Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, but I do own Child of Light and I hope that it gets published.
Beth: I'm sure the Spaghedeity will grant you wish.
Me: Now's not the time Beth.
You Have Got to be Kidding Me!
By Emma Iveli
Chapter 1: A Pastafarian Fan girl in One Piece
Beth Lily got woke in her usual way, destroyed her alarm clock with a hammer, got a new one from her secret alarm clock closet, got dressed in a t-shirt with "Marshmallows are Evil" on it bushed her recently dyed ocean blue hair and headed out, out of the house.
"Beth don't you want breakfast." Said her mother, Heather.
Beth looked at the table, "I'm serous about this… but not until you get a new table…" said Beth.
"But why… we only had…" said Heather.
Beth stopped her mother from saying what she was about to say by yelling "Don't say what you're about to say… please…" she said, "Think happy thoughts… think happy thoughts. Francisco stop acting like a baby all the time, Bitchy MacPepsquad failing into a vat of sludge, One Piece beating Naruto in America in everyway…" she said rubbing her head.
She grabbed a muffin and left the house, "Be safe with your training!" yelled Heather.
Beth wasn't a normal girl… there's a pretty big list too:
First off she was freaking insane, really… she was… hyperactive, crazy, insane are all good words to describe her, she punches the faces of boys over the age of 10 when they cry (her kid brother included).
While it could be seen as an extension of being crazy, this tens to be lumped as a separate thing… she's a member of the crunch of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It's a parody religion but she treats it as real, due to her religious belief she's a pirate fan girl… if it portrays a good pirate like One Piece or Pirates of the Caribbean then she's a fan. By the way, if you get board, it's a good thing to look up on Wikipedia.
Third and final is a very recent reason, she's the Guardian of Wind to the Child of Light. Long story short, one of her best friends Kari Williams recently found that her birth mother (she knew her mother wasn't her real mother and was adopted) was Light, the living embodiment of goodness in the universe. Kari had to fight the Avatar of Darkness named Damien in a battle of good VS evil, however Kari has 4 Guardians by her side, however they had only found two of them Beth who has power over wind and Larry Roberts a who used to be the most popular guy in school, but left the popular crowd for many reasons and started hanging out with Beth's group of friends, he was the Guardian of Fire. They had nowhere or who the other two were and right now one of their main goals was to find them.
It should be pointed out that all three of their families knew (Beth was the only one with the nuclear family out the three, Kari with her adoptive mother and Larry's mom died a long time ago).
Well that's how she is… she was going to their training ground (a vacant lot own by Larry's father), she met up with Kari and Larry there.
"So… what are we going to do today?" Asked Beth.
"I'm going to send one of your Guardians into another dimension send my little pets after them…" said a voice.
They turned around and saw Damien leaning against a fence.
"Damien!" growled Kari.
"Why?" asked Beth.
Damien shrugged, "I have no idea… I'm bored I guess…" he said with a shrug, "Now who to choose."
He began to choose by doing eeny meeny miny moe. And it randomly chose Beth.
"See you later Wind Guardian!" said Damien.
He sent a strange black beam at Beth… there was a bright flash of light and Beth was gone.
"What did you to her?" asked Kari.
"I sent her to another dimension…" said Damien, "It's a good thing I sent her… otherwise she would have beaten me up with I sent Lawrence over there."
"Bring her back right now!" yelled Larry.
"Sorry… but I have to study where she is and sent my little pets." Said Damien.
Both of them gritted their teeth in anger as he disappeared.
"I hope Beth is alright." Said Kari she then realized what she said, "Never mind… I just whoever she finds and befriends keep their sanity…"
Larry nodded in agreement, sure she was their friend… but Beth can annoy someone very easily and most of the time she does it on purpose.
Meanwhile in another world, the World of One Piece, it was a beautiful day on the Thousand Sun… the sun was shining, the sea gulls were cawing and Luffy was just kicked out of the kitchen for trying to break the lock at…
"But why Sanji?" asked Luffy.
"Because I can't have you eating all of the food!" yelled Sanji.
That's when there was a bright light that filled the sky… when the light clear they heard a big splash.
"What was that?" asked Nami who was sunbathing nearby.
Luffy ran towards the edge where the came from.
"There's a girl in the water!" he yelled.
Sanji ran towards Luffy and saw a certain blue haired girl lying face down in the water. He dove in after her.
"Hey we need some help!" yelled Luffy.
Zoro got the rope ladder while the others waited. Sanji pulled up the unconscious girl Chopper began to examine her. It seemed that her hair was died and she wore a t-shirt that said "Marshmallows are Evil" If you haven't realized is that the girl is Beth…
"So she al right?" asked Luffy.
"She'll need some rest but it looks like she'll be fine." Said Chopper.
Chopper took her to sick bay, and began to observe her… fortunately after 20 minutes Beth began to stir, she woke and muttered.
"I'm going to kill that asswipe!"
Well it was more of a yell but same difference.
Chopper jumped at the yell and began to hide. Beth blinked.
"No way…" she whispered.
She began to think, "Okay, it seems I'm in the One Piece world… and by the looks of it the Thousand Sunny… it's like on those really bad fanfics… okay, I think I shouldn't tell them that in my world… maybe I should try to get myself thrown off the ship just incase I get tempted to tell them the truth about them… well either way they'd probably throw me off even if I didn't' try… unless I of course show my stuff… I'll just see what happens and see if I stay or not… then again it would be really cool to hang with them… time to use your best acting" she thought.
"Are you okay?" asked Chopper.
"What are you? Asked Beth.
She walked over to him and began to poke him.
"What you doing?" asked Chopper.
She ignored him and continued poking after a few minutes Chopper finally yelled out "Stop poking me!"
In the dinning room the crew was waiting for any word of the girl…
"I'll see what's going on…" said Luffy.
Luffy went in and saw Beth poking Chopper.
"Oh sorry!" said Beth, "I just poking your Jackalope." Said Beth.
"What?" asked Luffy.
"I always thought they didn't exist especially since Wikipedia said so, then again Wikipedia has been wrong before… so many time before..." Said Beth.
Luffy just stared at the girl blinking.
"Sorry I'm Beth… what's your name?" asked Beth.
"I'm Monkey D. Luffy… what happened? Why did you land in water?" asked Luffy.
"Well I come from a Magical Land called Earth! This asshole named Damien sent me here out of boredom! Now I'm stuck here until I can figure out a way home." Said Beth, "Nice…" she thought.
"Really?" asked Luffy "You have to join my crew!"
"What sort of crew?" asked Beth raising an eyebrow.
"A Pirate crew!" said Luffy.
"I don't believe you!" said Beth crossing her arms across her chest.
"I'll show you!" said Luffy pulling the girl away.
"Luffy what are you doing! She needs rest!" said Chopper.
Luffy took to the deck where she saw that she was on a ship and the pirate flag (which she already knew of course).
"You really are pirates…" said Beth with her voice shaking.
That's when the other members of the crew showed up.
"Luffy!" yelled Nami, "Did you really have to do that! Look at her! She looks scared out of her mind!"
Beth began to cry, she turned around and screamed "I'm so sorry!" then began to bow before them. "I'm very sorry, I didn't believe you were pirates I would give you food or money as offerings but I don't think have some on me!"
She got some gum from her pocket, "Though if you want I have Juicy Fruit…"
There was a silence as the Straw Hats stared at her… the silence was defining until Zoro was the first to say something, "Okay… what are you talking about?"
"Well you see I'm a Pastafarian… we believe that the universe was created by the Flying Monster while drunk… the first Pastafarians were pirates and are absolute divine beings. In my world pirates ate just about extinct and it's causing great hardships for my planet… for with out pirates has caused an event called global warming to happen to my planet." Said Beth.
Chopper stared at her…
"Can you with me for a few minutes?" asked Chopper.
About 5 minutes later the once again left the sick bay.
"Well it appears she don't have a head injury." Said Chopper.
"A lot of people think that about me when they first meet me." Said Beth.
"Gee… I wonder why…" said Nami sarcastically.
"Hey!" yelled Luffy jumping in front Beth, "Do you hw to sing or play an instrument."
"Well I do know of a song…" said Beth.
"Really!" said Luffy, "Can you sing it now…"
"Sure…" said Beth with a sweat drop, "Well I'm guessing that this take place in a variation that Thriller Bark hasn't happened yet… when is that arc going to end? Really?" she thought.
Luffy, Usopp and Sanji decided give a listen to her signing, while the others tired to ignore the strange girl that fell from the sky.
A good thing was that her singing was beautiful… the down side was her song "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and goes a little something like this: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and goes a little something like this:" she sang.
As she sang Usopp realized something, "She's reporting the song over and very again…" said
20 minutes later she still sang the same song… Usopp stopped listening after 5 minutes, Sanji after about 15… it was beginning to try Luffy's patience as well… Nami who was barley listening finally snapped.
"Will you stop signing! Already!" she yelled.
"Why? Is getting on your nerves?" asked Beth innocently.
"We need a crew meeting! Right now!" yelled Nami then pointed to Beth, "And not you!"
Everyone hurried into the dinning room.
"I guess my plan worked after all… it's best I'm not here…" she thought.
"I think when we get to the next island with a town we should leave her there." Said Nami.
"But she says she's not from this world!" said Luffy, "We can leave her!"
"But she's insane… who knows where she's really from." Said Zoro who was clearly annoyed by the girl.
"But she could be telling the truth." Said Robin.
"She could be a spy for all we know!" said Usopp.
"I don't know…" said Sanji, mostly because robin was taking Beth's side.
"We should a vote!" said Luffy.
"Fine with me!" said Nami, "All against keeping her on the ship."
Zoro, Nami, Usopp ad Chopper raised their hands.
"All for?" asked Luffy.
Luffy, Sanji, Robin and Franky all raised their hands.
"Really Franky?" asked Usopp surprised.
"I find her signing Super!" said Franky, "But her song choice."
"I'm sure she had different song." Said Sanji thinking about Beth's beautiful singing voice.
"Perhaps we should have compromise." Said Robin.
"I guess se can behave herself just enough…" said Nami.
"That's fine with me!" said Luffy happily.
The crew went to talk to Beth who humming Kokoro no Chizu while looking at her necklace.
"You can stay with us." Said Luffy.
"That's great!" said Beth.
"But you have to behave…" said Nami.
"Define "behave"… wait before you do… there's another pirate ship nearby and they're about the board us!" said Beth pointing the pirate ship that had gone unnoticed until she pointed it out.
"Why didn't you tell us before!" yelled Zoro.
Beth shrugged and hummed "I don't know."
Indeed Beth certainly has a way with first impressions… especially she was trying to get herself thrown off the ship… but who know what she was really planning…
Next Time: The Straw Hats fights some pirates, unfortunately a rather large member has his eyes Beth. Meanwhile Damien brings his plans closer! What will happen? Find out next time!