Virginia Woolf : "I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in."
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Gio turned the key on the lock to his apartment after dropping Hilda home from their night out at the club. He hadn't really had that much to drink. Right now, he wished he would have. Some days, this life, this life he has chosen to live is too much.
Always the one everyone expects to be the perfect man, you know? Perfect son, perfect older brother, perfect uncle, perfect hanyman, etc. He doesn't think he'll ever succeed at any of it, ever. It's like he's always had this box that he can't step outside of…like he's trapped in there. Anymore, he doesn't know how to get out. He walks around the living room. He unbuttons his cuffs, rolling them up before undoing the top couple buttons on his shirt, exposing the skin of his throat.
He falls down on the couch and laughs hearing Hilda's voice in his head.
"You just really seemed to up your game when Betty showed up."
He didn't up his game for Betty, he upped his game for Henry.
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Yesterday
"Gio, hey it's Betty, listen, I need a favor."
"Sure, what's up ?"
"Hilda bought this used sink for her salon and we need someone to pick it up and bring it to the house. Since you have the van and all…..do you think…..you could….."
"Pick it up and bring it to the house ? Sure, no problem. Give me the address and I'll bring it by in the morning."
Betty gave him the address.
"What time do you think you'll be here because Henry is coming by to install it."
"Egg Salad is going to install the sink ?"
Gio cringed.
"Yes…..he can do it. What time ?"
"I don't know, ten-ish."
"Perfect, thanks Gio."
They hung up and Gio went back to what he had been doing.
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Earlier Today
Sitting having a beer with Hilda watching Henry try to fix the sink was amusing if nothing else. Betty held the Time Life book above him while he tried in earnest to get the thing working but soon enough it was evident that even those books were not going to do the trick. And, when water flowed out of the pipes and all over him, it was almost call for laughter. But, then, there was the fact that he was all wet, that the shirt he was wearing was clinging to him like a second skin. So, it had seemed kind of inappropriate.
When Hilda had asked him to go out with her, he had done what he always did, stayed inside his safe manly box and said yes.
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Later, once the sink had been completed, everyone had gone to the living room or dining room. Gio had come in cleaning his hands from completing the installation and saw that Justin had dressed Henry in something hideous. Gio was surprised that Henry would allow it. The shirt was too tight and the pants too lo-slung revealing skin that Henry was probably not interested in revealing although Betty seemed to appreciate it without outright drooling over him.
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Gio had expected, actually hoped that Hilda would try to get Betty and Henry to go along with them. As it turned out, he didn't even have to do any manipulating to make that happen, Hilda had just gushed about how fun it sounded and Betty had jumped at her enthusiasm.
Henry however, had not seemed as enthused and Betty had quickly declined the invite stating that they already had plans. It probably was a good thing, Gio wasn't sure he could watch all of their lovey-dovey hand holding smooching all night.
Gio had all the right ideas about romance, he knew he did. He just didn't have the right person in his life to share them with and probably never would. But, he had a plan for his life and he was happy with the plan. So, even when he ran across the distractions, like Henry, he quickly put reality back in place and moved forward.
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Later that night at the club, he and Hilda had sat having a drink after dinner. The place was jumping and Hilda seemed to be having a good time. She was fun and made Gio laugh. They talked about her plans for the salon and a little about Justin. She was a fun Queens girl, the kind he was always friends with, always related to and had fun with and he was content with that, content to be himself for a change. And, with a few drinks in her, she didn't notice the subtle difference in him. He had smiled and looked around the room.
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Next thing he knew, Betty and Henry had shown up. Henry did not seem to be too happy to be there and while Gio was happy to see them, the real him, secretly wished he was home enjoying a sundae bar and a movie.
As Hilda reminded him later, he found himself perking up at their arrival, tried to impress by buying a round of drinks, flaming ones at that, but Henry shot him down trying to take control of the situation in front of Betty.
When Betty started fussing over Henry, it was all Gio could take, especially after she suggested Gio teach Henry some dance moves and a inappropriate visual of that went through Gio's mind, so he jumped up and asked Hilda to dance.
She agreed and they tried to get Henry and Betty to join them. While Betty seemed eager to get out there, Henry was not. Gio was glad, he wasn't sure he wanted to see them dancing so close together, laughing and smiling all googly-eyed over each other.
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Gio doesn't know what happened after that, the next thing he knew, Henry was on fire, and he and Betty were arguing over something. Gio watched as Henry stormed out of the club with Betty looking on. Gio stopped himself when instincts made him want to run after Henry to comfort him and make sure he was okay. He realized that this distraction was becoming somewhat bothersome and seemed to be invading his carefully laid façade more than most.
After Hilda made sure Betty was okay, he and Hilda continued dancing. He watched Hilda constantly watching Betty as she tried to call Henry, but doesn't seem to be having any success. Gio's mind wandered and then he saw Henry come onto the dance floor from somewhere. He was wearing a tank-undershirt and based on what Gio had seen of him earlier in the day, he was not surprised to see how ripped Henry is.
Gio laughed. The robot. This guy will do anything.
Hilda nudged him just as Henry was throwing his shirt off and pointing at someone. Of course, Betty. She smiled back at him and started walking toward the dance floor. Everyone is watching Henry, so Gio took the opportunity to do the same. He's not sure what moves Henry was doing, the sprinkler maybe, some Thriller and some Russian dance.
And Gio knows, that is what true love is all about…..really being yourself, no matter how silly you look, no matter how much you are out of your comfort zone, no matter what people might say because you love someone that much. He hasn't ever let anyone get that close but he knows that is what it is all about.
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Soon Henry and Betty leave and Gio knew that they will go home and continue their evening in each others arms and that he will take Hilda home, make her think he had a great time and offer to take her out again, and if she agrees he will because that is what he does, that is the life he has chosen.
But, she had been a little more perceptive than most and realized his mind was elsewhere. She just is a little off on exactly where. He left her house and headed home, his secret still safe.
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And, now he sits on the couch and thinks to himself. Seventeen weeks and three days and he can also move on with his life because this latest distraction will be gone.
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Oscar Wilde : "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."
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Please, no flaming, if you don't like the pairing, don't read and review.