This one, goes out to my Matt. She doesn't care that I smoke even though she doesn't approve. But I'm quitting for her. Because I love her.

For Tara

His lips curved around the end of the cigarette, sucking on the filter, eating away are the paper cylinder that encased the dried tobacco. God, he was gorgeous when he smoked. The way that smoke left his nostrils and escaped from his mouth, it was arousing. But, he needed to stop. It was bad for him.

Fighting from allowing myself to relish in that image of him, blowing the smoke out. I reach forward, and snatch the cigarette.

"Mello." I say, pouting, holding the cigarette between my fingers. He raises an eyebrow at me, shocked that I stole the nicotine fixation he was holding. "You've got to stop this."

He smiles, raises an arm and places his hand on my cheek. "I'll try." He says to me, delicately touching my cheek, causing me to blush.

It doesn't bother me that he smokes. But I worry about his health too much.

I think it might be a release for him. To cope with the burn.

Something about the heat and smoke and the smell of something burning…I think it calms him down. Reminds him that the burn on his face isn't the worst that could have happened.

He could have died.

Mello's hand lingers on my cheek, then, so do his lips. He tastes like ash. Not just his lips. His whole mouth.

Our mouths open wide, his tongue is jamming itself in my throat like I'm so accustomed to with another part of his body. I moan. I can taste the menthol. I can taste the smoke. I can taste the nicotine.

I'm going to get addicted.

To him that is.

Wait.

I already am.

Mello's hand removes itself from my face, it goes down to my hands. He lowers me down on to the couch we're sitting on. Mello breaks away, and I'm looking up at him from behind vermillion tinted goggles.

I can still taste the smoke.

It's not as minty as I had thought it would be.

Menthol sucks.

Mello's smiling at me. His fingers are twisting themselves with mine. He's almost sitting on my crotch. I really don't want to get hard right now. I'm too tired to get fucked.

"I'll quit." He says, leaning down, kisses me again. He tries to dominate the kiss. I fight back and gently begin to suck on his tongue, tasting the smoke that's collected on him. His mouth feels dry. I'm just moistening it up. Mello moans. I graze my incisors against his tongue. He moans again, and he's trying to slide his tongue deep inside my mouth, but I don't want any more of that nicotine in my mouth.

But Mello's an addiction as it is. I want him more than I give off.

I release my teeth from his tongue.

He pins me down roughly to the couch.

Our mouths separate momentarily.

He glances at me. He's smiling.

"I love you, Matt."

Mello gives me another light kiss, and sits up, removing his hands from my wrists. We both sit on the couch for a moment or two, unmoving.

But then, I sit up, and slide over to him. I wrap my arms around his waist, and rest my head on his shoulder. He tilts his head so it's resting on mine.

And he takes my hand. And he entwines our fingers together. We sit there, and we smile. Nothing more.

It's nice.

Mello kisses my head. "I mean it, Matt." He says. "I really do love you."

I look up at him from under my goggles. I like hearing that.

Mello's hand leaves mine, and he pulls from me, standing up. He reaches into his pocket and pulls our a pack of Marlboro menthols. He smiles, and tosses the carton to me.

"Throw those out for me." He orders, walking away. "I won't be able to." He leaves the room, leaving me on the couch.

The carton of cigarettes is sitting on my lap. I open it, and count the cigarettes. There's twelve in the box.

I reach in, and slide one out, and place it between my lips.

I inhale, even though it's not lit.

And I can taste the menthol.

I crane my neck a bit, looking to see where Mello ventured off to.

And I wonder.

Should I ask him for a lighter?