Desire

Jaelawyn Noble [ Love 'em, dun own 'em.
Warnings: smut!
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Zack/Cloud, Zack/OFC
Archive: http://nobelia.envy.nu
Summary: Zack is faced with a truth that he's been trying to hide.
Feedback: 'm a whore for it.
Notation: For Rachia on my LJ request thread. Be in fucking awe. I wrote het. I feel strangely dirty now...and I have a pissed off Cloud muse and an angsty little Zack muse. I am totally never writing het again...it holds absolutely no interest for me...I so hate you... hates this damned thing even more This was fun, but evil. yawns pokes you You evil.

Zack let the scantily clad woman led him up the stairs to one of the rooms in the disgusting inn. He'd drunk enough that even his SOLDIER metabolism had finally given up trying to keep him sober and he was desperate to get rid of these feelings that he knew he shouldn't have, that he couldn't possible allow to exist. The woman looked over her bare shoulder at him and giggled before pulling him into an empty room with a large-ish bed.

"What do you want to do?" the girl asked breathily, eagerly pulling at Zack's shirt. "I can do whatever you want."

Zack smirked, "Really? Is that a promise?"

The girl laughed, blue eyes bright with drink and lust. So much like... Zack violently tore his thoughts from that direction and started to unlace the girl's shirt before pulling it up over her head and cupping her breast. The girl moaned, arching her chest up into Zack's hands, eyes sliding closed as Zack massaged the girl's flesh. He moved on autopilot as he pushed her back onto the bed and straddled her, bending his head to take her nipple in his mouth.

Breathy moans greeted him as he suckled and nibbled gently around the soft flesh, though his mind kept suggesting a hard body, a deeper - but equally breathy - moan, and hands that would cling to him instead of clenching in a pillow. Moving his mouth to the girl's neck, he slipped his hand between her legs, pushing his fingers inside her to stretch her.

What am I doing here?he asked himself, not even paying attention to what he was doing to the girl beneath him. She doesn't hold interest for me... Hellfires, no woman does. I'm not even hard… he discovered with some disappointment.

Pulling back, Zack sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his eyes. Fuck.

"Is something wrong?" the girl asked, pouting.

i He wouldn't need to even ask. /i

"No, it's fine. I'm just tired," Zack said, standing and picking his shirt up.

"D-do you still want to...?"

Zack resisted from rolling his eyes and dug some gil out of his pocket before giving it to her, "Sorry, I'm just going to go back to the base."

The girl looked pissed, huffing and thrusting the gil back at him, "Take it. You didn't do anything anyway."

Zack took the gil back and left, not really caring what the girl thought of him. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he boarded the train that would take him back to the base. He sat there, head hanging down as he half-dozed, half-thought about what would happen now. He had admitted to himself when he decided to leave the girl that he had more than a friendly attraction to his friend, but it didn't mean that he had any idea what he would do with this newly acknowledged information.

He could ignore it, and continue to just be friends with the younger boy.

Or...he could pursue it, and possibly lose Cloud in the process.

Growling low in his throat, he got off the train and switched to one that would take him to Sector 6. He needed to see Aeris. She would be able to make things clearer...

"You are an idiot," Aeris sighed, watching him sprawl on the pew as she knelt among the flowers.

"Yes, I am. I know this. That's why I'm here. You're a Healer, so cure my idiocy," Zack griped.

Aeris gave him a Look. "One cannot i cure /i idiocy. Especially not the kind i you /i have."

"I don't want to lose him," Zack whispered.

"If you don't tell him, you'll lose him anyway," Aeris muttered.

"And how's that?" Zack asked, sitting up from his lazy sprawl.

"If this boy is all that you say he is, then he'll i know /i something's off about the way you act around him, and he'll press for you to tell him, and then you'll refuse, and that will drive a wedge of doubt between you both, and that doubt will ultimately kill whatever it is you two have at this point," Aeris sighed.

Zack hid his face in his hands, "Dammit all, you're right. He i would /i do that."

"So, who is this boy?" Aeris asked. "Anyone I know?"

"No. You've never met him. He's...he's special."

"Do I get a name?"

"No."

Aeris rolled her eyes, "You are so predictable, Zack."

Zack sighed and stood, rubbing the back of his neck. "All right. I'm going back to the base. I'll...figure something out, find some way to bring up the topic."

"Let me know how it ends up, all right?" Aeris asked, standing and going over to Zack. "We might not be dating anymore, Zack, but I still care for you. You're like a big brother."

"You told me I was like a big baby and you were my mother earlier."

"You're both," Aeris said dryly.

Zack winced and kissed her on the forehead. "Thank you, Aeris."

Cloud watched Zack with a frown. Something was bothering the older boy. He wasn't talking, wasn't teasing, wasn't smiling...he wasn't being i Zack /i . Cloud watched Zack pace from his spot on the counter in the older boy's apartment.

"Spit it out," Cloud said, breaking the tense silence. "You'll feel better once you get it out of your system."

"Hunh?" Zack asked, purple eyes holding a distinctly "deer-in-the-headlight's" glaze.

"You're not being you. You're all panicky and quiet and you're pacing," Cloud pointed out, letting his heel kick the counter lightly. "Whatever news you've got can't be as bad as you're making it out to be."

"Oooh yes it is," Zack muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

Cloud rolled his eyes, "D'you want me to guess?"

Zack snorted.

"All right, fine, I will. You're being shipped out."

"No."

"You've been kicked out."

"WHAT?! No!"

Cloud laughed, "You said something disrespectful to Hojo, the President, Sephiroth, someone who could make your life a living hell."

"No. Not that it maters, but I say something like that every other hour to Sephiroth."

"Yeah, well, it was worth a shot," Cloud muttered. "You've got orders you disagree with."

"No."

"You have a girlfriend and are trying to figure out how to propose."

"NO!"

"You got some girl pregnant."

"Fucking hell, i no /i !"

Cloud snickered, "You've got a jealous boyfriend stalking you because you stole his girl away from him."

Zack gave him a nasty look; Cloud snickered. "How the hell can everyone think you're the nice, polite, i naive /i one?"

Cloud looked at Zack innocently, blue eyes wide, "Me? Why, I don't know what you're talking about! What's the Red Moon for again?"

"Bite me..." Zack flushed, looking away.

"You finally figured out that there's a bet going around on the base to see how long it'll be before we fall into bed together."

"WHAT?!"

Cloud grinned, "Ah, we have contact."

Zack was beet red, "There's a goddamned i pool /i on us?"

"Has been for two years."

"You were 13!"

"You were 15."

"That's...what the hell are they thinking?"

"You can't keep it in your pants?" Cloud grinned.

Zack glared.

Cloud shrugged and tapped his lips with a finger, "So, you didn't know about the pool, but it does have something to do with me."

"What makes you think that?" Zack asked, turning away from Cloud and rubbing his neck.

"Because you're nervous. Have been since I came over. Why don't you just tell me what you're all twisted up about?"

"Do you have an issue with that pool?" Zack asked.

Cloud shrugged, continuing to kick the cabinet under him. "Not really. I think it's funny. I've known about it since it started."

Zack stared at him, "And you never i said /i anything?"

Cloud shrugged again, "Does it matter?"

Zack sighed, drooping a bit. "No, I guess not."

Cloud snickered, "Besides, I have money in it."

"WHAT?!" Zack asked, standing straight up again, looking for all the world like an angry cat.

Cloud started laughing, leaning back against the wall as he just let himself laugh. He couldn't help it, not really. Zack looked so offended and shocked, yet there was some relief around his eyes.

Zack stalked over to him and grabbed him, shaking him a little, "You little--! You put money on that?"

"It's funny!"

"How much gil is it up to?" Zack asked, glaring.

"Uh, at last count by Xel, at least 700,000 gil," Cloud said, tilting his head back, thinking. "At least. New people put money on it every day. I think even Sephiroth's got a hand in the pot."

"Sweet merciful gods," Zack moaned, letting his head fall forward and rest on Cloud's chest.

Cloud took pity on his friend and stroked his hair, petting him lightly with a small smile.

"So, you like me, hm?"

Zack stiffened.

"Bingo," Cloud laughed softly. "Took you a while to figure it out."

"How long have you...?"

"Mm...two years. Same reason the pool started."

"Fuck," Zack whispered.

"Moron," Cloud said affectionately.

"Yeah, I am," Zack sighed, head still resting against Cloud's collarbone.

"So? Finally going to stop being a moron?"

"What day did you pick?"

Cloud looked down at Zack, confused, "Uh, I think I put down for tomorrow, why?"

"Who was today?"

"Sephiroth or Commander Tamaki."

"Anyone else for tomorrow?"

"Possibly Sephiroth. I'm not sure when he put his date down. Why?"

Zack straightened and smirked at him, "We'll see tomorrow."

Cloud frowned at him, "Hunh?"

The next day Zack stalked Cloud's schedule until the younger boy was at the practice yard, with a good crowd to watch as Cloud and another regular - Ren? Zen? Tseng? - sparred with each other. Zack knew he looked rather smug with himself; a few people had backed away from him when they saw his toothy grin.

When the match was over, Zack gave a sharp whistle and beckoned Cloud over to his side of the fence. "Oy, get over here, Spikey!"

Cloud rolled his eyes while several of the men laughed. When Cloud was within grabbing distance, Zack pulled the surprised boy as close to him as he could with the low fence separating them and captured his mouth in a passionate, desire-filled kiss. Letting the kiss end, Zack smirked at the dazed expression in Cloud's eyes.

"Shall we finish up later tonight?" Zack asked, leering.

Cloud regained enough sense to smack Zack upside the head and flush. "I'm going to kill you later tonight," he choked out.

Zack laughed and patted Cloud's head before ambling off, whistling to himself. Out of the corner of his eye, Zack swore he saw Sephiroth laughing silently and clapping his hands in amusement.

Yeah, he was good. He was damned good. And Cloud was his.