It seems whenever an author -or director- needs to keep Donnie busy, they sit him down with a toaster.

I do not own the TMNT, I don't even have a toaster.


Toasters


Kit walked into Donnie's lab holding the TV remote. Donatello sat at his desk with a screwdriver in one hand and a tool the size of a shell cell in the other. Kit wasn't sure what it was for; she was still congratulating herself on recognizing the screwdriver. Donnie was diligently working on the metallic innards of a toaster.

"Um…Donnie?"

"Not right now! I am going to fix this thing even if I have to forge new parts from scrap metal to do it!" His voice was filled with such venom that Kit actually took a step back. "I will collect titanium alloys and raid NASA research labs across the country for state-of-the-art circuitry that is designed never to fry, melt, bend, break, or lose conductivity under the most extreme circumstances and I will design the perfect heating implement for sliced bread! I'm sure Bishop had some alien technology sequestered somewhere in area fifty-one that would serve nicely."

"Um…Donnie?"

"What!?" Don looked at her with nearly crazed, bloodshot eyes that almost made Kit turn and run. He saw the remote in her hands, "Great, did Mikey sit on it again? Or did Raph throw it through the television when his team lost? Or maybe Leo decided that the best way to change the channel was to push the buttons with his katana!" Kit was sure she didn't imagine the spasm of Donnie's left lower eyelid under his mask.

"Um, you said you wanted to see that documentary, the one on the development of modern helicopters?" Kit gently placed the remote on Donnie's work bench, as though she expected either the remote, the bench, or more likely Donnie, to explode if she jostled them too much. "Maybe after it's over you should consider a nap?"

Donnie relaxed as her words sunk in, "Oh, the documentary. Thanks." He dropped the tools and picked up the remote before jogging over to the couch looking more like his normal, cheerful self.

Still feeling scared, Kit moved over to the Dojo where Leonardo was running Mikey through the last of a kata that Master Splinter insisted he practice on.

"All right. Good Mikey, a few more times and I think you'll be starting to get it." Michelangelo groaned before he saw Kit standing behind his own personal slave driver.

"Kit! Hi!" Mikey called excitedly, hoping to distract Leo.

Leo turned. Seeing the remnants of fear on her face and in her body posture he said, "Hey, what's up?"

"Um." Kit said again, "Does Donnie often get like that when he's working?"

Leo and Mikey looked over to where Donnie could be seen sitting on the couch, relaxed and enjoying his show. "Like what?"

"Mildly psychotic. He was talking about breaking into NASA and stealing parts from Bishop."

"Oh that." Mikey shrugged.

"He's working on a toaster again, isn't he?" Leo glanced at his brother again.

"Yeah." Kit confirmed.

Leo nodded, understanding. "The toasters here are jinxed and I think it's beginning to wear on Donnie's sanity a little."

Kit stared at Leo like his brain had fallen out and she now needed to speak to him like a small turtle-child, "Jinxed?"

Leo and Mikey nodded, "It's like toasters around Donnie can't help but stop working." Mikey said wisely.

"That," Kit said, "is the biggest load of bull crap, malarkey, bologna or whatever that I have ever heard!"

Raph came up behind Kit, "It's true." He insisted, he had been tenderizing the punching bag on the other side of the dojo and had heard the entire conversation. "Toasters around here are jinxed. It started when we was little and it only seems to get worse."

"Oh, not you too! Raph! Mikey! Leo! Get your heads out of your shells for a minute! The toasters are no more 'jinxed' than Casey's shell cell!" Casey used to have a regular cell phone, but through circumstances similar to the mysterious malfunctioning toasters the phone had required so many repairs that it could no longer be honestly called anything but a shell cell.

"See, that caveman is jinxed just like the toasters!" Raphael insisted. Kit smacked her forehead before letting her hand slowly drag down over her face. No wonder Donnie was acting so strangely, living with these guys could throw anyone around the bend.

"If something is jinxed it implies supernatural means, guys. Believe me, the toasters and everything Casey touches break by completely natural methods." Yee gads, Kit was beginning to sound like Donnie. "For example!" Kit interrupted before Mikey could say anything, "Said current toaster that is apparently responsible for your brother's scary behavior. It did not break because of a jinx, it broke because Mikey wanted to see if he could make fried ice-cream in it. Mikey, anyone could have told you that wouldn't work." Mikey shrugged.

"The time before that it broke -again, not because of a jinx- but because Raph couldn't get the toast out with a fork, which he's not supposed to do anyway, and then proceeded to whale on the thing; resulting in a broken toaster and a burned Raph." Mikey snickered and Raph glared at him with the force of a thousand death threats, "Do you follow me so far?" The three turtles nodded. "Very good."

"Now, the time before that Mikey managed to get his hand stuck in the bread slot and Donnie had to take the toaster completely apart to free him, that wasn't a jinx either. That was Mikey hiding the camera's memory card in the toaster, yet another thing that isn't supposed to be in the toaster." It was Raph's turn to snicker. "The time before that it was Casey's shell cell in the toaster, and before that the turkey Leo put in it caught fire. The game of soccer with the toaster didn't help either. Now, are those enough examples or do I have to start on last week?"

"'Nuff said." "I'm good." "I think we got the point."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it." Kit shook her head and went to try and find some trace of sanity in her room.

After they were sure that Kit was out of earshot the brothers turned to each other. "Any idea what she was trying to say?" Raph asked.

"Not really." Leo confessed. Mikey shrugged. "Speaking of your burns; Raph, are you still using that cream Donnie gave you?"

"Stop nagging on me Leo, I'm fine!" Leonardo was about to reply when the stone doors of the elevator slid open and April and Casey came through. Each of them were carrying a box and each of them were blushing profusely, as tended to happen when they were alone with each other for any length of time.

"April!" Mikey ran over and hugged April, glad for yet another thing to distract Leo from Mikey's assigned Kata. "Oh, hi, uh… wait don't tell me… you're the guy in the hockey mask right? OW!"

Raph smacked his brother over the head before punching Casey in the arm, his idea of a heartfelt greeting. Leo was greeting their guests warmly when Donnie and Kit joined them to see what had brought their friends down for a visit on a weekday.

"Well, um, Donnie I'd hate to impose but I wanted to ask a favor." April said, hesitantly.

"Well what do ya' know, me too! Don you think you could help a guy out?" Casey grinned.

Donnie shrugged, "Anything I can do to help you guys you know I'd be glad to."

"Great, thanks Donnie!"

"Yeah, thanks!" The two humans went over to the table and put their boxes on it, then pulled out the items they wanted repaired.

"When you can get around to it of course." April's pretty smile had distracted the turtles, but the sound of a paw smacking into a furry forehead brought their attention back to Kit and then over to the table.

"It's the jinx!" Mikey shouted, pointing at the toasters like the cursed items he believed them to be.

"This is impossible!" Kit growled.

Donnie's eye twitched, but he quickly composed himself and started for the door.

"Hey Donnie, where ya goin'?" Casey called.

"Nevada." Donnie said dryly, "I think I'll go pay Bishop a friendly visit. Then I'll go to Florida and check out NASA. After that I think I'll go to the Pentagon and see what they're working on there…"