Yes, it's another one where Blackbird gets pwned by Kathryn! XD Enjoy!

As usual, I only own what comes out of my own crazed mind.

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"I still don't understand why I had to come along," Blackbird grumbled.

"Aww, c'mon! It'll be fun!"

Blackbird rolled his eyes, groaning. In Bumblebee's backseat, Kathryn and Mikaela giggled. Bumblebee also rolled his eyes, but he was grinning.

They were going on Blackbird's most perilous mission to date.

The mall.

Kathryn had decided that the rather limited wardrobe she had been wearing since joining the Autobots was just not enough to get by with, and Mikaela had eagerly suggested a trip to the mall. Blackbird was practically obligated to go by then and Bumblebee had volunteered to accompany them in holoform to spare Sam. (After all, it was his duty to protect the boy. He remembered the last time Mikaela had dragged Sam to the mall.)

Blackbird, having never been around so many humans before, was very nervous. Kathryn and Mikaela's giggling was not helping.

His anxiety ratcheted up another notch as Bumblebee turned into the mall parking lot. A cursory glance showed easily a thousand cars in the lot, with probably even more that could not be seen. Luckily, there were a few parking spaces. Bumblebee quickly claimed a lucky spot close to the entrance, and they piled out.

"Hey, don't worry, Blackbird," Kathryn said. "Nobody's gonna look at you and think, 'Oh my God! He must be an alien!'"

"Yeah," Mikaela added. "They're gonna look at you and think, 'Oh my God! He's so hot!' See?" She nodded toward a group of teenaged females standing around just outside the mall entrance. They were all eyeing Blackbird and tittering amongst themselves.

Kathryn hooked her arm in Blackbird's and gave him a peck on the cheek. Blackbird suppressed a smirk as they walked past the disappointed girls.

"Getting possessive, are we?" he murmured as they entered the mall.

"Mine," Kathryn murmured back, grinning at him.

Blackbird was rather impressed at the size of the mall. The ceiling was easily tall enough to let Optimus walk under without ducking his head. Stores of every kind lined the walls. The sheer number of things that could be bought here was staggering.

"All right, where do we want to go first?" Mikaela said. Blackbird and Bumblebee exchanged knowing glances. They were just along for the ride; the girls were clearly in charge here.

"Hot Topic!" Kathryn said excitedly, setting off purposefully.

What the frag is Hot Topic? Blackbird wondered idly. It was probably a store of some kind, but the name sounded… unusual. He gave a questioning glance to Bumblebee, who shrugged. He didn't know either.

Hot Topic was, indeed, a store. However, it was a very odd store, smaller than the ones that surrounded it. It gave the impression of being an underground operation, small and independent. However, it also appeared to be extremely popular. The place was packed. Blackbird hesitated at the entrance.

"Come on," Kathryn said, tugging gently on his arm. "Nothing in here bites." Blackbird reluctantly allowed himself to be guided into the throng of teenaged shoppers. Most of the merchandise consisted of screen-printed tees, often with the names or logos of different bands on them. Kathryn walked down one of the narrow aisles before stopping and plucking a hoodie off the rack. "Oooh, look!" she said delightedly.

It was an Invader Zim hoodie. Blackbird groaned aloud, making Kathryn giggle.

"I'm so buying this!" she declared, and set off in search of more clothing. Blackbird followed, tentatively threading his way through the crowd of people. By the time he had caught up with her, she had collected several shirts and was looking at a glass case that held various bumper stickers.

"I should get that one and put it on you," Kathryn said, pointing at one of them. It had a picture of Harry Potter on it and said "I speak Parseltongue." Blackbird sputtered slightly.

"Can we just pay for your clothes and get out of here?" he said. "I feel slightly claustrophobic." He nearly sighed in relief when Kathryn nodded.

At the register, Blackbird pulled out the credit card that Optimus had given him. Kathryn had referred to it as a "black card," and was obviously rather impressed with it. The rules of credit cards were rather confusing, but from what he knew, the card was special because it had no set limit, so apparently only very rich people could get one.

That, or people who were close friends with the highest levels of government.

They exited the store with the new clothes in a bag. Blackbird found it somewhat odd that he should be the one carrying it, when they were clearly Kathryn's. Kathryn, however, did not seem to be giving this much thought as they reconnected with Mikaela and Bumblebee and headed off to another store.

Several hours later, they were all carrying shopping bags from various stores. Blackbird was wondering how they were going to fit it all into Bumblebee's alt mode. Especially since the girls claimed that they were still not done yet.

"We only have one place left that we have to go," Kathryn said. Blackbird cheered silently.

"Which one?" he said, hoping it would be something quick and easy.

He could feel his spark sink at the look Kathryn and Mikaela exchanged.

"Victoria's Secret," they said in unison.

Blackbird flinched. He had once come across an ad for Victoria's Secret. He wasn't sure if he should get anywhere near the place.

He had to hurry to catch up with the others. Kathryn and Mikaela were walking purposefully ahead, while Bumblebee was trailing after them, looking somewhat embarrassed. Blackbird could understand that. He felt pretty much the same way himself.

A few minutes later, they had arrived in front of the store. The nearer he got, the more the feeling solidified that Blackbird did not belong in such a place. Lingerie was not, and never would be, his area of expertise.

He silently thanked Primus for that.

"Hmm, I can't go in there carrying all this stuff," Kathryn said, looking at the shopping bags she held. "Mikaela, do you mind sitting somewhere and watching my stuff while I go in?"

"No problem," Mikaela said, a little too easily. She went over to a nearby bench and sat down.

"I'll stay too!" Bumblebee offered, taking Kathryn and Blackbird's shopping bags and setting them on the bench next to Mikaela.

"Maybe I should stay out here…" Blackbird started to say, as Kathryn took his arm and practically dragged him into the dreaded store.

"You have the credit card," she pointed out, opening the glass door.

This seemed a very tenuous reason for making him come along. Blackbird frowned. He was about to point out that he could just give her the card and leave when Kathryn cut him off with an exclamation of delight and made a beeline for one of the racks. Feeling helpless, he trailed after her, trying not to look at the merchandise.

Kathryn did not make it very easy for him. She held up several… undergarments, obviously for his perusal.

"What do you think?" she said innocently.

There were several moments of silence as Blackbird attempted to figure out if she was actually being serious. Besides that, he had no idea what to say. What did it matter what he thought, anyway? She was going to be the one wearing them, not him. It wasn't as though he were going to see them ever again…

Oh.

Now he was absolutely certain he'd been set up.

Trying to find a way out of giving a definitive answer, he said, "Uhhh, why don't you try them on?"

"Okay!" Kathryn chirped, practically bouncing over to the dressing rooms and disappearing inside.

Hmmm. That had been too easy. Blackbird spared a quick glance outside the store, barely turning his head. His fears were confirmed. Bumblebee and Mikaela were surreptitiously watching him from outside the store, identical smirks plastered across their faces. Blackbird silently vowed that he would have his revenge before moving out of their line of sight.

Unfortunately, the only place not visible from outside the store was the dressing rooms. Blackbird ground his holographic teeth, resigning himself to his fate as he leaned against the wall.

Two teenage girls came by to use the dressing rooms. Blackbird nearly flinched at their disapproving stares, willing himself to act natural. It was getting harder by the second.

It was at that moment that Kathryn decided to start humming. Blackbird didn't know why this made him more nervous than he already was. He took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and then let it go, allowing some of his tension to drain away with it.

"Hmm, I can't decide," Kathryn said. "Can you come in and help me, Blackbird?"

That was the last straw. Blackbird dug the credit card out of his pocket, threw it over the dressing room door, and sprinted for the exit, vowing never to go shopping with a female again.

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Ta daaaa! Hope you liked it!

OH! I have great news! I finally made my first video to be posted on YouTube! It's a video about Megatron to the song "Miss Murder." I'm so proud of it! .:squee:.

Also, I have my own fanart!!! Crooked drew an awesome picture of Kathryn and Blackbird together, and it's sooo cute! I hope she posts it on deviantArt or something, because I adore it to death and wish I could show it to ya! (I think that Kathryn and Blackbird are sort of the wrong size in proportion to one another, but it's so damn cute, I couldn't care less!) Thanks Crooked! .:huggles:.