Disclaimers: Transformers © Hasbro, Takara, and IDW. Evelyn and Met © Vaeru, Cafei © herself. Mythbusters © Discovery Channel and Beyond Productions.

Wheeljack is NOT a Mythbuster

Jason M. Lee

"What the--"

"DID WE AGREE TO NOT TEST YOUR EXPERIMENTS WITH HUMANS NEARBY?!"

"They were safe! Other humans have done it--"

"Eh-heh. Oops?"

"JUST BECAUSE OTHER HUMANS HAVE DONE IT DOESN'T MEAN IT WOULD BE SAFE FOR THESE TWO!!!"

"Hey! I took the usual precautions!"

"What did you do, Cafei."

"Uhmm... You know how they downloaded a whole buncha stuff from the Net?"

"Yes...?"

"THEY DO NOT HAVE THE EXPERIENCE THOSE HUMANS DO, WHEELJACK!!!"

"Well, why do you think I set up the--" *knock knock* "--blast-resistant shielding?"

"I was, uhm, kinda bored and... eh... told 'Jack about the Mythbusters."

"..."

'What the frag are the Mythbusters?'

Who, not what. Group of folks in San Francisco that specialize in creating special effects and uses said specialty on busting myths, hence the name. Myths being urban legends, such as is it possible to jump a gorge with your car and drive off safely, but they don't deal with stuff like ghosts or you guys. Can't get definitive results, they say.

'Huh. So... Is it possible to jump a gorge using an Earth car?'

Yes, but the car was pretty much trashed upon landing after a 172-foot jump, so it was busted. They're also known for creating quite the damages during their tests and last count regarding cars, six were used but at least four were irrevocably useless by the end of the day.

'...ow.'

An expaserated sigh. "You told Wheeljack about the Mythbusters."

"Hey, he asked about what do we watch on TV and it was the first thing that popped into my head. I mean, they both are pretty much engineers if you think about it..."

"C'mon, Ratchet. It was the closest equivalent to what we have on Met."

"JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE THEIR EQUIVALENT OF CYCLOTRIMETHYLENE TRINITRAMINE MIXED WITH DIOCTYL SEBACATE AND BONDED WITH POLYISOBUTYLENE DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD TRY TO SEE IF IT IS POSSIBLE TO BLOW OPEN AN INTERNAL RELOCKING SAFE USING WATER AND SAID HIGH EXPLOSIVE INSIDE MET!!!"

Gloved hand palmed face. "Cracking a safe without destroying its contents using water and some explosives?"

Fidget. "Crimes and Myth-Demeanors 2, season 4, episode 16."

'...you humans think up the weirdest ways of entertaining yourselves.'

All in the name of science.

A/N: Written for a contest Vaeru and Cafei held back in October '07, in which we pick one of eight doodles Cafei drew and write a fic to it. I picked and won using doodle 4 "Wut", where it shows Evelyn face-palming with Lil' Cafei standing next to her.

Cyclotrimethylene trinitramine and dioctyl sebacate with polyisobutylene as the binder are the main ingredients in everybody's favorite explosive, C-4. The last one I didn't mention was SAE 10 non-detergent motor oil. Yes, they used C-4 in that segment of Mythbusters. Myth was deemed plausible, though. "Jumping a Gorge" myth from the Mege Movie Special, which was busted.