Chapter One: Excuse Me, You're

Hello, my name is……… well let me explain about me first. It's always good to know a stranger before you know their name. My life had been like any other 16 year olds, with a mom and dad in a moderate sized house. It wasn't bad; it wasn't particularly good, but not bad. I'm not hideously deformed or anything… in fact many people said I should become a model. I, on the other hand, don't like my looks at all. My straw-like yellow hair (which everyone said looked like golden silk) and too white skin made me feel… inadequate. My parents don't think I'd be a good model either. They say I'm too ugly and other people are just trying to be nice.

Most see me as the goody-goody who always tries to get on my teachers good graces. A teacher's pet, if you will. I didn't want to be, but to get ahead in life…well, there needed to be sacrifices. Mine was the chance of becoming popular, or liked for that matter. Good grades were always a plus in my family, though. If I came home with one C my parents would disown me. Trust me, I've had experience.

Sometimes though, I would get hit by mom if I stayed up to late, or dad for looking to girly. They didn't do it because they hate me, they're just looking out for my well-being. If I stay up to late, my grades would slip and if look too girly I'll get picked on. Yes, everything they did was for my well-being.

My life was a very sheltered one. I wasn't aloud to watch black music videos or go to the poor part of town. Heck, I wasn't even aloud to stay outside after 5 pm.

My mom once told me if I swore my tongue would fall out and Satan would burn my soul, so I never swear. Ever. A lot of kids at my school do though. Every 5 minutes you hear "Fuck this" or "Holy shit", I mean, gosh, why can't they lay off the bad language.

I've never looked at porn either. I know a lot of the boys at my school have. This one kid, Kenny, brings it to school everyday and all the guys huddle around him. I don't see why it's so interesting to look at naked women and their breasts. Not that I've looked, but it just sounds way to icky. That and my mom said if I looked at porn my eyes would fall out.

I've never had friends to share my secrets with or to help me if I need it. I've tried to make friends, but they always laugh at me. Always calling me names like "Butterscotch" and "Fag". I don't know why. I mean, I've never done anything to them. They like to call me fag a lot, even though I'm not. At least, I don't think I am…I've never been attracted to anyone before. Relationships never appealed to me, cause they always seem to cause trouble. I don't really know the first things about relationships.

When I was 8 they used to call me fag all the time. I didn't really know what it meant, so I asked my dad. My answer was slap to the face. I was grounded for a month. I decided to ask my teacher, Mr.…uh MS. Garrison, what it meant. I learned that day that it was a derogatory word that meant gay. Now that I'm 16 I've learned to live with the nickname. However, there are REAL gay people at our school, like Stan and Kyle. I heard they started dating in 7th grade and have kept strong for 3 years. You know what they say, strong friendships brings strong relationships. Wendy wasn't too happy I heard, though.

Stan and Kyle are friends with Kenny, the poor boy who brings the porno magazines, and Cartman. Those four guys ALWAYS pick on me, especially Cartman. They always call me names or don't acknowledge me when the boys have meetings to plot against the girls.

However, recently, Kenny has been hanging out with me more…I wonder why? I mean, I've never talked him before… not even when I do hang out with their group, which isn't often. He's been really nice to me and even offered to buy me lunch when I forgot my money despite his poverty. It's starting to make me worried. My mom always told me if people are nice to you, they want something like money or a blowjob…. Either way I'm beginning to get more and more anxious. What if he's planning on humiliating me? Oh hamburgers… I hope not. I don't need any more public humiliation from them. Well, speak of the devil here comes Kenny now……………

"Hey Butters!"

Hello, my name is Butters Stotch and this is my life.