Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Characters. Only the plot is mine.
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.
"You…don't…want me?" I tried out the words confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
"No."
I woke with a jolt, remembering the day He finally left me. It's been a year and a half since that day. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if He never came back, he promised me I would not, see him again. But since He left I had been spending a lot of time with Jacob. We'have gone on dates, and he did not't hold himself back like…Edward…would. It was a healthy relationship, in some aspects, that I had not had before.
I sat up slowly, and looked at the window. My mind reeling at the pain in my heart thinking of how much I wish He would climb through the window right now. How I needed him to hold me, I wanted to feel his cold touch around my waist. Instead, I had warm strong arms around me. I looked at Jacobs face as his head resting on my pillow. Yes, this had to be better…right?
"Morning, Hon." He murmured sleepily. His voice husky from sleep, or had it always been like that?
"Morning, Jake." I replied, absently resting my hand on his back. Normally Edward would have been sitting in the rocking chair I kept in the corner of my room. When my eyes traveled there, the chair had been replaced nothing was there.
Ah, that's right, I'm heading to college today. Jake was not coming with me either, he was still a year behind me, but he said he'd visit me. He had not broken a promise to me yet.
"Bella?" His voice anxious, "You know today might be the last time I get to sleep here for a while, right?"
I had not thought of that, since He had left me, Jacob had been sharing the bed with me, keeping me company. Tonight was the first night I had dreamed about Him, reliving the thoughts.
"I know I'm going to miss it." I slid back down so I was lying away from him; my eyes locked in the corner of the room where I wish Edward were sitting. I felt Jacob put his arms around me, and I felt uneasy letting him do this, like I was betraying Edward. No, he was the one who left me; I am free to do what I want.
"How much?" Jacob asked, sliding his lips from my ear to my jaw line. No matter how much he loved me, he was not't Edward. He can't replace him, but Jake did not't know that, I never told him to stop. But this time I would. I pushed him away and saw surprised flicker in Jakes eyes, before he looked upset.
"Do you want me to leave?" He whispered.
"No, but I have to go take a shower, and finish packing." I lied. Since Edward had left, I'have gotten very good at lying. It was not't something I was proud of, but it sure helped. I stood and got my clothes I was going to wear today Jeans and a Blue shirt. I smiled at Jake, as he climbed out my window, he winked before he dropped out of sight.
It was the first time in a long time that I went and sat in the corner of my room and just cried. Before I would not't have been able too the pain was too much, and I was too shocked. But now after a year or so later, I could finally cry. I had stopped putting my arms around my chest because it upset Jacob, but I did that now. I heard a melody playing around in my head, Edwards Lullaby. Hearing it just made me cry harder.
"Bella," A quiet velvety voice spoke. I looked around frantically, till my eyes fell on a face in the window. His bronze hair was tousled; his golden eyes were wide and scared. My heart broke, just looking at him. I stood up and walked to the window quickly, wanting to touch him just once more. I tripped, and hit my knee on the floor, I was ready for my face to hit the ground and feel the pain, but cool arms wrapped around me.
"Edward," I whispered, and cried again, in his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, so, so sorry."
"Bella, what are you sorry for, Bella I lied to you."
"Edward," My mind reeled, and then I realized that I did not't want him, no I did not't need him any more. I stood up and looked at him, my heart pained just looking at him. He was the reason I felt this way; he was the reason for my pain. But I still loved him oh yes; I still loved him.
"Get out." I spoke quietly but I knew he heard me.
His eyes went from confused to pained, to anger. He had no right to be angry, he's the one who left me, and he was the one who caused me so much pain.
"Isabella, let me explain myself. I never," He started to explain.
"I'm with Jacob, you are not allowed here. It's your fault. I said get out."
"Jacob!" He yelled, his eyes were only angry now.
"Yes Jacob. I was considering Mike, but you know he had Jessica, and Jacob, he loves me. He would not't ever leave me."
"I love you too." He whispered.
"Yes but you left me."
"I had to."
"No, you did not't. You chose! Now it's my choice, and I'm still upset, and I asked you to get out." I murmured.
"You have every right to be, but you have to hear my side."
"I'have heard it. I remember it every day. 'Bella, I don't want you to come with me.'" I spat at him. His eyes flashed, and his head turned toward the window.
"Bella?" I heard Jacobs voice. I smiled painfully, and looked at Edward.
"Bella, listen, I'm not leaving you again, not again... Understand?"
"I said get out."
"I love you Bella, I always have."
"I don't care."
With that he was gone. Jacob appeared in the window, "Ew, what's that smell?"
I smiled and Jacob walked over and gave me a kiss. My eyes trailed to the door where I saw Edwards pained face. I knew I had to get over him; he was never good for me.
"Hello Jacob." I whispered against his lips, "What a great way to start off the day huh?" I spoke softly; Jacob was still playing with my hair.
"Hey, why are you still in your pajamas? were not't you going to take a shower? Your not packed either?" His voice trailed off and he looked around, the window first then the closet. I grimaced when he was not't looking at me.
"I got distracted," I looked around my room and saw Wuthering Heights on my dresser. "I needed to finish up the book, I couldn't put it down."
"Ah, Bella." He ruffled my hair; I saw his face light up.
"Heh, well I guess we should go see the campus." I smiled at him and he frowned.
"Bella, I can't believe your actually going."
"Hey, its college, of course I'm going." I spoke determinedly. I needed to go, first because I needed to get away from this house, and I wanted something to keep me busy. Even if it was a college in state, and not far away I still wanted to go.
I dressed in the bathroom quickly, and went back out, bounding down the steps. I tripped as always and Jacob caught me twirling me in the air, and then kissing my lips quickly.
"I'll miss this part so much." He smiled at me and I smiled back. I can love this boy I have to.
"I will too..." I whispered before I kissed him again. My eyes snapped open when I saw Edward at the top of the stairs, his face was so pained. It broke my heart, but he did that to me when he left, so he deserves…right?
Jacob followed my eyes, and saw Edward at the top of the steps. His body started to tremble, and he looked from Edward and me before running out the door.
Don't know if I like it or not. /
Please review.
3 Bri