After my ah… "business" with Light was finished, I crawled back into my own bed with the chain dragging soundlessly on the ground. I laid in my bed for what felt like hours, waiting for an answer to come to me. I wasn't quite sure what my question was, but I was yearning for an answer to something. Why is my life so complicated? How is it possible to be in love with two people at once? I couldn't understand this.

"Mistress?" Malak's voice rang out in the darkness that surrounded me.

"Yes Malak, what is it?" I whispered.

"You seem distressed, is something amiss?"

"No, just my emotions playing tricks on me. Nothing to be concerned about."

He sat on the edge of my bed and crawled towards me until his pale blue eyes dug into my soul. It seemed to me that he was the kind of person (or death god, if you will) that was always searching for an answer, even when there was none to be found. I wanted to open up to him, tell him my feelings about everything, but that would be risky. Since he is supposedly in love with me, he could use it against me. I didn't say anything to him, but he cocked his head to the side and came closer. I inhaled sharply, and he laid down next to me, pulling me into his broad chest and simply held me.

"What are you doing?" I asked gently.

"Isn't this how human males comfort their mistresses when they are upset?" He asked, seemingly confused.

"Well, yes but—"

"I am comforting you. I sense your sadness and your struggle."

His chest smelled like musty death, but for a reason I couldn't explain it was a comforting scent. I suppose as long as Malak was at my side, I didn't need to worry about Light or L abandoning me, I didn't need to worry about my cocaine addiction or what was left of it. I could just…be.

Before I could transpire what was happening, I was sobbing into his chest. He held me tighter and I gathered my legs to my chest until I ran out of tears and just laid there. I wiggled out of Malak's grasp and walked over to the mirror where I gently tugged my deep black hair. It seemed ragged rather than neat, and dry rather than soft. I wanted desperately to cut it, but there were no nearby scissors and I did not want to disturb L while he was sleeping. I heard a quiet clanging behind me and turned around only to see that L was awake.

"Is something troubling you Tsukiko?" He asked gently.

"I cannot sleep, my dreams are troubling me."

"Would you like to talk?" He whispered, patting an empty space next to him.

I stared him for some time, and then glanced at Light. He was still sleeping soundly, breathing in the stifling air and twitching slightly. I wanted nothing more than to talk, but I knew he would use this against me in the Kira case. I opened my mouth to say something, but felt a sharp pain stab through my abdomen. I let out a small moan and looked down to see a dark liquid soak through my pajama bottoms. I fell to my knees and cradled my stomach as Ryuzaki rushed to my aid. The tension from the chain woke Light from his sleep and he drowsily came to my side as well. He flipped on the light and when my eyes adjusted to the bright light, I could see a puddle of blood surrounding me. Ryuzaki had a puzzling look on his face, and then it went paler than normal as he scooped me into his arms and rushed me to the medical ward. Once there, he laid me on a bed as a doctor in white asked Ryuzaki and Light several questions as nurses connected me to several machines. My legs were curling up as reaction to the pain, and they stripped off my clothing. There was so much blood between my legs I wanted to vomit. I had never seen such a large volume of it, not since my maid was killed. I cried in pain and quickly fell asleep.

--

I awoke several hours later as the sunlight poured through the windows, making the bright white room even brighter than it was before. The lights above me glowed dimly, why were they even on? I was dressed in a simple blue hospital gown while the machines next to me beeped quietly. I flipped the blankets off and saw that the blood was gone. I felt dizzy and noticed there were several bags of blood hanging on poles next to me. It was completely silent in the room, save for someone sweeping the floor. He looked at me and looked into a different direction.

"She's awake." He said quietly. His words echoed so loudly I moaned.

Someone in white came into the room and his footsteps echoed as well. Why on earth do people make so much noise? I rested my hands on my lap and played with the pulse detector on my finger. The man stood by my bed and introduced himself as a doctor and went on and on about my condition until I stopped him.

"Wait, what did you say happened?" I asked in shock.

"Miss Namida…the blood came from your vaginal canal, and the pain you experienced was—"

"What happened to me?" I asked softly.

"You had a miscarriage."