Characters are OoC not with the usual teases and blush...AU!

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Disclaimer: don't own anything...

Chapter 1:

The last strains of music drifted away. Outside the Officers' Club, a car tooted its horn, and a siren blared in the distance. There was a sharp crackle of fireworks.

With her arms still locked on Reito's neck, Shizuru stood in the middle of the crowded dance floor, the noisy crowd surging and shouting around her. Flecks of confetti were scattered in her brown hair, and a long red paper streamer was caught around her bare shoulders. She could hear the popping of champagne corks, the music breaking into a slow dance tune, and she knew she was more than a little tipsy.

She also felt a little reckless. She gazed up at Reito Kanzaki through her lidded eyes. The taste of his brief New Year kiss was still on her lips, and she suddenly felt that she wanted more. Pressing herself a little closer up against him, she tightened her hold on his neck and pouted prettily.

"Is that the best you can do, Reito-san?" she asked in a seductive tone.

The brown eyes shot open, he smiled and firmly reached behind him to pull her arms away. "I think you're a little drunk, Shizuru," he said calmly. "Either that or you're becoming a tease again." She tossed her brown head so that her tawny hair hanging to her shoulders swung against her cheeks and gave him a haughty look.

"Very well," she said, enunciating her words as clearly as she could. "Just remember it was your decision." She took a step backwards and bumped squarely into a couple dancing by. "Sorry," she muttered.

She stumbled a little trying to regain her balance and felt Reito's hand on her arms steadying her. He heaved a sigh, put his arm around her and began to lead her off the dance floor through the crowd.

"I'm going to take you home," he said sternly.

Her head had began to hurt, and a slight nausea was threatening to escalate into something really nasty. While Reito retrieved her coat, she walked slowly and carefully through the doors that led to the outside entrance.

It was a freezing, a chill December wind –no, January now, she amended- blowing off Tokyo. She hugged her arms tightly around her body and stood at the railing looking out at the street, black under the midnight sky, the lights of the clubs still out there sparkling against it.

Her head began to clear immediately in the cold night air. She wasn't really drunk, she thought, just a little woozy. By the time Reito cam through the door to wrap her coat protectively around her shoulders, she felt quite sober. The churning sensation in her stomach had settled down, and her headache was gone.

"Are you okay?" Reito asked.

She smiled at him. "Fine"

"Shall we go, or do you want to stay?"

Just then a noisy crowd of people came through the door, laughing and stumbling. One of the men was singing loudly off key, and a woman's high-pitched giggle rang out.

"Shizuru!" she screeched. "Come with us. We're going to the Officers' Club at Pier 27. Someone said there was free champagne and supper!"

Shizuru hesitated. She was tempted. It would be fun, she thought. More dancing, more good times, more drinking. She glanced up at Reito with an enquiring look. He only shrugged his shoulders.

"It's up to you. You're the boss."

Suddenly she felt very tired. The others had gone ahead towards the parking lot still shouting to her. "I guess not," she called after them. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?" Reito asked as they started walking slowly down the concrete stairs. "The party at the Harada's" she replied, taking hi arms. "They always have a big bash on New Year's Day." She waved her free hand vaguely in he air. "Everyone will be there. Aren't you going?"

He didn't reply until they reached his car. Then he turned and gazed down at her. "I take it by your question that you have a date already," he said stiffly.

She shook her head irritably and frowned. "Oh Reito, don't be tiresome!" She opened the car door and got inside. "It's not that kind of affair. Tomoe Margaruite is driving me, but you'd hardly call it a date."

She tucked her skirt around her legs. Reito closed the door and came around the front of the car to get in beside her. Before he started the engine, he turned and gave her a glance that was half indulgent, half annoyed.

"It looks at though I missed my chance out on the dance floor," he said with regret in his voice.

"That's nonsense, Reito," she said airily. "You were only being a gentle man." She smiled at him. "I count on that from an officer in the Air Force."

In the dimness, she could see the hungry look on his face and hear the sharp intake of breath as he watched her. He shoved his key abruptly into the ignition, and started the engine.

"Sometimes you are such a tease," he muttered as he backed out of the slot. "You just like leading me on, playing with me."

"That's not fair, Reito," she protested. "I've never led you on. I do apologize for what happened on the dance floor. I had a little more to drink than I'm used to, but you'll have to admit that doesn't happen very often."

They slowed down at the sentry box near the front Air Station. A young man in a Patrol Uniform glanced briefly at the sticker on the windscreen, stood stiffly to attention and saluted smartly.

"Goodnight, sir," he said formally.

"Goodnight, soldier" said Reito. "And Happy New Year."

The boy grinned. "Thank you, sir. Same to you, Commander Kanzaki, sir. And to you, too, Mrs. Kuga."

There was no mistaking the adoring look in his eyes as he grinned at her. Shizuru flashed him a broad smile and waved. "Thanks, Souji" she called to him. Reito turned abruptly on the sand point way.

"Good God, Shizuru," he grumbled. "Does every man and woman you meet have to fall in love with you?"

"You're very grouchy tonight, Reito," she said calmly as they headed north towards the house where she lived. "What's wrong?"

He didn't speak until they'd pulled up in front of the house. He switched off the engine, then sat staring blankly ahead for several moments, his hands still gripping the steering-wheel, apparently deep in thought. Finally, he turned to her.

"You must realize by now that I want to marry you, Shizuru," he said. "I've been in love with you for years-you know that. I'm sick of standing in line with all the others waiting for a handout." He moved slightly closer. "Say you'll marry me, darling. I do love you. I think you care for me."

The minute he began his speech, a cold chill clutched at her heart, and she sighed inwardly. It wasn't the first time she'd have to deal with such a situation, but it always made her sad. She did like Reito, and enjoyed his company. He was good-looking, mature, kind and had a brilliant career ahead of him in the Air Force.

She turned to him. "Reito-san" she said softly. "I told you from he beginning that I didn't want a serious involvement. I never lied to you. Outside of my one lapse tonight on the dance floor, for which I am truly sorry, I've never led you on."

"That's true," he admitted. "I was out of line to accuse you of it. But you've got to settle down some time, Shizuru. Why not do it with me?"

Her crimson eyes widened. "Why do I have to settle down? There's no law against just having fun is there?"

"Is that all you want from life, Shizuru? Just to have fun?" She shrugged. "What else is there?"

"What about marriage, a home, children?" He ran a hand over his hair. "Your whole life is one long round of parties, shopping and teas. There's more to you than that."

"Apparently not," she said lightly. "I like my life exactly as it is. I don't have to explain I tor apologize for it to you or anyone else." "Besides, I've already been married."

He snorted loudly. "Oh, come now, Shizuru! You've been a widow for five years now, and were married for all of eight months. You could hardly call that a marriage."

'He was right, of course,' she thought, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She could remember what her young wife looked like. She knew, too, that she used her long widowhood as a protection against serious emotional relationships, as though having been married once somehow absolved her from ever venturing into matrimony again.

In a way, it was even true. In spite of her frivolous reputation and pleasure-seeking lifestyle, she was at rare times aware of a more serious side of her nature. Certainly she had taken her short marriage seriously, and when Natsuki had been killed, she just knew she would never marry again.

"Surely you can't still be in love with Natsuki," Reito was now. "Still grieving over her."

She laughed. "Of course not. I was only a girl when I married her, barely twenty, and still was when she died. I don't think about her at all anymore. It was all so long ago. I'm a different person now."

"Are you, Shizuru? Are you really? Remember, Natsuki was my friend too. I knew you both even before you were married and you were the same then as you are now. You and Natsuki cared about was having fun."

She smiled at him again. "You still haven't convinced me that there's nothing wrong with that, Reito." She put a hand on his arm. "Look, you're a serious person, responsible, committed. You want to settle down, have a family. I don't. Neither did Natsuki, and that's why we get along so well."

"It's also probably why you've hardly given her a thought in all these years, too."

"Now, that's not fair" she said, stunned. "I did my share of grieving when she died. But you said it yourself, it was a very short marriage."

He put his hands over hers. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to criticize you or judge you. But now you're a woman, the most beautiful, the most desirable woman I've ever known." He laughed shortly. "You've got half the Air Force in love with you."

"Oh come on, Reito! No one's really in love with me at all. They just like to take me out because they know I'm not looking for a serious commitment. And also because my father's the Base Commander."

He gave her hand an impatient squeeze. "I'm not going to argue the point. All I know is that I'm in love with you, and I want to marry you. Say you'll at least consider it, think about it."

"No, Reito" she said without a moment's hesitation. "I can't do that. You say you're in love with me, but what you really want is to change me. You want me to be more serious, to make a home for you, probably have your children. I won't do that. Not for any man."

He frowned and opened his mouth to say something but she pushed the door wide open and got out to the pavement.

"Goodnight, Reito. Thank you for a lovely evening And Happy New Year."

She could feel him watching her as she ran lightly up the front walk on her high-heeled shoes, and it wasn't until she was safely inside, with the front door securely behind her and the lights turned on, that she heard him drive away.

Shizuru loved her house. It wasn't large, but every detail had been chosen with loving care. Natsuki's insurance money had left her the money to buy it, and the pension of an Air Force pilot killed in the line of duty was more than adequate to meet her needs. Her parents were well off, too and very generous and understanding with their only daughter, who was widowed so young. She'd never had to work and didn't need to marry again to provide for her.

She took off her high-heeled shoes and padded her feet across the thickly carpeted living room, turning lights on as she went and humming a little under her breath. Whenever she came home, day or night, she enjoyed just looking at her house again, each room perfect, each object a reflection of her own taste.

As she went up the carpeted staircase to her bedroom, Shizuru thought over her conversation with Reito, wondering if there were anything she should reproach herself for. She hated hurting anyone. Contented with her pleasant life and cheerful by nature, she liked things to run smoothly, and was a little annoyed at Reito for pressing her tonight over his desire to marry.

Of course men want to marry, she thought as she hung up her lovely fur, a gift from her parents on her twenty first birthday. They have all the advantages in marriage. She dropped her diamond earrings on her dressing-table and sat down to remove her make-up. She started to brush her hair, one hundred faithful strokes every night, no matter how late she came home. Good looks were maintained by these small disciplines, her mother had preached to her over an over again when she was growing up.

She took off her clothes and hung the dress carefully in the huge closet on a purple padded hanger. It was another of her mother's laws that in order to be well dressed, clothes had to be cared for, she stroked the fur, placed the shoes in their proper place on the shelf in the long row of others, and put her discarded underwear in the embroidered satin bag reserved for hand-washing that hung on the closet door.

She had nothing to feel guilty about, she decided, as she put on her nightgown and robe. Except for that one silly moment on the dance floor, she'd managed to keep Reito at a distance for years, promising nothing, not by a word, a glance, a gesture.

As she brushed her teeth in the adjoining bathroom, she wondered what in the world had possessed her to come on to Reito like that. He'd given her his usual New Year kiss, just a brief peck on the mouth, actually, when suddenly she'd wanted more than that. She'd been going on New Year parties with him for years, and she herself had limited extent of the kiss.

'It must have been the champagne,' she decided finally as she switched off the bathroom light and went back to the bedroom. She'd never felt remotely physically attracted to Reito in the past, or to any other of the numerous young men and women she'd gone out with through the years. When she reached out to turn off the bedside lamp, she realized that she wasn't sleepy in the least. She debated going downstairs to find something to eat, but long habit stopped her.

"If you want to keep your figure," her mother's voice rang in her ears, "you must never, ever eat in between meals."

With a sigh of regret, Shizuru reached for the remote and turned on the television. Perhaps one of the late-night shows would put her to sleep. She flicked buttons from channel to channel. Finally she decided on one of the talk shows and settled back on the pillows to watch the famous host banter back and forth with a well-known pop singer and a midget actress. it was so boring she thought shed's be asleep in five minutes.

She was in fact, just drifting off seconds later, when a loud voice broke into the commercial. "We interrupt this program to bring you a special news."

Her attention aroused, Shizuru opened her eyes drowsily to see the face of a familiar newscaster filling the screen, and in the next moment she heard his voice.

"We have just received word here in Tokyo that Natsuki Kuga, the Air force pilot who was shot down behind the Iron Curtain five years ago, has just been released."

'NATSUKI KUGA!'