EPIPHANY

A Sequel to "The Letter"

Part Four

Kitty raised her head from Matt's chest and smiled into his ruggedly handsome face. "Now, what else did you want to tell me?"

He paused, one large hand stroking her shoulder. He took a deep breath and answered, "Mike made out a will while I was there. We went into town and had it drawn up all legal and everything. If anything should happen to Mike, I'll bring Beth here...to Dodge...to live with me. I'll...I'll figure out the details if and when that time comes. I truly hope it never comes to that, Kitty, but if it does..."

'...if it does, of course she needs to live with you, Matt. I understand that. You said you're going to go back to see her again and again, and that's fine, too, but the next time you go, I want to go with you."

"Well, now, Kitty, I don't know..."

"I'd love to meet Beth. As for Mike...you told me three years ago that I'd like her, that we have a lot in common."

"Well, yeah, but..."

"Besides, if Beth ever does come here to live with you, you're going to need a woman to help take care of her. Shouldn't it be someone she already knows instead of a stranger?"

"You mean...you'd do that for me...for her?"

"Of course. Matt, Beth is your child. How could I not accept and love a child who is a part of you?"

Matt's features relaxed and he tugged Kitty upward so that his blue eyes, warm with love, could watch her face as he continued. "You should see her, Kitty. She's so tiny, but so full of love and goodness. There's no "bad" in her little world. Every day is a new adventure for her. We played together; we went on picnics; we picked desert flowers; we read stories; we took long rides on Buck. She climbed in my lap and called me 'Papa.' It was...I don't know how to explain it, Kit. You know I'm not very good at talking about feelings, but it was the most amazing experience I've ever had."

His face crinkled into a smile as he added, "Fact is, I love her so much. She's so...innocent, and I want to protect her and keep her that way forever."

Tears rolled down Kitty's face and he tenderly kissed them away. "You okay?"

She nodded against his chest and pressed her lips against the comforting warmth of his skin.

"Now here's the part that involves you, Kit. I had a lot of time to think on my ride back here, and I realized what I've denied you for all these years...all that you've given up for me. I've been a fool. Denying myself was one thing, but only a danged fool would deprive you as well. I'll never understand why you've put up with me all these years. Any number of men in Dodge, or Wichita, or New Orleans would gladly have given you the home and children you've always wanted. Why have you stayed with me?"

"Because, silly man, I'd rather live in these couple of rooms above the Long Branch and have what I have with you, than live with any other man in a grand house full of children. I don't want another man, and I don't want another man's children. I want you, Matt, and it's your babies I've always wanted to hold in my arms."

"That's what I want, too, Kit...for you...for both of us. I want you to feel what I felt...to know that...that incredible feeling the first time your child's arms go around your neck, to feel wet kisses on your face, to feel that warm little body curled up against you."

She stared at him. He couldn't possibly be suggesting what she thought, but it sure sounded as if... "Matt," she whispered cautiously, "what are you saying?"

"I'm saying I was wrong, Kitty. I've been thinking only of what I didn't want, not about what you've wanted...needed. I've been so selfish, honey, and I'm so sorry, but it's not too late for us, is it? I mean, we can still have a baby, can't we...if we really want to?"

Kitty's face glowed with a radiance that matched the morning sun. "Oh, Matt...are you sure? All these years you've said..."

"All these years I've been wrong; I've been stupid, selfish. Are you sure you want a foolish, not very bright, battered and scarred, past his prime lawman who loves you with all his heart to be the father of your children?"

Her deep blue eyes smiled into his. "More than anything in this world, Cowboy. More than anything."

The End