Fake Out

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor ever will, Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters within.

Chapter 1: Impressions and Ideas

Major Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist, was sitting at Colonel Mustang's desk and finishing off a report. His scrawling penmanship already filled four pages and he was halfway through the fifth.

"Hey Boss, still here?"

He looked up and saw Second Lieutenant Havoc entering the office. The tall thin blond man grinned at him as he came over and perched on the corner of the large desk.

"Yeah, still here." Ed sighed slightly, tossing his pen down and leaning back in the Colonel's very comfortable chair.

"He'll have your hide if he catches you in his chair." Havoc warned.

"The bastard said I had to stay and finish, he didn't specify where I had to sit." Ed replied with a smirk. "Besides you're the one he was frowning at earlier. I bet you get 'gofer' tomorrow."

Havoc groaned. "He always frowns at me lately."

"That's because he's jealous." Ed pronounced matter-of-factly and was surprised when Havoc fell off the desk, hysterical laughter bursting out of him as he hit the floor. Ed stood up and moved around to watch, as Havoc went red, his eyes tearing as he kept on laughing.

Ed stared, his eyes wide. He hadn't expected this reaction at all and he hunkered down to grab Havoc's shoulders and shake him. He shook him vigorously and only stopped when Havoc bit his own tongue.

"Enough, Ed, enough already." Havoc mumbled around his fingers as he poked them into his mouth to feel the mistreated organ.

"What was so funny?" Ed asked as he sat back on his heels.

"The Chief being jealous of me? Oh come on Ed that has to be the funniest thing I have ever heard of."

"What's so funny about it?"

"What do I have that he doesn't, huh? He steals my girlfriends, he gets women falling at his feet with every breath he takes and he's the friggin' Flame Alchemist, Hero of Ishbal and Saviour of Central."

"You know he hates that title," Ed pointed out.

"I know, but it's still part of the whole package." Havoc retaliated. "There's nothing anyone has that he's jealous for."

"You have Hawkeye." Ed said and Havoc's blue eyes went wide and stared at the younger blond.

"Wha…?" Havoc blinked and stared and then blinked and stared again, his mind completely frozen in shock.

"You have Hawkeye." Ed shrugged as he repeated it. "You've been spending a lot time together lately."

"We've been talking about an up-coming marksmanship event." Havoc said in a blank voice.

"Really?" Ed blinked and bluntly added. "It looked a lot more serious than that."

"But…but…" Havoc began to shake slightly. "Every one knows that those two are together."

"I didn't know that." Edward said calmly. "I mean, they never go out together or seem to discuss anything but work. They don't do anything couples do."

"Ok, so maybe it's not an actual relationship at the moment. But that doesn't mean that it's not meant to be. I mean everyone knows that the Chief just plays around to cover up how he feels about her."

"Why?" Ed tilted his head and Havoc straightened up to sit cross-legged in front of the other blond. He shrugged.

"No-one knows why. It's just one of those things. Like why does the sun come up every day?" And Havoc put up his hand and pointed at Edward who had just opened his mouth. "Don't say anything. I was just using it as an example. The point is the sun comes up whether you know why or not. The Chief and Hawkeye are meant to be together in exactly the same way."

"So, then why don't they do something about it?" Ed asked frowning slightly as he tried to understand.

"I guess they just don't feel the need to do anything about it."

"Or maybe they're too used to this way of things and can't do anything." Edward contemplated. "Maybe they just need a push."

"Oh, and you're going to do that?"

Havoc laughed but it faded as he realised Edward wasn't joining in. He looked at the young man. Ed was frowning thoughtfully and there was a small gleam in his eyes.

"Ed…" Havoc said, unsure if he wanted to say the words out loud. "You're not. Are you?"

The golden eyes grew brighter and Havoc groaned.

"It wouldn't be hard, Havoc. I mean, he's already frowning at you." Ed said easily. "Just keep on doing what you're doing and I think it'd happen all by itself."

"Ed, I'm not getting involved in this." Havoc frowned.

"You're already involved. You don't even have to do anything extra."

"The competition is next week. After that things'll go back to normal."

"Talk about dogs then. I know you like them and we all know Hawkeye does."

"Why? Why do this at all?"

Edward grinned. "Can't you just see it, Havoc? She has him so whipped when it comes to the office, can you imagine what it'd be like if she could do that to him with everything?"

"Ed, that's… that's…" Havoc stopped, his mind caught up in the images of the Colonel at the complete mercy of the female sharpshooter.

"He'd never steal another girlfriend from you again." Ed coaxed the older blond.

Havoc's blue eyes began to shine at that statement and his face split into a wide grin. His mind whirled around.

"You're right, we don't even really need to do anything at all." Havoc said and then he groaned. "I'm going to be gofer for the rest of my life."

Ed laughed. "I'll give you a hand. I get bored just sitting here all day."

"I need a drink," Havoc commented and stood up reaching a hand down to haul Ed up as well.

"You go. I still have to finish this."

"How much longer?"

"I'm on the last page."

"I'll wait and we can go for a drink together."

"Uh, not for me." Edward said as he sat back at the Colonel's desk and picked up his pen.

Havoc laughed. "One drink is not going to set you off, Boss."

"That's what you told me last time." Ed replied with an embarrassed growl and Havoc grinned.

"And it wasn't one drink that caused you to …ah… behave like that, it was the other dozen you had."

"No-one is going to let me forget that night." Ed grumbled and tried to concentrate on his report while Havoc's grin got wider.

"Hell no. That was one of the best nights of my life."

Ed groaned and he dropped his head to the desk.

"You really are a good kisser, Boss."

Edward stood and clapped, Havoc shouted as the desk grabbed at him, blue eyes met gold. They looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Colonel Roy Mustang stood at a window and looked out at Central Headquarters. Two soldiers, both blond, one taller than the other were walking across the compound and he followed their progress. Elric and Havoc. They were walking easily together and he could see that they were laughing even if he couldn't hear it.

Judging from their direction they were going to the little bar that stood just around the corner from the side gates. It was a popular place and most of the soldiers stationed in Central went there regularly.

He smirked slightly remembering the last time they had all gone there and he wondered how Havoc had managed to persuade Ed to return. The young blond had been most vocal denouncing drinking and all its evils once he had recovered from the appalling hangover he had inflicted upon himself from that night.

A small cough had him turning slightly to see First Lieutenant Hawkeye standing there and he nodded at her before turning back to the window. She moved to see what was holding his attention and saw them.

"They're going to 'Mongers?" She asked, a slim eyebrow rising.

"So it appears."

Identical smiles crossed their faces. It had truly been a great night and a drunk Edward Elric had capped it all off. It was probably fortunate that Ed couldn't remember much of what he had done, everyone else remembered and that was more than enough of a humiliation to him.

"Edward will watch Jean drink, I bet." Hawkeye said lightly and Roy cast a quick glance at her, a fleeting frown crossing his face.

"Well, we know he won't have more than one anymore." Roy grinned. "I think Havoc's virtue is safe this time."

Hawkeye laughed. Ed had decided that Havoc needed help in the romance department and had dragged him around trying to set him up with everyone in their group. A drunken Edward, with no clue himself, had managed to crawl over and kiss just about everyone there, at the same time dragging an equally drunk Havoc with him, and instructing him through example and lots of incoherent shouting. They had all seen that Edward was very happy and rather uninhibited when he was drunk.

"I think Edward was more upset at Al leaving than he let on. You know they've always been close." They had gathered at 'Mongers after seeing Al get away safely on the train. Ed had been withdrawn at first and it had taken him awhile to become more cheerful. The drinks Havoc had insisted he try had definitely contributed to his rising good spirits.

"I know, and it wouldn't surprise me at all if that's why he drank so much that night."

They watched as Havoc threw an arm around Ed and steered him towards the gates.

"Havoc's making sure he doesn't cut and run?" Mustang queried, slightly baffled at the sudden closeness between them. Although, now that he thought about it, the two had always been friendly.

"That is unusual." Hawkeye's voice was even but he had known her a long time and he knew she did not understand it either. He also knew that she had a deep affection for Jean Havoc.

"I'm sure there's nothing for you to worry about, Riza." He said quietly. He was the only one who knew how she felt. He had watched them the last few days and despite their closeness, Havoc seemed completely unaware of how Hawkeye felt. Roy frowned again. How could the man be so blind? It just didn't seem possible. Maybe he should make Havoc 'gofer' for the next week. Perhaps running all over Headquarters instead of sitting there cosily chatting might shake some sense into him.

A small snort had him turning to meet her amused eyes. "Nothing for me to worry about?" She tried to keep a smile under control. "Why would Jean having his arm around Edward worry me?"

"You don't think it would worry me, do you?" he asked in return. Damn, the woman was too sharp sometimes.

"Oh, of course not." But her voice inferred the exact opposite and he turned away pulling his watch from his pocket, his face not as pale as it usually was.

"I have to meet General Viltry now. See you tomorrow, Riza."

"I'll see you in the morning, Roy." She said, smiling as she saluted and he grinned back at her briefly. She watched him walk down the corridor and her smile became a smirk as she murmured after him. "And the word for today is denial."

The smirk disappeared as she looked back out the window. Just because Jean didn't seem to notice her now didn't mean he couldn't be made to in the future. Maybe she should ask Roy for help. Given how friendly Jean and Edward had looked, maybe they could find a way that would benefit them both.

Author's Note: So, I was just sitting here and this bunny appeared and bit me… behold the result… light, fluffy and hopefully fun…

Enjoy

silken :)