Author's note: Hey, so I sorta decided to write a poem for National Treasure: Book of Secrets because someone requested that I do so on my other poem It's All the Shoelace's Fault! Hope you enjoy this, but don't read unless you've seen the movie! This poem is based off of a line in the movie, sort of towards the end, when Riley says "Why couldn't a girl see me do that?"

Disclaimer: National Treasure rocks, but it's not mine. It's fun to write about it though. -

Why Couldn't A Girl See Me Do That?! (In Riley's POV)

"Oh great, we managed to do it again

I went treasure hunting with my good buddy, Ben

I guess nothing had gone well me or him

The IRS took my Ferrari and Abigail totally dumped him

When he comes to my house Ben then said some old balding Southern dude

Had proof that Ben's great-grandpa was in it with Wilkes Booth

There was of course no way Ben would stand for that

So, somehow us three managed to pull Boullel lady from our hat

Now, why couldn't a girl see me do that?

Ben and I were then on our way

To prove the Gates honest in Europe far away

To Buckingham Palace Boullel's Lady did insist

Where Ben and Abigail fought as love-bird tourists

So then I, from behind my most brilliant station—(okay, a bathroom stall with the toilet lid down)

Led them to the first resolute twin, their desired destination

With the clue in their hands, we made our escape out

While the other guy in the bathroom was getting a major freak out

Okay, so how much fun was that?

But why couldn't a girl see me do that?

Though not but five minutes after as I twirled the wood plank in my hands

Wilkinson and co were shooting at us, man!

They came out of nowhere, how the heck did they find us?

Wait, can't talk now; they were still right behind us

All throughout London they did give chase

It would take the plank to get them off our case

Ben threw the plank into the cold disgusting river

But not before getting a traffic cam picture, which I delivered

How? By hacking, which I'm totally good at

Now, why couldn't a girl see me do that?

Back in the States Ben had no luck with the symbols except Cibola

So he brought up his mom as translator, how simple; nuh-uh

The president's resolute desk we figured was where to find the puzzle's other side

Wait, it was gone when Ben looked inside

In its place, a seal with an eagle and a scroll

The president's Book of Secrets, I knew inside it would hold

Having not read my book, I sure showed Patrick, Abigail and Ben

Now, why couldn't a girl see me do that then?

So suddenly Ben had decided

To kidnap the president from the house where Washington resided

Ben had led him through an old underground cellar

At least he'd gotten some time together

Ben got the numbers and code he needed

And then to the Library of Congress we proceeded

Abigail led us up through the maze of stairs

When we found the book, I could do nothing but stare

I had proof that the Book of Secrets was fact

Now, why couldn't a girl see me do that?

Of course, I had to put my excitement on hold

Because the "tattle-tale" president of our whereabouts he'd told

Is there never an end to our close cut escapes?

Abigail's car lost its bumper going through the metal gates

Ben's mom was kidnapped, we found the next day at Mount Rushmore

And Queen Victoria's letter was, sadly, no more

Ben cleverly talked Mitch into a temporary truce

And w continued on together, Emily now let loose

Well, I didn't do anything, but I was still there

Now, why couldn't a girl see me do that there?

Pouring water on the rock, Abi found the noble bird

Ben reached in and completely played us, the nerve

He pulled the latch and revealed Cibola's entrance

By what was inside we all were entranced

I walked over and touched an old rope, not even a tap

It was just enough though for it to snap

Debris fell upon us and the stone door shut

It would've been nice to leave then, but we infamous six would have no such luck

As we looked for a way out of the musty stone room

I then had a weird, extreme sense of déjà vu

A little golden man was before me staring back

Now, why couldn't a girl see me do that? (She'd have at least gotten a laugh)

Not but seconds after walking towards it

Ben, Abi, Mitch, and I were in a pickle we didn't like one bit

Ben and I almost fell off the tablet and would've gone splat

But it took all four to pull off this screwy balancing act

There was a rope and wood ladder that would for sure save our lives

Mitch the snitch was to go first, Abi second while Ben or I was to be left behind

I so bravely volunteered to be their sacrifice

A word of "no, we need you, Riley" would've been nice

They never got to take me up on that offer

As Ben forced me to go when the tablet's frame began to falter

With one great jump and a rolled golden idol

I thankfully managed to grab his hand before he could fall into a black hole

Just to be a comic-relief wise-crack

I added "Why couldn't a girl see me do that?"

The next part of our journey through this deadly Aztec cave

Was to get all the water going into the chamber, from their pipes not to escape

We four turned the heavy stone wheel

And watched as stone barriers stopped the watery spiel

The water cleared revealing a path down to a secret of old

Oh my God, it was The City of Gold!

Patrick and Emily showed up there too, how amazing

What'd they do? Go rickety cave swinging?

Emily was speechless at the glyphed alter, nearly baling her eyes out

While Ben took a look and said it was where they cut the throat and heart out

Abigail and Mitch were just plain ecstatic

And I tried to take a gold brick; that's me, no doubt about it

We found the City of Gold; the treasure-hunting crazies are back

Now, why couldn't a girl see me do that?

Oh great, guess what happens next

The stone barriers had burst from being overstressed

As cleverly as Ben, Patrick found a door where the water would drain

Though Mitch's need to leave was somewhat insane

In a panic, Mitch punched Ben, then me and took a knife to Abi's neck

Ben decided he would be the one left to die in an unavoidable wreck

I voted Mitch to be left for dead

Man, I wanted him to get it for hitting me in the head!

It was too late; Mitch saw reason as the current became too strong

I really am sad to say this was one search that had all gone wrong

When we finally, truly made out into fresh air

You know that Sadusky was definitely there

He took us, Ben, Abi, and I, to the president himself

Now, why couldn't a girl see me do that?

Again Ben eluded time in the clink

Thomas Gates was proven innocent, what do you think?

When the president said who the credit would go to

Ben brought up that Mitch should be credited too

Ben, Abi, and I watched some fireworks that night

I met a girl who read my book, alright!

Ben and Abigail kissed and made up

I think I was too distracted with the girl I met to throw up

I would not have wanted a girl to see that…

The next day I went walking in front of my place

And I noticed something of mine that had finally been replaced

My Ferrari was back and reunited for good!

And when I saw the president's note, I hoped I hadn't misunderstood

The note said "Tax free", oh man that was cool

I hopped in the front, breaking the number one rule

I forgot my seatbelt, but I didn't care

I just couldn't wait to feel the wind in my hair

Starting up the car, I knew this would be some ride

But I put the car in reverse instead of drive

I hit the trash cans with a noisy clatter

At least no one saw, that's all that mattered

THANK GOD A GIRL DIDN'T SEE THAT!"

"So, is it as good as the first one?" Riley asked eagerly.

"Um, Riley, not to kill your happiness, but, that last line isn't exactly true."

"What do you mean, Ben?" Riley laughed nervously and his face blanked. "Oh gees, what'd you do, Ben?"

Ben and Abigail looked at each other guiltily, Abigail starting with a smile. "Well, when we heard the president was getting you back your car, we put a camera in the tree and…uh, wecaughtthewholethingontapeandsentittoAmerica'sFunniestHomeVideos." She muttered quickly.

Riley just stared and nodded…and nodded, and nodded. Then he walked out of Ben and Abigail's mansion living room.

"Well, he took that better than expected." Abigail smiled to Ben who shook his head.

"Nope…one…two…three…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"Hhm, you're right." Ben nodded approvingly. "He did take it better than we thought."

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

End

AN: Yeah, this was just a revision because I accidentally posted the one that didn't save my corrections. Don't you just hate that? I think this one is better though. Tell me which one is best! -