It's past 4 and I have classes at 8... Oops.

This fic happens let's say, 10 years after Rukia was adopted in the Kuchiki clan...? Years before the SS arc anyway. I like to think that something happened in-between. : )

Rainy Nights

It's another one of those rainy nights, sad nights that leave her soul drenched in loneliness. Another one of those rainy nights when she wonders "what if?". What if she had said her mind and chosen not to become part of this etiquette carnival… What if she hadn't been a coward, if she had trusted the guts that made her cry that day when the only precious thing they had came to fall apart.

But she was, and now she wants to see him. She knows it's the only thing that can cure her pain, or at least, make her heart numb enough to ease it. She feels like making foolish attempts at catching scarlets skies that don't belong to her horizon anymore.

So she leaves the house; with the rain pour and Byakuya away at some important banquet, nobody notices her as she trails off whithout bothering to bring an umbrella. First, because it's swifter, and second… she doesn't really know why. She just feels like it. Maybe she wants to be punished. Maybe she wants to get sick to have some cold to hide her blues and heart sickness behind. Under the rain she walks anyway, trailing along the walls, following corridor after corridor. The Kuchiki household is quite far from the center Seireitei where the divisions' barracks are, and somehow she's glad for the long distance she has to walk. She thinks maybe it can bring her some sanity back, or at least make her sick enough to see a white light.

Meanwhile, for him it's another boring night. He puts things in order, memories and regret and bitterness all properly sealed away. Today again he made significant progress toward what he calls his life-long goal, and he's now master in the art of convincing himself that it's keeping him content. Satisfaction is quite a blurry concept… Or maybe it's him having had too strongly conflicting desires in the beginning. Anyway, he's comfortable in his loosely tied yukata, ready to go to sleep – or rather, ready to chase it – when there's someone knocking at the door.

Surprise. He lets the questioning aside, and welcomes his childhood friend turned inaccessible noble in at the brunette's expression. Something's obviously wrong with her, but no words come to him past the mild "Hi, Rukia... Are you ok?" In a polite way, she asks him if she can come in, and with equal ceremony, he lets her. God, did their relationship really get that bad? He would want to be left alone to grieve some more on the subject, but she really looks like she needs comfort, so he doesn't protest when she walks in his arms. For some time, he couldn't say how long, they stand motionless in the doorway. What is he supposed to do now? At some point, she realizes that she has to break the hug, and both don't really know what to say. Then good fortune brings him an idea.

"Hey, just go over there and take a sit. I'll go and make some tea…"

She nods, and proceeds to the little living room. While the water boils, each is left alone to think of what to say and do next.

Did their relationship really get that bad?

The water is hot, the cups are wiped and carefully placed on the tray. It reminds him of how people tend to assume he is the messy type, when it's pretty inexact. And even if he was, who could keep his bad habits under Kuchiki's command? Assumptions, expectations, limits. The Kuchiki name rings full of all those words, and the sad truth is, that's what her last name spells like now... maybe it was better when she didn't have any at all. As he sees her again, he realizes that she's still drenched and shivering slightly, probably cold to the bones. He leaves the tray on the little table and hurries to get her a towel.

When she just sits there with said towel in her hands, lost in her thoughts, he grabs it and proceeds to dry her himself. Spontaneous actions are what will take him to the death row someday, he thinks as he watches his large hands rubbing her head dry. Then comes the neck, and it feels just weird. She's like electrified, a shudder runs down her spine and shakes her lips, and it's with a weak, hesitant arm that she takes his wrist, a broken voice with which she stutters:

"Renji, I…"

She buries her head in his chest and grabs the hem of his yukata with her trembling little hands. She doesn't seem able to say anything more than "I…", and it's terribly confusing. He takes her face in his hands and stares a second into the wet blue filled with emotion almost too strong to be held in such a tiny body. He can't help kissing her like she belongs to him and he cares. When did the kiss end to give way to their first night of unrequited love ? Time ought to have frozen forever at that time...

But the following day, things are back the way they were again. Damn did that hurt, having tasted each other and knowing they'd better let go.

-

And now, after all those years, countless unexpected turns of events and other battles, they stare at each other as the sun prepares to rise once again. They know their thoughts are going to the same memories, and the things they're sharing right now are just like a miracle. This time again, her brother knows, but he doesn't try to interfere anymore. Not that they would obey like good little kids anyway. He knows the days of obedience before the order is even given are gone, the days when they thought there was something more to protect than those feelings, their treasure. And the truth is, the Head of the Kuchiki clan wouldn't want to interfere. They all grew up. Thank heaven, they all grew stronger and happier, all expect him though.

But that's another story.

Sorry, for the 1st time I went against the rules and dble-posted this chapter, because it perfectly suits both "Love with Her, Love with Him" and "Confessing to Rukia"... All my apologies.