Hello fellow Supernaturalers.Please be kind.This is my first serious(I hope it's serious) piece of writting.

I normaly write funny stuff(well what I think people will think is funny) anyway getting back on track.This story kinda starts out after All Hell Breaks Loose part 2.As i'm an England girl I

haven't seen Season 3.My 10 year old daughter has read all the spoilers on the website and I have decided to wait.So here's my version of Season 3.

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Fides mihi: chapter 1

(trust me : chapter 1)

11 and a half months ago

Dean opens tlooks back at Sam "Are you okay? You haven't said a word since we left the cemetry."he car door and

Sam gives a side glance at Dean then opens the passenger door and gets out.Slamming the door shut he walks into Bobby's house.

"I guess your still pissed then." Dean moves from the car and closes the door.He walks up to Bobby and Ellen who have just steeped out of the truck."You guy's okay?"

"Gotta say,bit of a shock seeing your daddy there kiddo." Bobby places his hand on Deans shoulder "How's Sam?"

"Good question.Pity I don't know the answer.Hasn't said a word." Dean attempts a smile at Ellen "Makes a change though.Normally can't shut he kid up."

Picking up a box from the back of the truck Ellen turns her head "Just give him time.We're all tired.Maybe after some sleep and food we'll all feel better."

"Yeah maybe." Dean takes the box from Ellen and walks to Bobby's house."Sam!" He places the box down on one of the kitchen chairs "Sam! We gotta put this stuff away.Are you gonna help or what?" Deans hands land on his hips.Giving his head a slight shake he moves into the hallway."Sammmy.Get your butt here and help." Muttering to himself "I should have bargained from a less grumpier Sam." Dean enters the main room.Each wall and corner are piled with books.From floor to ceiling.In the centre are two large sofa's and a dark wood coffee table,which also has a pile of books on it.On one of the sofa's is a pile of clothes,probley Bobby's washing.On the other is Sam laying on his side with his head at one end and his feet at the other.His eye's are shut.His breathing even.Dean leans agaisnt the door frame.Looking at Sam.His mind flicks back to after Sam was stabbed.Him lying there on that mattress,dead.Not breathing,heart beat gone.

"Dean?" Bobby breaks him from his thoughts.

"Sorry Bobby.Got distracted." Dean continues to look at Sam.

Bobby looks at Sam and then at Dean "How about a beer? Or something I could do with a whisky" Bobby pats Dean on the back and heads to the kitchen.

"Yeah sounds good." Dean follows the older hunter into the kitchen and accepts the glass of whiskey ."Glad it's over." Dean gulps he drink down in one and places the glass in front of Bobby.

Pouring Dean another drink Bobby meets him in the eye "He'll be fine you know.I'm still recovering from what has happened,he just needs a bit longer."

"I know." Dean takes a small sip of Whiskey "I just that,ugh,dammit.I just thought that after we killed the demon we would be celebrating like no bodies buisness.But all I feel like is shit."

"You should." Dean turns around and finds Sam standing in the doorway.

"Sammy please just..." Before Dean can finish Sam storms over to the table a grabs the Whiskey bottle.He raises the bottle to his mouth and takes a sip.Looking at Dean then Bobby,he raises the bottle in gesture then takes it with him when he leaves the kitchen.

Dean pushes his chair back and stands.Before his feet can move Bobby's hand is around his wrist."Leave him be for a while.He's had a lot to deal with."

Looking at the now empty doorway "I just need to...to.." He slumps back in the chair "I don't know what I need to do.I did the right thing.Why can't he see that?"

"I think there is to much stuff going on right now.I also think that everyone is tired.Ellen is already in bed.She's leaving early in the morning.I'll probably sleep for a week.So you and Sam can talk in the morning." Bobby puts the glasses in the sink.Turning round to face Dean he raises an eyebrow "What you waiting for.Get to bed."

Nodding to himself Dean leaves the kitchen and heads to their room.Stepping in the room he can tell that Sam has not been there.He crosses the room and sits on the edge of one of the beds.He kicks of his boots and lays down on his back."Sammy" Just above a whisper.It doesn't take long for him to fall asleep.

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Waking up and looking across to the other bed.Dean can easily see that Sam didn't make it to bed.Pulling his boots on he heads downstairs."Thought you were sleeping for a week?"

Bobby moves the paper from in front of his face and lays it on the table "Yeah I was,kinda got interrupted."

"Did Ellen sneak into your bed and.."

Bobby raises a hand and pulls a face that says 'yuck' "Don't even go there.It's far to early.Anyway it was Sam."

Dean looks around the kitchen and at the hallway behind him."Sam?" Receiving a nod he continues "Where is he anyway?Didn't come to bed.Guess he still pissed then?"

Looking straight at Dean Bobby leans down from his chair a picks up two empty whisky bottles and places them on the table infront of him."He's pissed alright,but not the angry kind."

"Sam drunk those?" Dean pointed at them.Getting a quick nod from Bobby he spoke again "Where is he?"

"Passed out on the sofa.After he woke me up looking for another bottle I made him sit there and then he passed out.Thought you said Sam was a two beer man."

Turning in the doorway Dean looks over his shoulder "When he isn't pissed he normally is." Dean steps into the main room and finds Sam laying on his stomach.His legs hanging over one of the sofas arms.His own arms hanging onto the floor.Dean stands infront of him.Reaching out to push the hair away from his brothers eye's "Sam!" He shakes his brothers arm gently.Getting no response he shakes a bit harder "SAM!".

Sams head moves just a tiny bit.Mumbles coming from his mouth.

Squating down infront of his baby brother Dean runs a hand through his own hair."Sleep it of Sammy." Dean rises and heads back to the kitchen.He makes himself a strong cup of coffee and walks past Bobby,giving him a weak smile."I'm gonna shower." He leaves and heads of for his shower.

He turns the water to how hot he likes it and steps nder the spray.The water runs over hhis body.His hands and forhead resting agaisnt the tiles.All thoughts of seeing his baby brother getting stabbed,carrying to the filthry mattress,the deal with the crossroad demons,finding Sam alive,the cemetry'pure Sammy'.Those eyes.Yellow evil eyes.Shouting from outside brings him out of his thoughts.Dean turns the water off and grabs a towel.He quickly dries and gets dressed.The shouting from downstairs getting louder,more heated.

"I said give me the keys" Sam makes a grab for the keys in Bobby's hands. on just sit down.You look like shit." Bobby pulls his arm back,stuffing the keys into his back pocket.

"Don't make me..." Sam stops when he sees Dean coming up behind Bobby.

"Sam?" Dean looks from Sam to Bobby and back again."What's going on?"

"He wants to go for a drive.I told him I didn't think it was a good idea." Bobby looks to Sam.

"If I want to go for I drive I can.So just give me the keys."

"Sam.Bobby's right.You've been drinking and..."

Sam takes a step forward,holds out his hand.Speaking through gritted teeth he looks at Bobby "You are not my Dad! My dad fucked off.Give me the fucking key!."

Jaw dropping,Dean steps infront of Bobby "Sam,that is way outta line and you know it.Bobby has..."

"What Dean?.Huh? What has Bobby done?" Shaking his hand out for the keys he raises his head "Cos I gotta tell,the only thing that's coming to my mind is that he is quite happy to lie along with you.So if you wanna beat that,let me know." Sam moves closer "Keys!"

Dean studies his brother for a second 'pure Sammy'.Shaking his head he looks over his shoulder at the older hunter. "Just give him the keys Bobby."

Bobbys face scrunches up then release it "What? Dean you can't be serious,look at him.He won't..." He didn't have time to finish.Dean was pulling the keys out from the old mans pocket.

"Here" Dean places the keys in his brothers hand."Drive safely."

Sam mumbles something as he walks past Dean."What?" Sam stops at his brothers question."What did you say?"

Not turning around,a low growl came from Sam "I said,What ya gonna sell if I don't?" Sam takes a deep breath and walks out of the house.

"Dean do you think that was a good idea?" Dean looked up at Bobby "He's in no right mind to drive."

"Let him figure that out for himself." He walks over to the window and pulls back the curtains.He watches Sam leaning agaisnt the car,palms lying flat on the roof.."He needs to understand." He looks back at the older man "I got a year left and the quicker he sorts his head out the better."

Bobby catches Deans eye "I think that's the problem." He raises his hand to stop Dean from speaking "I'm not taking sides.Just try and understand where he's at.You were there once but you had someone to help you after John." Lowering his hand Bobby leaves the room.

Dean looks out the window again.The car is still there.Sam is leaning back on the door.Arms hanging by his sides.Eyes red with tears.When Sam looks up he lets go of the curtain and sits in the armchair behind him."Dammit Sammy." He watches Sam through the gap in the curtains.

"Thought you could use this." Bobby stands in front of Dean,a glass of whiskey held out.

Dean takes the glass "Thanks." He takes a mouthfall.

"You boys need to talk.It's gonna end up killing you." Bobby sits next to Dean.

"I know.I know." Dean looks at his brother.

Sam's body slides down the car,hitting the ground with a thump.Sam pulls his knees up tight to his chest,places his head on his knees."Mom." Sam looks up to the cloudless sky "Mom.Help me.I need help.Please."He rubs away the tears on his face."Deans going to die and I don't know if I can stop it.Mom I need help,please.I need to know what to do.What do I do?Just tell me what to do." Using the cuff of his shirt he wipes his face.He looks around the junk yard."I need to know what to do."With one final glance at the sky,he pushes himself to his feet and starts to walk.

"Sammy?" Dean walks down the front steps."Where you going?"

Sam stops and turns to face his brother. "For a walk."

"I'll come with you and we can talk." Dean stops moving when Sam raises his hand.

"Please." Sam gives Dean a quick smile "I just need to be alone.I just need...I just.." A single tear falls "I won't be long.Just give me a bit of time.Okay."

Swollowing the lump in his throat Dean gives a quick nod."Bobby's cooking.Don't wanna miss that."

"Sounds great." Sam looks to behind Dean and then back to his brother "Dean?"

"Yeah Sammy" Dean looks at his brother.

"Um,I um,It's just that,I"

"I know.Me too."

"Dean.Your my big brother and I love you." Sam lets out a quick smile before turning around and walking away.

Dean whispers "I love you too Sammy."