Chapter One

Rude was mildly alarmed to enter the office and find Reno lying on the floor, weeping, at nine o'clock on a Monday morning. Observing his friend, unnoticed, he speculated on what might be wrong with him. Maybe he was still drunk? That was a definite possibility. Weekends were an excuse for Reno to drink, uninterrupted, for two days straight. It was not unheard of for him to still be a little buzzed on a Wednesday. But then... Hmm, why would he be in the office at nine o'clock on a Monday morning if he had had such a wild weekend. Okay then. Perhaps karma had bitten him on the ass and one of his many conquests had called him to inform him that there would be, ahem, lasting consequences from their tryst. But he quickly discounted that one. Reno would never give a girl his number.

'Hey partner.'

A gurgled moan was his reply.

'You okay?'

'Ngh.'

Rude took a seat at his desk, switching his computer on. 'Good weekend?'

'NO!' Reno shouted, face obscured by his scarlet hair.

'What's wrong, buddy?' Rude asked him, patiently.

A stream of incoherent babble was emitted. Rude listened carefully, picking up rather a lot of it, so well versed was he in the bullshit that Reno sometimes came out with. 'Her! Him! Seventh Heaven! Guh! Thought... Asshole! Grr. Why me? Ugh.'

'You saw Elena and Tseng together, huh?' Rude sighed, feeling sorry for his partner. His love for Elena was doomed, mainly because there was no way any sane woman would finish with the cultured, mature and sober Tseng, for the childish, slightly ignorant and usually drunk Reno?

'Yes.' Reno's voice was small and childish sounding. Rude may actually have felt sorry for him, if he hadn't had to listen to him whining about her for the last year or so.

'Sorry,' said Rude.

Reno sat up. His suit was rumpled, and looked as though it hadn't been washed, let alone encountered an iron. Pretty normal, then.

He sighed, dragging himself to his desk, where he promptly smacked his head against the hard wood.

Rude was not unduly concerned by this. Reno had a thick head. However, after a particularly enthusiastic whack, he felt he should step in, visions of the desk splitting in two dancing into his mind.

'They still seem pretty solid then?'

Reno raised his head. 'Yeah,' he said, glumly. 'Tseng was even smiling a little.'

Rude winced. 'Shit. Sorry.'

'I don't get it!' Reno sat up, very straight. 'Why would she choose him over me?!'

Rude didn't particularly want to answer that one honestly, so he decided to be kind. 'To be fair, she has no idea you're in love with her, so it's not like she chose him over you.'

Reno seemed to consider this. 'Hmm. You're right.'

A twinkle had enterd his partner's eye that Rude was not very happy about. He backpedaled, hastily. 'But, uh, she liked Tseng a long time before they actually started dating. So, you know, in a way she did.'

Reno didn't seem to hear this. 'I wonder what choice she would have made if she knew I loved her.'

Oh, shit. 'Well, I guess you'll never know. Maybe you should find someone else?' he suggested, trying to steer the conversation from the risky territory it had entered.

His partner's selective hearing seemed to have come into effect. 'You know, Rude. You're a genius. Is that why you don't say much? Scared you'll make the rest of us feel dumb?'

I wouldn't have to try too hard, thought Rude. Aloud, he said 'You know, Reno, I can see what you're thinking. And as a genius, I gotta say, it's not gonna work.'

Reno blinked, innocently. 'What's not gonna work?'

'You can't split those two up. Work is bad enough as it is with Tseng in a good mood.'

Reno actually seemed to think about this for a moment. Rude could practically see the argument that common sense and lust were having in his brain. Sadly, common sense was doomed from the start, being that he was half the size of lust.

'But.. Elena's gorgeous, man,' said Reno, pouting pathetically.

'If you break them up, Tseng will kill you,' Rude warned him.

It was too late. Reno had his scheming face on. 'Not if he wanted to break up with her!' He sprang to his feet suddenly, rushing to Rude and kissing him. 'That shiny bald head of yours is a gold mine! Thanks!' He disappeared out the door, whistling cheerfully.