Perhaps

A/n: Ruuku for manyissues101's contest. My prompt was: Riku always tried to get Fuu to eat more, because he thought she was too skinny, and it annoyed her.

Disclaimer: I don't own KH, as it belongs to Tetsuya Nomura. RENT is mentioned in this story, I don't own it either, it belongs to Jonathan Larson.

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She hated "perhaps".

With a personality like hers—practical and straightforward and no-dreaming, no-beating-around-the-bush stern—most people would think she hated "what if".

But no. What if didn't really bother her. Because she accepted that there were things in life that were possible but highly improbable, and like every other thing or concept or idea or whatever in the English language, they needed a name. And the name society had given to that group of possibilities-but-not-probabilities was "hypothetical" or, in ordinary, common English, "what if".

But "perhaps" bothered her. Unlike what if, perhaps didn't represent something solid and concrete. While what if was merely a term used to describe a certain category of events, perhaps was wishy-washy and indecisive, and people used it in so many different ways that it had gotten mixed up and nobody knew exactly what degree or possibility, probability, improbability, or any other sort of "ility" perhaps was applied to.

So when she'd finally gotten up the courage to ask out Seifer Almasy (via handwritten note of course, she could never speak so many words) and he'd responded with an offhand "perhaps," Fuu Tacita hadn't known if that "perhaps" meant yes or no.

A month later, when they had yet to go on a single date, she'd decided with complete finality that perhaps meant no.

But less than a year later, when she'd asked—or rather, her best friend Rai asked for her—batty old Professor Xemnas whether she had passed her final exam, the old professor had replied with an offhand "perhaps." She'd cried for hours that night before finding out the next day that she had passed after all.

So then, Fuu decided that maybe perhaps meant yes. But it couldn't mean yes all the time, because when Seifer had said it, the word had meant no. Apparently, "perhaps" sometimes meant yes and sometimes it meant no.

And that was the root of the silver haired girl's hatred of the word. Perhaps confused her. It had no set meaning. It could be one thing or another, depending on the person.

So Fuu vowed that day never to use "perhaps" when speaking to another person (or herself, though she didn't really do that,) in order to save the rest of mankind from the awful confusion that she had suffered when attempting to discern its meaning.

And it was "perhaps" that told Riku Arianwen that something was very, very wrong with his best friend.

It happened on a Tuesday, a week and a half after Fuu had stopped eating.

Why she stopped, nobody was exactly sure. Maybe it was because class popular boys, Seifer and Rai (with whom the silent female no longer hung out after an argument in middle school) had declared that all fat girls were ugly and didn't deserve to exist. Maybe it was after she saw somewhat plump Sora Hikari receive the nicknames "Plumpy" and "Pillow Boy" after he was first seen by the general public in a Blitz Ball uniform (which did not flatter him). Maybe it had something to do with her gradually deteriorating home life.

Nobody knew, but what they did know was that since that fateful Monday in early September, Fuu Tacita had not consumed a single bite of food.

And Riku, who had become her best-friend-due-to-convenience after the aforementioned fight with Seifer and Rai, and who had gradually over the course of freshman year become that-guy-whom-everyone-thought-was-her-boyfriend, and then sometime in the late spring had progressed (via the usual accidental confession followed by a kiss method) to her first actual boyfriend.

Which, Fuu soon discovered, had both its perks (the kisses, the look of utter shock on Seifer's face when they walked in to school on a Wednesday with fingers entwined) and its annoyances (Riku hated the fact that she wouldn't eat, and wouldn't stop trying to force her to start again).

This leads us to this Tuesday, when our couple was in the middle of one of their usual arguments. Like the others, it started out with Riku's mother-hen nagging over breakfast, went through a large spectrum of death glares (by Fuu) and begs, pleads and bribes (by Riku) and several "No"s (by Fuu) and a few tears (by Riku) and ended with an exasperated silver haired male yelling.

"FUUJIN TACITA, DO YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE KILLING YOURSELF? AND YOU'RE KILLING ME TOO, BY DOING THIS!! Now, WILL YOU EAT?"

And then came silence.

And then,

"Perhaps," said Fuu, her voice level and full of ice.

And Riku knew he had made her angry, simply due to the fact that she had used her least favorite word. But the male was too incensed to stop.

It should be noted here that Riku Arianwen never loses his temper. He is cool and calm and reserved and somewhat angsty, but he never loses his temper. But Fuu's self-starvation was scaring him, a fact he refused to admit, and he was too angry at the stupid girl now to stop his tirade.

"WELL YOU JUST KEEP ON GOING AND LETTING SEIFER'S OPINIONS RULE YOUR LIFE, FUU! IF I DIDN'T KNOW YOU BETTER, I'D THINK YOU STILL HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM!"

As soon as he said that, the girl's face crumpled momentarily before she regained her usual icy mask. Riku couldn't believe himself. He loved Fuu so much, but he'd just done something extremely stupid and un-Riku-like for her sake. He'd yelled for her sake. Riku Arianwen was manly. He wasn't a nagging mother-hen. He didn't beg on his knees for girls to stay—he could have as many as he wanted, after all, he was the "Mr. Hottie" of high school. And he most certainly, did not yell.

So he wasn't entirely surprised when Fuu grabbed him by the shoulder and slowly (weakened from a week and a half of refusing to eat) led him to the front door and unceremoniously pushed him out onto the rough sidewalk, causing him to land on his perfect buttocks in the mud collecting around the edges of the girl's tiny yard.

So it was that when less than a minute later, the school's most notorious gossips, Kairi Princess and Selphie Tilmitt, walked by on their way to the hairdresser's, they found a foul-smelling and mud-coated Riku attempting to scrape a layer of filth from his perfect white jeans.

In the next few moments, which consisted mostly of high-pitched giggles and an embarrassed blush blooming on the hottie's alabaster cheeks, he completely forgot to go ring the doorbell and apologize to Fuu.

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By Thursday, he didn't want to.

Apologize to Fuu, that is. His girlfriend's—make that ex-girlfriend's—pushing and his subsequent fall into the mud were well-known facts before the day was out, thanks to Kairi and Selphie's gigantic blabbering mouths. The boy who two days ago was the super-popular "Sex God" of the grade could now no longer walk down the hall without being met by whispers, giggles and horrible nicknames.

"Hey Ra—Riku, what's up?"

The silveret nearly growled as he heard the nickname almost pass the speaker's lips. His muddy escapade last Tuesday had resulted in many inventive nicknames, included but not limited to "Mud Pie," "Filthy Flirt" and "The Putrid Paramour," the last two being not so subtle jibes at the fact that Fuu had pushed him as a means of breaking up.

However, the one nickname that the teen hated most of all—and, of course, seemed like the one that would stick around for the longest—was "Ranku."

Riku liked his name. It meant "land" in Japanese. He was proud of it, and hated to hear it spoiled by such a stupid nickname. Especially by the person who had just asked him what was up.

"Nothing much…Sora," the silver haired male growled. Sure, he knew his best friend of several years, Sora Hikari, was a little oblivious and constantly "out of it," that gave the somewhat plump brunette NO RIGHT to participate in the grade wide teasing of his best friend. After all, weren't best friends supposed to stick up for one another? Sora, it seemed, defied that logic much in the same way his cinnamon-hued spiky hair defied gravity.

"Now Ri-ku," the more cheerful teen began in an annoyingly sing-song voice that sent up red flags labeled Sora's up to no good, watch out in the older boy's brain. "No need to be so grumpy. I just might have come bearing a genius plan that will get you and Fuu back together for sure!"

Riku growled. "I. Don't. Want. To. Get. Back. Together. With. Fuu." he ground out between his teeth. "Thanks to her, the whole grade called me 'Ranku' and I've gone from Mr. Hottie to Mr. Everyone laugh at him because his life is so pitiful!"

"Riku, you can't say that!" Sora almost squealed. Glancing around, Riku saw tears begin to form in the corner of his best friend's startlingly sky blue eyes.

"Why are you crying, Sora," Riku asked patiently .

"LOOK!" the brunette replied viciously, forcing his friend's head to bend at an extremely uncomfortable angle so he could get a good view of a lonely table in the corner of the cafeteria.

Fuu Tacita sat there, alone, a plate with a single piece of bread sitting in front of her distraught face. Slowly, her pale, nimble fingers lifted a single crumb to her pale lips.

With agonizing slowness, those beautiful lips parted and let in the tiny bit of food. For nearly a minute it remained in her mouth. While her ex-boyfriend watched, the muscles in the back of Fuu's throat convulsed, as she desperately attempted to swallow her first bite of food in nearly two weeks.

And then, once again so slow it was agonizing to watch, the mouth regurgitated the crumb of food, spitting the bread back onto the grimy blue cafeteria plate.

Frustrated tears formed in the corner of her normally expressionless eyes, and she mouthed a single word. Even from far away, Riku could make out the syllables of his own name as they passed her lips.

It was a touching, tragic site. It made his heart ache with loss and tears prick at the corner of his impassive aquamarine eyes….

…but no, Fuu had ruined his reputation, he couldn't go and feel pity for her. "Your point is?" he asked Sora, his voice harsh with concealed emotion, before getting up and stalking away with what was left of his shattered dignity.

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On Friday, the lonely table where his ex-girlfriend had inhabited while trying to force the bread down her throat was empty. Riku was debating whether asking Sora where Fuu was would be showing too much interest, when he discovered he would have no need of asking.

"You IDIOT!" his best friend howled, storming up to Riku's table in a fit of explosive rage. "You STUPID, BLUNDERING, REALLY STUPID, HEARTLESS, UNCARING, AND EXTREMELY STUPID IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER?"

"Sora, calm down. What did I do? What do you mean 'her'….Oh my gosh. Do you mean Fuu? Did I do something to Fuu? Sora, tell me!" For the second time in a week, Riku Arianwen did something extremely out of character. He grabbed the brunette by the shoulders and shook him fiercely, not even noticing how his head lolled limply as he grilled the boy about his ex's whereabouts.

"Hands OFF me, Ranku," Sora growled, the anger evident in his voice as he purposely invoked the awful nickname. "If you must know, Mr. High and Mighty, your distraught ex girlfriend left school directly after lunch yesterday. Selphie and Kairi saw her leave and got scared. She was crying and cursing under her breath, they said. They went to go look for Mrs. Gainsborough," here Sora named the kindly guidance counselor who was second to none at solving the problems of ordinary high school children, "and by the time they found her, she already knew. Wakka from the Pizza Hut called, he sounded really worried. It seems Fuu ordered a large pizza. He was scared, cause he knew she didn't eat. So Selphie and Kairi and Mrs. Gainsborough got to Fuu's house, and nearly a half hour had passed. She'd locked the door, but they managed to break it down. She was on the floor, passed out with an empty large pizza box and an empty case of sea salt ice cream beside her. She….Riku, she was so sad…she couldn't stand it, being….without you, alone….and she felt so bad that you….were always getting so worried about her." Tears formed at the corners of the caring brunette's eyes. He forced out the last few words through heavy, wracking sobs.

"She…she couldn't stand how much she worried you. She couldn't stand that she couldn't eat anymore. So…so….she ordered an entire pizza and went and bought sea salt ice cream, and she….well, she binged herself on food. She ate the whole thing herself….we're guessing she just wouldn't let herself stop. When they found her….she was passed out and her skin was flushed this horrible red. She's…she's in the hospital, Riku. Been there for several hours. And she won't wake up….she's in critical condition…and it's all YOUR FAULT!" The tears were gone, and it was back to anger. "YOU are such a stupid, inconsiderate jerk that you don't even care for your own freaking girlfriend! She almost killed herself because you thought she was too skinny!"

Riku's mouth dropped open in shock. "Sora….Sora, I never…"

What he was trying to say was, I never thought she was too skinny. I didn't ask her to eat because I was worried about her weight. I wanted her to eat because I was scared for her, scared that she would eventually die of starvation! And she was letting Seifer's opinions control her life….the whole reason she stopped eating was because Seifer said fat girls are ugly….I did this because I care for her! I love her, and I couldn't live without her!

But what came out was. "Sora, I need your car."

Riku didn't own a car. He wasn't well off financially, and all the extra classes he took after school plus his current unemployed status didn't help. Sora had a car. He needed Sora's car, because he needed to get to the hospital and apologize to the girl he loved.

Sora's face softened as he realized why his best friend was requesting the use of the vehicle. He tossed a ring of keys at the silveret. "It's the one with the chocobo on it," the brunette told Riku in a flat voice.

"Thanks, Sor. You're amazing. I owe you times like, a million," Riku promised and began running off towards the exit.

"Wait!" Sora called. Riku's sneakers made skidding noises against the tile of the cafeteria as he ground to a halt.

"Yeah?" he asked, turning to face the shorter teen.

"Take this. Might give you some ideas on how to apologize. I found it on the floor near Fuu's locker…it felt out. Now go, and if she bites your head off, tell her I said 'Congratulations,'" Sora's eyes were serious as he said this, but Riku knew the Hikari boy well enough to realize he was joking. Sora chucked a piece of paper at his best friend and disappeared in the throng of students swarming the cafeteria.

As he ran through the halls in the direction of the parking lot, Riku took a moment to glance down at the bit of paper. It was a ticket to a musical playing in the Paopu Theater next week.

Riku grimaced. He knew exactly to apologize to Fuu….and it was going to result in him looking utterly ridiculous.

I can't do that. I need my dignity, he fiercely reminded himself.

"Hey, Mud Pie, where you going in a hurry? Looking for a new puddle after last night's rain?" a senior named Axel Igniz called out as Riku ran past.

What dignity? another inner part of him asked himself.

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Fuu Tacita had been awake for only a few hours, and all she could feel was pain.

Her stomach hurt—most likely from the food. Her throat hurt, and her mouth tasted like she had just eaten five year old dead cat meat.

Her innards began to twist themselves in ways that would make a contortionist jealous, and the silent teen resolved to abstain from all thoughts of eating or food.

Why did you do that? Fuu demanded of herself.

The answer didn't require many words. Riku.

Riku. Was she mad at Riku? Surely, she was upset about his cruel treatment last Tuesday….and throwing him into that mud puddle had sure been gratifying. But she'd obviously missed him enough to eat…

Her deep contemplation was broken by a sharp rap on the door, followed by the entry of her nurse, Naminé.

"A visitor for you, Miss Tacita," the blonde woman told her in her soft, gentle voice. "I'll leave you two alone. Ring if you need me." Naminé opened the door wider, and Fuu caught a glimpse of silver hair before the white-clad nurse disappeared, revealing Riku standing there, still in his school uniform, clutching a beat up…guitar?

The girl opened her mouth to banish him with an angry glare and a retort, but he held up a hand. Obediently, she closed it, electing to give her ex a chance to speak.

But he didn't. Speak, that is.

No. What he did was sing.

Now Riku Arianwen didn't do a lot of things. There was, as a matter of fact, a long metaphorical list of things that Riku considered himself too "dignified" or "manly" to do. And sitting comfortably in the number one spot on that list, above even wearing pink dresses or petting cute puppies, was singing.

Yet Riku was singing now. Not only singing, but strumming a few random, extremely out of key notes on the ancient guitar to accompany his own tuneless melody.

And not only that….he was singing a song Fuu knew. One of her very favorite songs, a fact that she concealed from most of the world for fear of being ridiculed….

"Your eyes

As we said our goodbyes

Can't get them out of my head.

And I find

I can't hide

From your eyes

The ones that took me by…um…surprise!

The night you came into my life

Where there's moonlight

I see your eyes.

How'd I let you slip away

When I'm longing so

To hold you?

Now I die

For one more day

Cause there's something I should have told you

Yes there's something I should have told you…

When I looked into your eyes.

Why does distance make us wise?

You were….

Here Riku paused, his fingers poised trembling over the worn down strings of his instrument. He blushed—Riku Arianwen actually blushed—as he looked into the eyes he'd just serenaded. "Um….I don't remember what comes next," he admittedly shyly. "I kind of didn't really know that song…and it's really hard to memorized music while you're driving in someone else's car…"

And Fuu smiled. Because it didn't matter anymore. Didn't matter that his singing was horrible, or that he really couldn't play the guitar at all, or that he didn't really know the song. Because Riku had just proved to her without a shadow of a doubt that he cared about her more than anything. More than himself, more than his ego, more than his dignity. What he had just done for her—all for her, all for Fuu Tacita, the thought sent real chills down her slim spine—had involved him performing many actions on the List of Things Riku is Too Manly to Do—singing, playing an instrument, apologizing, listening to show tunes, the list went on and on.

Aquamarine eyes locked with hazel, and suddenly the arguments seemed foolish. Suddenly, it no longer mattered that Fuu didn't eat, or that Riku was an egotist, or that he had cursed at her, or that she had shoved him into a mud puddle. Because she was grabbing his wrist and he was sitting on her bed and he was saying "I'm sorry" as she was saying "Thank you" and she was saying "Riku" as he was saying "Fuu" and they were laughing and crying and trying to get words out and everything was just so right.

And finally he managed a single sentence through the torrent of mixed emotion, a question actually, ventured in a tiny, tentative voice.

"So….am I forgiven?"

And she gave him an evil, vixenish smirk that caused his eyes to widen with worry and apprehension as a characteristic single word response exited her lips.

"Perhaps," Fuu said simply before pulling Riku in for a kiss.