The Lunacy of Rain

By darkmosmordreheart

Summary: A happy ending to my Rain series.

Warnings: Slash, sex, and language---the same three elements that make up most of my stories.

Disclaimer: The character: not mine. The naughty things the characters do: all mine.

Dedicated to L, sorry it took so long for me to write it for you, love. –DMH

*

The Letter

Harry,

I am in love with you. I know the words are exchanged between us upon each of our meetings, but I do not believe that you understand the extent of my love for you. I feel as if I've been waiting.

I'm waiting, though I know what I'm waiting for will never come.

We are still quite young, you see, so ending my wait should not be much of a hardship. I have the rest of my life to recollect myself. I feel so lost right now, but I'm sure that this feeling will cease eventually.

You need to understand one thing that I've failed to tell you over the years. I've been in love with you for longer than you've realized. I've loved you for the entirety of my lifetime. Like so many others, I was in love with your image, but only at first. You were my savior. You protected us all, protected my father and I was so in love with your pure power and strength; to be able to be so strong at such a young age. My age. I was in awe of you.

I must admit that I was slightly disappointed when I met you; what a small, strange little creature you were. Shy and ignorant of the world that adored you for protecting it all those years ago. And then you rejected me, so I waited.

You have no idea how much I wanted you. Every year, I watched you grow; taller, more handsome, braver, stronger, powerful. I watched you become so desirable. Your power called me to you, as it did many others. I watched you with your many admirers and I envied them for being so honest with you about their emotions. They wanted you, but I wanted you more. To be honest, I was scared of you. What a coward I was. You and my father, I feared the most. The two causes of why I strive for attention, honor, and praise. I wanted him, my father, to be proud and for you to want me. The more I watched you, the more I learned, and wanted, and loved.

I know that this may seem nothing more than a pathetic childhood crush. Believe me, it was, but it grew so much from that. I did fall in love with you, truly in love with you a full year before that fateful night we spent together in the rain at the end of our fifth year.

You were weeping over Cedric Diggory.

You were dirty and bloody and shaking from cold. You were so scared, so vulnerable; a sight that steered so far from my hero image of you. My childhood crush was completely extinguished for you in that moment. You looked so weak, so cowardly. I was shocked. You, who faced magic many of us hadn't. You, who defeated a basilisk. You, who faced a mass murderer. You were weak.

And in that moment, I had forgotten all you had done and all I wanted was to pull you into my arms and wipe the tears from your eyes. I wanted to comfort you. I wanted to protect you. I fell in love with you.

You don't love me, not the way I love you. I realize that this will never happen, now or ever. I love you, with everything I am capable of loving you with, but I'm finished waiting. I fell asleep in your arms last night and I woke up cold and alone with nothing but my tears to keep me company. I refuse to wake up to their companionship again. I am finished waiting.

I have to live now, so please, the next time it rains, do not come to me. Please stay away and allow me my life. I have spent more than enough time allowing yours, now it is time for mine.

-D

*

Ginny Potter shook her head at the mess that greeted her the moment she stepped through the front door. Toys and various articles of clothing were strewn across the floor along with muddy boots, wet slickers, and the occasional umbrella or two. She shook out her own umbrella and set it next to her dripping broom on the mat beside the door.

'How Harry can stand flying in the rain,' she thought as she slipped out of her slicker and boots, 'I'll never know.'

She hoisted her rather large bag back onto her shoulder and, with a wave of her wand, sent the toys and wet garments back to where they were meant to be. A smile spread across her face at the tell-tale crash! that told her exactly where her two boys were in the house. After climbing a flight of stairs and following the trail of broken action figures, she found the destructive duo in her bedroom petting Harry's snowy white owl, Callisto, in the midst of her fallen cage.

She smiled at the adorable sight a moment before planting a stern expression on her face. She lifted her wand and righted the fallen cage, gaining the immediate attention of the pair.

"Hi Mummy!" they both responded automatically at the sight of her, but only her four years old jumped up to greet her while James, her eldest opted to stay with the owl. She melted at the sight of her little one's slightly toothless grin and lifted little Albus into her arms. "Now what have you boys been up to all day that had your toys thrown all over the house?"

"We were playing war, Mummy," James explained. "There were many causalities on both sides."

"Obviously, but that sounds extremely noisy. I know Grandma wouldn't like that," Ginny mused as her son tangled his hand into her long auburn hair. "Where is Grandma?"

"Daddy came home, so she left," the little war hero replied, smiling as Callisto leaned into his strokes.

"Daddy's home?" she exclaimed, automatically looking towards the window. She knew that he was usually home this time of day, but it was still raining extremely hard. "How long has he been home?"

"He came home for lunch and was going to leave, but then this giant black owl came and gave him a letter, so he stayed home," James told her.

"The owl was this big!" Albus announced excitedly in her arms, holding his own little arms out as wide as he could. She smiled and kissed the tip of his nose before setting him gently back down on the floor.

"Where is Lily?" They reported that Grandma Molly had put the two year old down for a nap after claiming their war uncivilized and barbaric and saying that she wanted the baby to have no part in it. "Where is Daddy?"

"In his office," they said together.

She left the pair, confident that Callisto could hold her own against the two and made her way down the stairs and to her husband's office, a small room just off the kitchen. The door was opened so she stood in the doorway and peeked in on him silently.

What a beautiful man she had married.

He sat on the floor, leaning back against a small sofa facing a large bay-window. His broad shoulders were hunched over what appeared to be a large box of letters that sat between each of his bent knees. His dark hair, just long enough to fall into his eyes, or rather, his glasses, glistened in the low light. From what she could see of his face, his expression was tight, his full lips drawn into a thin line, his brow furrowed in thought. Actually, the entirety of his body long, lithe body was filled with tension and it all seemed to stem from the lily-white piece of parchment he held in his slightly trembling hands.

"Harry?"

She noted that his instinctual reaction to her voice was to drop the letter in the box before he looked at her. He ran a shaky hand through his spiky jet-black locks and smiled at her, barely halfheartedly. "Hello, luv."

"Hello, Harry," she replied, stepping into the room and sitting behind him on the comfy old red sofa. He responded by closing the box between his legs and taking out his wand to levitate it to a large trunk that automatically locked itself. "Is something wrong?"

"Of course not, just doing a bit of work," he told her, lifting himself from the floor and adjusting his glasses so that she couldn't get a good look at his eyes. He looked round the room awkwardly for a moment before deciding to rummage through the mess on his desk. She rose from the couch and moved behind him.

"Are you alright?" When he didn't respond, she grabbed onto his shoulders to spin him around to face her. He was trembling all over and he actually flinched when she reached up to remove his glasses. Her actions revealed dull green eyes that appeared red, irritated, and puffy. "Harry?"

"I'm alright," he told her, carefully avoiding her gaze. "I'm just a bit tired, is all."

She frowned, but nodded and ran a gentle hand down his cheek. "Perhaps you should get some rest."

He nodded and moved as if to leave the room, but she stopped him with a gentle kiss that took him three heartbeats to respond to. Then, he gave her another halfhearted grin and left.

*

I have to live now . . .

A storm rattled every window in the large, Godric's Hollow home. The wind whistled menacingly, thunder echoed, lightning flashed, but the storm was nothing compared to the turmoil in Harry Potter's heart.

He tossed and turned, his sweat-dampened body tangling in the thin sheets. His heartbeat was erratic as if he was running a marathon and not trying to rest. His tears left his cheeks as wet as the raindrops falling from the sky outside. His body tense, he sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, placing his head in his hands.

"Harry?" He looked over his shoulder slowly and squinted his eyes to see his wife through the tears and lack of glasses. She rose up to her knees and crawled to the center of the bed. "Are you alright?"

He merely nodded at the familiar question and turned his wet face away, towards the window. Her eyes burned with unshed tears as she crawled closer to Harry and she reached out to place a hand on each of his hunched shoulders.

He flinched.

She ignored the reaction and pulled herself closer to nuzzle his neck. "Oh, Harry."

Neither of the pair knew how long they stayed like this, but, gradually, Harry relaxed in her arms. She tightened said arms to ease his violent trembles.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," he lied.

She pressed a kiss to his shoulder and murmured against his sweaty skin, "Is it over? Did you end it?"

He was quiet for a moment; a long moment. Just as she came to the conclusion that he was going to ignore her question, as he had many others before, he took a deep breath and sighed, "It's over, Ginny."

Relief poured through her, lifted her, warmed her. She tightened her embrace briefly and kissed his cheek. "I'm glad."

For a moment he tensed, then turned to her, meeting her light brown gaze with his green one. "I love you, Ginny."

"I love you, too, Harry," she replied automatically, pushing her lips to his. When she pulled away, a single tear slid down his cheek, only to be wiped away by her quick hand.

He pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes to her imploring gaze. "Can I … May I make love to you?"

In the next moment, thunder roared and lightning illuminated the room. She ignored the storm, as she ignored many a storm, and moved closer to her husband. "Will you be making love to me?"

He was silent for three seconds. "Yes."

She slid her arms around his neck, covered his mouth with her own, and, as they fell back onto the soft covers, she opted to forget the fact that he was not the one to end it.

*

Author's Note: I hope no one is reading this like WHAT?! I'm trying to write this so that new readers don't have to read the other three stories to get this, but you know what, I don't care. GO READ THE OTHER THREE STORIES!!! And don't worry people, this will get better. Remember that saying, things have to get worse before they can get better or whatever, it's like that, so just keep repeating that phrase in the next few chapters when I make you cry. Did anybody miss me? LOL! -DMH