He always takes such good care of me, Ritsuka thought idly as he hopped up onto the kitchen counter to watch Soubi cook.

He's always asking what I want to do, where I want to go. He's almost as good of a big brother as Seimei!

The idea made Ritsuka insanely happy, a fact proven by the grin on his face and the swishing of his tail. Even so, Ritsuka felt as though he could only go to a certain point with Soubi, but no farther. Soubi was, after all, Seimei's boyfriend, right? In theory, Soubi had to be someone very important to Seimei. Ritsuka was always very careful of that fact, even though neither he nor Soubi ever ventured onto the subject. If Soubi was this kind to Ritsuka, his friend, he must have been even more kind and caring towards Seimei, his lover! Ritsuka didn't want to monopolize all of Soubi's generosity.

However... at the same time…

Ritsuka wanted to possess it.

Ritsuka liked Soubi, and while he wasn't sure of the extent of which he did, he was well aware of it. He knew that he liked spending time with Soubi, he knew he liked it when Soubi hugged him, and he knew that the memory of Soubi and Seimei in bed together made him oddly jealous. Ritsuka first theorized that he had been jealous of losing his brother to a lover, and maybe that had been the truth once. Now, Ritsuka knew that he was jealous of losing Soubi to Seimei.

He wasn't sure why, or even if he had a reason, all Ritsuka knew was that seeing those two together felt wrong, very wrong. Seeing Soubi and Seimei together made Ritsuka feel wrong, as though he wasn't doing all that he could do, or that he wasn't saying all that he could say. It was like drowning in a sea of insignificance, rolling in half-truths, living off mediocrity. Somehow, Ritsuka felt as though he wasn't doing enough!

But…

What more could he possibly do?