Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem. I just like playing with the characters.

Summary: FE7. One-shot, CRACK. 'Tis the night before the wedding, and Serra and Florina are whispering and giggling together, looking as cozy as two peas in a pod... Wait, something's wrong with this picture...
Pairings: Oswin/Serra, Hector/Florina...
Rating: T

Notes: No comment. (3/29/2008: FIXED FOR SCENE BREAKS; EFF YOU FANFIC NET)

The Night Before

Two men were holding a one-sided conversation in the deserted corridors of Castle Ostia.

"So... I've been wanting to ask you this for a while, but tell me the truth: she blackmailed you into proposing, didn't she?"

Glare.

"I mean, there's just no way I can imagine anyone actually falling for that little minx. Much less an old man like you. Well... I guess her looks are all right. Maybe if she'd just shut up once in a while..."

Glare.

"Hm. Or maybe it's because she possesses certain other... charms..." Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

"... Somebody had to take care of that child."

"Hehehe! I knew it! I knew it!"

"Matthew..."

"Well, good luck, old man. With a wife like that, you're gonna need it! Hehehehe!"

"Matthew!"

o-o-o

At the other end of the castle, the young marquess of Ostia was pretty damn sure he was dreaming. Or sleepwalking. Whatever.

Because there was just no way he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. No way. Serra and Florina, sneaking around arm in arm, whispering and giggling...

There was something seriously wrong with that picture.

And Florina did not just let out a completely undignified snort. No way. He'd suspected she was hiding something underneath that shy exterior. But this? No way. Right? Right??

Huh. Maybe she was drunk. That sure had been some party earlier that night. (Hector made a mental note to double-check just where exactly Matthew had gotten ahold of that remarkably fine wine... because he had a very strong suspicion it was from his brother's old stores. Not that he knew, of course, the kind of stuff his brother had been hiding there. Not at all.) Then again, the ladies hadn't exactly been present -- probably for the best. Still, who said that the bride-to-be and her friend hadn't been holding a little party of their own? Hector rather fancied a drunken Florina...

Ahem.

"Oh Lord Hector!" Serra sang out. "There's no use hiding; we know you're there --"

Shit. How had they known? He crept out sheepishly from behind the column.

"You big lunk of a ruffian. You have absolutely no sense of subtlety, do you? We could hear you walking over from all the way across the hall! Though, it was more like stomping," she added with a haughty sniff.

Oh. He did have a tendency to walk as if he were still in his armor, even when he wasn't. Hey, that stuff was heavy!

Florina snorted again, looking very, very pink.

Oops. Had he just said that out loud? So much for impressing the girl.

"Well, never mind that. Now, I know you have nothing better to do than spy on two pretty, eligible young women, all alone in the middle of the night --" And to think she was getting married the next morning. How shameless could that woman get? "-- but you're going to have to save it for later, Lord Hector. Florina has something to say to you."

"Oh, really?" He tried to affect a tone of boredom, though he really was curious. Very. He'd thought they'd made enough progress by now that Florina felt comfortable enough approaching him herself, but she was shaking her head wildly, her mane of curls flying just about everywhere.

Interesting, that.

Serra gave Florina a not-so-subtle shove forward, resulting in yet another giggle-snort. Florina looked up at him. She was smiling. He rather liked her smile. Much better than her crying face... But now he was beginning to feel more than a bit antsy.

"Well, I'm waiting. You plan on taking all night?"

"Ummm... ummmm..." She mumbled something unintelligible.

"Eh? What was that?"

She beckoned for him to lean down so she could whisper in his ear. He obliged.

Soft, pliant lips pressed briefly against his own, then pulled away just as swiftly.

Whoo!

"Hey!" said Hector, brain working one step behind his hormones. He grabbed onto her before she could run away. She squirmed a bit in his arms, and he noticed that there was a huge, silly grin stretched across her face. "Hey, no stealing allowed in my castle."

He dipped down and kissed her back, then released her. "Kay, now you can go."

Apparently she didn't want to, because she leaned up and kissed him again.

... Oh yeah, definitely drunk.

Not that he was complaining.

"Lord Hector, have you seen -- Lord Hector!"

Uh-oh, it was Oswin. He and Florina hastily pulled away. Great. Now he'd probably start getting lectured yet again on proper behavior for a marquess blah blah blah...

"But milord, they were just getting to the good part!"

Oswin looked like he was getting a very, very bad headache.

o-o-o

As for what happened at the wedding the next morning... Well, that's a story for another day.

But just for the record, it was totally not on purpose that Hector sent Oswin to deal with the nearby bandit uprising right in the middle of the ceremony, thus delaying the actual wedding for another few months. Hector, despite his many acknowledged shortcomings, was not that much of an ass. And he was not at all a petty man. Really. Oswin was just the most capable man to handle the situation, that was all. And besides, Hector rather thought Oswin might appreciate the excuse to get away, what with the horrendous hangovers they had all woken up with, and the memories of Serra whining and nagging at them throughout the remainder of the night.

"In fact, my lord, that look on Serra's face this morning? Was totally worth it. Hehehehehe!"

"Matthew..."

"If only Leila were here to see this..."

"I mean..." Eyelash flutter. "No stealing allowed, huh? Hehehehehe!"

"Matthew!"

The End