A/N: Yes, it's been done before. But after watching Be All My Sins Remember'd, this plot bunny bit me in the $$ and refused to let go. And, I figured I might as well post it before it becomes obsolete after this week's episode. Enjoy.
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Family Secrets
by Alternate Ego
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The Replicators were destroyed, the Wraith were back as enemies, and a sort of unofficial alliance had been established with Larrin's people. All in all, Sheppard considered it a good day's work. Mission accomplished, job done.
Except for one, tiny little thing. The thing that, even at this hour of the night, still nagged at him.
Teyla was pregnant. Three months pregnant, and two months knowing – and she'd never told him.
What. The hell. Had she been thinking?
Sheppard turned over on his bed and scowled at the ceiling, consumed by his thoughts. With the danger that they put themselves through every time they stepped through the Stargate, and she hadn't told him? Not only was she endangering herself, she was endangering the team. She was endangering that tiny life that resided inside her. He didn't care if Athosian women worked when pregnant, and he didn't care how fit Teyla was – being pregnant had to affect your game. It might have been a small disadvantage, but that disadvantage could be the difference between life and death.
He hadn't known. He'd thought she was just feeling a little off... he'd pushed her into going off-world to help evacuate people. If, God forbid, something had happened – he'd have been indirectly responsible. It would've been his fault. Maybe that reasoning was a little twisted, but there it was, and it haunted him.
He was responsible for his team. He had to make decisions for them. And if he wasn't fully informed – then his decisions could hurt all of them. Teyla had to know that. Why hadn't she told him?
Had she been afraid? But of what? Sheppard frowned, trying in vain to make sense of it. Had she been wary of how he and the others might react? Embarrassed? What if she hadn't meant to get pregnant? What if the father (whoever he was) had dumped her before going AWOL? His hands clenched at the thought, the scowl deepening. Any man who had Teyla's heart was one lucky bastard – if he ever hurt Teyla -
But he was jumping to conclusions. The fact was, he didn't know why Teyla hadn't told him... he'd been to busy storming off after pulling her from the team.
Something inside him squirmed guiltily. Maybe the reason Teyla didn't tell you about it was because she knew you'd react like this, a voice whispered in his ear. Maybe she knew you'd get all huffy and kick her off the team...
"With good reason! She's pregnant!" John snapped aloud. "And I do not get... huffy." He paused and sighed, muttering, "Great, now I'm talking to myself."
This was pointless. He was going around in circles trying to figure out what was going on in Teyla's mind. After he'd come back from the mission, Teyla hadn't been there. Was she angry? Hurt? Offended?
His gut twisted again. He'd never even congratulated her. Weren't you supposed to congratulate pregnant women?
She was probably hurt. But then again, so was he. Why hadn't she told him?
She didn't tell Ronon or Rodney, either. Or Carter. What makes you so special?
Throwing off the covers, Sheppard sat up and swung his legs over to the side of the bed, staring at the floor. Because they were friends. No, not just friends. Family. They weren't supposed to keep secrets this huge. If their positions had been reversed, he wouldn't have kept it quiet for two months.
You wouldn't have? the voice challenged. You, always risking your life for others – you wouldn't have kept it a secret in order to stay on the team? Get real. You could be diagnosed with incurable cancer and have only five months to live, and you'd keep it secret, just to keep going on missions.
"Oh, shut up. Who's side are you on, anyway?" Sheppard growled irritably.
The voice was smug. Teyla's. Duh. She's hot, you're not.
John winced. If only Rodney could hear this. "Oh my GOD, even your creepy conscious voice is a womanizer..."
John scrubbed a hand over his face and hair. "Damnit, Teyla." Why did women have to be so complicated?
He needed to talk with her. Figure out what was going on... apologize, if necessary.
Decided, he stood and grabbed a jacket, pulling it on as he headed towards the doorway. It opened before he could think the command, though, revealing Teyla.
"Oh. Hey." John blinked. "We have got to stop doing that."
She half-smiled, and John felt his eyes being drawn to her belly. How had he not noticed, anyway? Now that he knew, it seemed painfully obvious.
"Look, I..."
"John..."
They paused, having spoken simultaneously. The silence lasted only a few seconds before they both blurted out,
"I wanted to apologize."
Teyla's eyebrows rose in surprise. "John, you have nothing to be sorry about," she said. "It was... it was wrong of me to keep my pregnancy private. I... I just..." she faltered, and John realized that maybe even she didn't know why she hadn't told him.
Great. Why did women have to be so complicated?
"You didn't want to be booted off the team?" John guessed. "You knew my overprotective streak would kick in and and make you stay where it's safe?"
Teyla looked surprised again. "Yes, I suppose that was part of it." She hesitated. "But – that is not all. Among my people it is customary that the father should be the first to know about a pregnancy, before celebrations commence." Teyla's eyes went glassy. "John... the father of my child... he does not know. He disappeared before I knew about the child. All of my people disappeared before I knew." She swallowed hard, audibly, and looked down. "I know it is silly, but – telling you – telling you all before I told the father or my people – it felt as if I were giving up, like admitting I would never..." She broke off, unable to continue.
John stood shock-still, speechless. "Oh."
Oh.
God, he was such an ass. He'd known that the disappearance of her people must be hard on Teyla. And it could only be made all the harder by the knowledge that she could not celebrate her pregnancy with them. That she might never celebrate her pregnancy with them.
One and one make two, Sheppard. You are an idiot.
"Teyla, I'm sorry. I didn't realize." He reached out, taking her hand and pulling her into a fierce hug. "But I've told you before – you are my family," he murmured in her ear. "Granted, part of a family that has had a few blows," his mind flashed to Elizabeth and Carson, something that never failed to make his gut wrench painfully. "But that only means we have to stick together more. If something happened to you... if I'd still been in the dark and you'd been injured or killed because of it... I'd never be able to live with myself."
"It would not have been your fault," she whispered, head still buried in his shoulder.
"Yes, it would have," he insisted firmly. "Even if I wasn't directly responsible – I'd never forgive myself." He hugged her tighter, thinking of Elizabeth – he would never be able to hold her like this again. He couldn't loose Teyla, too. He just couldn't.
"I know. John, I'm sorry."
"It's okay." He drew back, releasing her from the hug but keeping his hands on her shoulders as he looked her in the eye. "We're going to get your people back, Teyla. I promise."
"You cannot promise such a thing."
"Maybe not. But I can sure as hell do everything in my power to help you find them," John said, holding her gaze with an intense one of his own.
She nodded, and for the first time today, he saw her smile. "Thank you."
"That's what family is for." He paused, glancing down at Teyla's abdomen and feeling suddenly and ridiculously shy. "So... about the kid..."
Teyla's smile widened, and she took John's hand, placing it over her stomach. "Dr. Keller tells me that in a few weeks, I will be able to feel her kicking."
John went absolutely still, awed at the thought that underneath his hand was a tiny life. "So it's a she, then?"
"I do not know yet," Teyla replied. "I wish for it to be a surprise."
John smiled. "I never did congratulate you. So, a belated congratulations to you."
Teyla laughed and put her forehead against his in the Athosian way. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it." He would have hugged her again, but he decided that Junior might be better off without the crushing displays of affection. "Want to go to the mess hall for a late dinner?" he offered. Glancing at his watch, he amended, "Okay, early breakfast."
"It is night."
"You need to eat," he countered.
She raised an eyebrow. "I also need to sleep."
"Humor me."
Her eyes took on an amused glint, and she replied, "Very well. An early breakfast, then."
As they set off down the hallway, Sheppard began, "You know... John is a great name."
-Fin-