
"In a closet, Kuro-wan? I never knew you were so kinky!"
The large man rolled his eyes. "Yes, me breaking your legs to prevent you from escaping is very kinky. We're leaving."
And the dark man whose name escaped Touya did good on his word, throwing the skinny blond over his shoulder and walking out the door, nodding to the two as he left while the hyperactive man on his shoulder enthusiasticly waved them goodbye.
"Bye, boys! Try not to have too much fun, now!" he exclaimed with a wink before the door slammed behind them.
Touya and Yukito stared at the closed door, still in a bit of shock at whatever it was that had just transpired.
Yukito turned to him with his usual pleasant but slightly vacant smile, "Well, that was interesting."
Touya, in an incredible display of self-control, did not then proceed to slam his head against the wall until he was unconcious.