A/N: LOOK! An update! -EPICFAIL- I reeeally need to work on updating. I apologize. It really shouldn't be that difficult seeing as they are only drabbles. But yes, this was a request and I honestly cannot remember who asked for it. -grovels-

Disclaimer: I don't think that disclaimers are necessary. I mean, who owns them? Square Penix.

P.S. I know that Lucretia was only a hologram-ish thing left by her memory. This just worked itself into the story.

Once upon a time, there was a lonely man... vampire... thing. He was sexy; let's just leave it at that. His name was Little Red Riding Valentine. Actually, it was Vincent Valentine, but let's humor the narrator for a bit.

He was hopping from glowy tree to glowy tree, passing through the Forgotten City to the cave that held his former love. As Little Red Riding Valentine was traveling from his faraway land of Kalm to the cave of his deceased love, big, bad Sephiroth destroyed the crystals and disposed of the woman's body. Meaning, he burned it until only ashes were left.

It went a little something like this:

Two thwacking sounds resonated, caused by a ridiculously large katana hitting against crystals.

"Sephiroth? What in Chaos's name are you doing?"

"Don't say my future lover's name in vain, bitch."

Grunt. Another thwack sounded. Then a long cracking sound followed by a thud made itself known in the small cave.

"What are you—?"

"You are dead and have been that way for a while. I will properly cremate you. Then properly bury your ashes ten feet under. After that I will properly respect my properly dead mother."

"You can't do this!"

"What is stopping me?"

"He loves me!"

"He can just as well learn to love another. Plus, you've had your chance, dearest Mumsies. But no, you went for that disgusting excuse for a human being, Hojo. I must thank you for that, though; because if you hadn't, I would have never been born and my lovely Valentine would be graying about now."

"Why you—!"

"Goodbye, Mother."

The sound of flames engulfing a crystallized body echoed throughout the cave.

-END FLASHBACK-

When Little Red Riding Valentine approached the opening of the cave and entered it, he was utterly shocked at what he found: big, bad Sephiroth sitting regally upon the ruined remains of what used to be Little Red's deceased love with an ultimately smug look on his face.

"Sephiroth? How did you...—Where is Lucretia?" Little Red instantly noted the absence.

"Wrong line, Vincent," was all the silver 'angel' responded with.

A short sigh escaped the lips of the gunman, and he continued in a flat tone.

"Why, Lucretia, what strange eyes you have…"

"The better to see you with, my love."

"What long, silver hair you have."

"Courtesy of Jenova, naturally."

"What a lewd facial expression you are wearing."

"The better to seduce you with."

"You are not Lucretia; you are the World's Greatest Calamity. And that is your erection pressing into my navel."

"And now the star of your wet dreams. So, Little Chaos, Little Chaos, let me in."

"Not by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin."

A gloved finger stroked said chin.

"But you have no hair on that lovely chin, so I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow you out of your mind."

With that, our big, bad Sephiroth proceeded to erase all memories of Lucretia Crescent from Little Red Riding Valentine's mind.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed that. Remember to R&R!