Disclaimer: No, I do not own the characters of Gravitation. I'm just a loser writer with too much free time.
Warning: Death fic
I don't like this suit. It's too formal… too… bland… too overpriced… too..
Well, too nice to be sitting on the floor like this anyway.
I can't remember the last time I wore a tie. Never had much of a liking for them. They were just too tight, like a $200 noose.
He liked them though. When he found out how many I had, he'd insisted upon me wearing them. Smiling as he tied them on me in bed.
That damn brat, where is he? He nags me for hours to greet him when he comes home, and when I finally decide to, he's no where to be seen.
'Yuki!' I can hear his voice, screaming in my head 'Yuki! I'm home!'
Wood is really unforgiving. The backs of my thighs burn and my back is aching in protest. Now I understand why he whined so much when I'd take him on the floor…
Why do I smell like soil?
There's a creak behind me. I turn, an uncontrollable smile on my face as I think that my baka has somehow made it home before me. That he's snuck home, away from that place. Away from the sobbing onlookers, blank faces and unfelt apologies.
That place…
No… that was just a dream.
I crane my neck, expecting to see him dressed in something sexy. Something that'll send pulses to all the right areas. Perhaps the school girl uniform or the cat.
Maybe he'll be dressed as me, wearing only one of my oversized shirts and glasses…
Instead, I get silence.
Empty space.
Flowers catch my eye. Dozens upon dozens of them lay tosses haphazardly in the corner. Distantly, somewhere repressed within my memory I remember shoving them there. I remember the tearful faces, the tear stained cards and heaving sobs…
Why were they crying?
Why am I?
I reach up, wiping the tears off my cheeks, realizing that they've been falling, silently unnoticed for quite sometime.
When he gets home, he'll worry.
When he gets home, he'll wipe away my tears and make some stupid, nonsense joke, comparing me to some obscure pop culture reference.
When he gets home…
'He's home now…' Hiro's voice played in my head 'It's over. His pain has ended.'
Distantly, I remember agreeing.
'He's at rest…'
At rest? No.
He's coming home. After all, I'm out of cigarettes, and I need to send him to he store to buy more.
His pocky is still scattered over the kitchen counter.
His clothes in the dryer.
And I'm sitting in a $3,000 suit, waiting for him to come home.
Before I can stop it, a rush of memories flood into me.
His lithe, tiny body, writing in a hospital bed, bandaged and in pain.
His tearful eyes, as for days he tried to speak.
His hand, as it latched onto me, when even with drugs the pain became unbearable.
His soft, sweet last words.
His cold lips, unmoving beneath me.
That…
Damn…
Endless…
Beep…
But, he's coming home. He always comes home.
No matter how many times I chase him away. No matter how many times he's attacked and blown up.
He always comes home.
My tiny baka. That fucking idiot who makes me worry so much that I shake and tear my hair out in frustration. That I've increased my smoking tenfold. That I spend so much effort on not showing worry that I begin to stress and worry over looking stressed and worried.
That tiny simpleton who every night, regardless of what condition he's in, prances through my door, a smile plastered on his face, forces his arms around me and laughs.
My tiny baka.
He's coming home. He always comes home. I refuse to believe that he's gone.
No matter what the media says.
No matter what the crying mourners outside my building sob.
Screw them.
Fuck his band mates.
Fuck his parents.
Fuck these memories.
None of them know Shuichi I like I know Shuichi. I know that he is indestructible. Unbreakable. You can break and hurt him and all he'll ever give you is stubborn, forceful love.
No matter what those doctors said.
No matter where they placed his tiny body. In that small windowless box, 6 feet under ground.
He'll still come home. Come back to me.
He has to.
The tears are back again. I'm shaking so hard I can't control myself. The sobs are choking up out of my body so fast that it's hard to breath. I fall over, clutching my chest, attempting to hold the two halves of my heart together.
Suddenly, unbearable pain washes over me. Pain so intense that I can't bear it.
I force my eyes shut.
'Shuichi.' I wonder, my body trembling 'If I close my eyes tight enough. If I plug up my ears and heart. If I shut out the rest of the world, will you come back to me? If I erase these blood red memories? If I push back all this pain and see none of it?
If I can push it all away, will the pain disappear? Will you be here again?
Can you wish for something, so hard, so much, with every ounce of your being, so intensely and passionately that it comes true?
If so, Shuichi, can you come back to me? Erase that accident and the scars on your beautiful body? The broken bones and pain in your eyes? Your cold skin, bandages and tears?
Will you lie under me again? Call my name like it's the most beautiful name in the world. Scratch my back so hard it leaves marks and kiss me so long it takes my breath away?
Will you come home, with that innocent chibi-ish smile? Will you jump into my arms and over me with that warm, sweet smelling scent of you? Will you chase all my memories away, remove the pain, angst and emotional scaring from my soul?
Will you just be my baka?
Shuichi, if I wish hard enough, will you just… come home?
Walk through that door, so my lips can utter the words I've been yearning to say for what seems like an eternity:
"Welcome home, Shuichi."
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A.N. I know. I know. I swore I wouldn't do a death fic, but I couldn't help myself. In the middle of the night this idea just came to me, and I had to write it. Sorry for the cliffy by the way. I'm not gonna lie though, I don't think that this is my best work. It's a bit rushed, but I just saw this image of a mourning Yuki in intense denial and I just went with it. I'm debating if I should leave this as a one shot or add another chapter. What do you guys think.