Disclaimer: Naruto is all Kishimoto's.
A/N: Updating took so long because I suck! Thank you. ::bows::
Warning: Boy loving, though, not all hot and detailed. Clumsy storytelling with mistakes in it, we think. Oh, and if you're sensitive about things having to do with religion, then you should probably stop reading this.
About: Sasuke's corpse thing, you were very concerned about it. Just so you know, I didn't think that fully through. I was picturing it as an Ötzi like... thing. Except maybe more bony. But that isn't really relevant! (Or it is, but I choose to ignore it.)
And Naruto and the other gods are like Greek gods. You know, all human like with faults and such but still gods.
'We are not amused,' was the attitude Sasuke stomped inside the cave with, surprising the two gods occupying it. Or rather, just one of them, since the redhead seemed to lack any reaction altogether. Naruto looked at him rather guiltily, slowly trying to hide the hen's egg he had been about to put into the campfire.
Sasuke had to bite his comment on the egg back, wondering what part of 'stop the idiocy' the blond had not understood. He shook his head. Never mind the eggs!
The reason he had climbed back here was to own some god ass, and not in a sexual way, mind you. To put it nicely, Sasuke was pissed off. Beyond furious. Because denial had won and he would blame the so called god for pulling the most sick and disgusting prank he had ever heard of.
Surely, they had just made a fake corpse to freak Sasuke out and got some serious kicks out of it. That must be the case. In what Sasuke would not just simply ignore and forget about, but climb up the mountain again to show those bums just how much their little practical joke was truly appreciated.
"You-!"
His voice was low and pleasantly dangerous, Sasuke noted. The furious look he was giving the blond god (pointedly ignoring the redhead) made Naruto sit on his legs, spine straight in a disciplined stage without even noticing it.
"Hi! I, um, didn't expect you to come back..."
"You expected me to just laugh and walk past that little joke of a skeleton you put on the mountain to freak me out!?"
Naruto frowned, this believer was so feisty.
"It was no joke. You died, I told you that."
"I'm alive, moron."
Sasuke slapped his hand to his chest as to prove a point. As far as Sasuke knew, being dead yet alive equalled that you were a ghost of some sort. Ghosts were transparent as far as he knew, and he sure as hell wasn't. Sasuke was alive and breathing!
"Yes, you are."
And this confused Sasuke even more, because this Naruto had just told him that he's alive right after he had stated that he had died. Sanity, it seemed, had never even stepped inside that cave.
"So that corpse couldn't possibly be me!"
"Yes, it is."
"That means I died."
"You did."
"Yet I live?"
"That's right."
The god was speaking as if everything was so obvious. That Sasuke should understand how he had died yet he was alive. He could feel the headache coming that he usually got when having to deal with idiots.
He closed his eyes and pressed two fingers on the brink of his nose, trying to remember how to speak 'idiot', a skill he had learned while having to deal with some his brother's friends.
"Fucking moron."
No, wait. Wrong answer. That just led into pointless arguments or encouraged them to commit more idiocy.
"I'll kindly give you ten seconds to explain what the hell happened to me. I don't want any bullshit. If I'm satisfied enough, maybe I won't hurt you too much."
Naruto gave a laugh.
"You can't hurt me! I'm a god for Pete's sake."
But the laugh died off as soon as Sasuke's eyes narrowed even more and he started to count downwards from ten.
It was Gaara's melodic voice that answered his question though.
"A parasite."
Sasuke gave the redhead a wary look, not sure at all what that had meant but not brave enough to question the god. Naruto just wrinkled his nose.
"Don't say that, Gaara."
The next moments were spend in silence, as Naruto kept on frowning in disapproval and Gaara had a look on that clearly said something along the lines 'but it's the truth.'
"Excuse me, the explanation, please?"
Naruto snapped out of their staring contest and paid his attention to Sasuke again.
"You became a legend."
Sasuke blinked.
"A what now?"
The blond god ran a hand through his hair, letting out a long sigh. It wasn't like he disliked explaining, but he'd rather do other things right now. He glanced longingly at the egg he had been about to put into the fire, but a demanding cough from his non-believer made him focus at the problem at hand.
"You know what a legend is, don't you? Kind of like us gods, except less powerful because you used to be human."
Sasuke's eye twitched in irritation.
"Legends are tales about people who did great things, told throughout generations. So yes, I do know what a legend is but that doesn't explain my current...condition."
"Of course it does! You did something great and brave and now your name lives even though you died. And they say that legends live forever, lucky you."
He could feel a tingle of excitement. Forever, eh? Bet you that Itachi could never pull that off.
"Wait, wait. I understand my name living forever but what about my body?"
He received an unnecessarily loud yawn, as Naruto stretched his muscles, implying boredom. Gaara eyed the blond before sparing a small glance towards the dark-haired sacrifice.
"A parasite."
That got Naruto's negative interest back. Gaara sure knew how to deal with short attention spans, it seemed.
"We're not parasites, Gaara! More like, uh, we just leech our existence out of human beliefs. See, people down at your village believed into a god living on this mountain so strongly that a being was able to materialize out of those thoughts. And thus, Naruto the Trickster God was born!"
The blond high-fifed with himself by clasping his hands together above his head, grinning like mad.
"So that's how gods are born? And here I thought that you created us humans."
Naruto laughed, his eyes watering. Gaara just made a small 'hm' noise, but Sasuke wasn't ready to bet whether it was a sound of amusement or annoyance towards Naruto's loudness.
"There's always a human first. Honestly, you come up with the weirdest things when you lack explanations. Have you ever heard of Jashin? I mean, geez, and here I thought Gaara's believers were masochists."
Sasuke cocked a brow. No, he had never heard of this Jashin, but then again, he had never been invited to a gods counselling or wherever these guys met each other.
"So I rematerialized in this world because my name lives on. That... doesn't sound so bad."
It sounded fucking good to be more precise. The village had done one good thing for him, and that was making him immortal. In your face, Konoha!
"This new body does live forever, right? It won't grow old and weak, will it?"
Naruto waved a dismissing hand.
"Nah, you died young and beautiful and you will stay that way too. Though, your existence is still a bit wavering."
"Incomplete."
They were both staring at him, calculating. Naruto's stare he could handle, but Gaara's was too much. His defence mechanism was to get irritated.
"What?"
"Just saying, maybe you didn't complete what you came here to do? Your own mind is in conflict with what people think you have done to deserve being a legend. So, what exactly did you come here for in the first place?"
He frowned, looking from the blond to the sacrificial items he had been given before his trip. Originally he had come here to die, there was a check there.
"A sacrifice."
"Yeah, I know... wait, you mean he was the sacrifice?"
Also, the items to kill himself with were taken as a sacrifice by Naruto, so that should only be an added bonus on his list.
"Jiraiya."
"Yeah, Jiraiya sure likes his women, but this guy's not a girl, is he now."
"Orochimaru."
"I heard he likes little boys but I really don't want to know what he does with them."
Sasuke's eyes widened. It couldn't be, no! He was sent as a virgin sacrifice. Which made him ponder just what kind of raunchy legends the villagers had decided to write and tell about him. Covering his face with his hands, he tried to shake off the disturbing mental images. No, no, no. Absolutely not!
"Did you figure it out?"
Sasuke lifted his face from his hands, finding the two meters between him and the god more than he felt comfortable with. He turned to look away, face red. He came to sacrifice his life, not his virginity! That damn village was getting the last laugh after all with their damned homo erotica.
He cursed. He cursed loudly and said words that made even Gaara show some emotion that he labelled between surprise and approval.
"I, uh, suppose that you figured something out?"
The blond laughed nervously and took several steps backwards, away from that feisty believer.
"It's obvious that you're not happy about it but I think it needs to be done. Otherwise, if the people who think of you as a legend might come to think of you as some loser who just went there and came back again without actually doing anything."
Sasuke stopped cursing the village for a moment. Wait, wait, wait. This was about becoming, or rather, already being, immortal. Surely virginity would be a very low price to pay for it. He nodded to himself.
"By the way, Gaara. I really think your believers must masochists for worshipping a god who hasn't even been there for five generations now."
Gaara stayed passive for a moment, taking his time to progress what Naruto had just said. He then began to stand up in an extremely lazy pace and began to travel towards the cave's exit.
Naruto turned to look at his other guest.
"Hey, you never told me your name."
Sasuke looked thoughtful still. He was going to lose his virginity at some point anyway. Maybe not to a man, but still. Hell, this must've been a bargain, to have one up on Itachi. He turned to look at Naruto with an evil glint in his eye.
"I'm Uchiha Sasuke, Itachi's little brother."
Naruto smiled in delight.
"You don't say!"
He nodded and walked over to the messy pile of clothes and blankets he suspected the god viewed as a bed and sat down, smirking at the god.
"So, I have to finish what I came to do in order to stabilise my existence?"
The blond nodded in affirmative.
"That's right."
"I need your cooperation for it though."
"I have time."
"Excellent. I need you to take my virginity."
It was a humiliating matter to Sasuke, but he managed to say it confidently, showing no signs of embarrassment. Naruto looked confused though, making Sasuke to grit his teeth. It figures that he'd have to explain things further, it was an idiot he was talking to, after all.
"Dobe… Let's have sex."
Simple enough, it seemed even Naruto could understand that. His eyes widened and cheeks flushed, Sasuke found it kind of adorable.
Naruto really was an ideal sex partner, at least visibly, the Uchiha thought as he kept on scanning the sight of a disturbed god in front of him. Sasuke licked his lips. But Naruto wasn't the real 'God of Sex', it kind of made him wonder just what kind of treat that would be.
"What? No!"
The boy had enough wit to quickly cover his crotch with his hands and try to back away. It was a fatal mistake to underestimate Sasuke though; his own escaping attempts had been stopped so many times he had got a hang of their techniques. Naruto wouldn't be going anywhere until Sasuke got what he wanted.
Quickly, he stood up and walked over to the blond whose back collided with a nearby wall from all the backing away without watching just where he was going. Placing both hands on either side of the god, Sasuke pinned him against the wall and breathed into his ear.
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want to!"
The god was squirming and whining like a little girl, it amused Sasuke greatly. Oh, it felt good to be in control.
"It just occurred to me, dear god, just how did I die?"
Naruto took the time to look puzzled despite the uncomfortable position his guest kept him in.
"How should I know? I found you dead."
"But I just fainted and heard a voice before doing so."
It had bothered him, but the way things were going, he thought that this might end up being great extortion material if Naruto was at all at fault. Turn every single little inconvenient detail against a person, a lesson learned in life, thanks to Itachi.
"Fainted? But your eyes were closed and you didn't move. It was obvious that you had died so I took the little soul you had remaining in you and brought it in here in case you were declared as some legendary mountain climber and would appreciate to wake up in a more appropriate environment."
Sasuke didn't know anything about souls or creation of a legend, but he did somehow get that Naruto had possibly mistaken him as a dead person and killed him by accident. Ripping a soul out of a body? Wouldn't the fact that there still was a soul in his body be proof that he had been alive?
"Oh yeah! I suppose you're right."
Naruto laughed not-at-all nervously as he rubbed his neck sheepishly.
"My bad."
"Indeed. So, since it was you who killed me, see it as your responsibility to stabilise my immortality!"
"Whaaat!? No- Sasuke- hands off my pants!"
Yes, Sasuke wasn't one to stall, but went straight to business. Sex required being naked, so off with the pants, that's what he thought. Naruto highly disagreed though.
There was a lot of struggling and cursing. At some point, it occurred to Sasuke that he might come to look like a rapist if this went on, but he didn't really care. In the end, Naruto managed to push him off to the bed and back away, clutching his clothes, breathing hard from the battle.
"What the hell? You can't treat me like this! I'm your god, I demand some respect!"
Sasuke was out of breath as well, sitting on the bed, glaring at Naruto with all his power. Taking more calming breaths, he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. Just like Tobi taught him… open your eyes a bit wider than usual, make them water a bit for an added effect.
"I'm sorry, it's just… this is important to me, Naruto."
Make sure your eyebrows quiver a bit to make an impression of pathetic desperation.
"But I understand if you won't see through something because of your cowardice. Even if it's something you yourself started."
After the soul tearing gaze, turn your eyes away from the target to the floor to increase the feeling of quilt/sympathy you were aiming for.
"I just… can't do this on my own."
Finish them off with a brutal, long disappointed sigh.
"…Sasuke…"
Slowly, he dared to take a peek at the god. Had it worked? Was getting downright pathetic worth it? Naruto didn't look like it had worked though. In fact, instead of a look of sympathy, he was actually glaring, arms crossed in front of his chest.
"Drop the act. Honestly, you must be the most unsympathetic person out there."
Sasuke just shrugged, it had been worth a try. At least it had made Naruto walk towards him for reasons unknown.
"But how dare you accuse me of being a coward and not finishing what I started!?"
Naruto received a bored look and that damn raised eyebrow.
"Because that's what you did."
"Well, I will finish what I started!"
With a huff, the boy dropped to sit beside him on the bed-like thing, looking determined. The look faded away when awkward silence decided to pay them a visit.
"Well?"
"Aren't you going to do something?"
"Like what?"
"How should I know?"
"You should know."
"I'm the legendary virgin."
"It's not like I've done this before either!"
Running his hand through his hair, Naruto sighed in frustration. Sasuke had been so keen on raping him earlier and now he was just sitting there, looking as embarrassed as Naruto felt. Deciding that someone had to start this, the god slowly shifted closer to the boy on his bed, brining their faces merely inches apart.
Sasuke turned to look at him, not encouraging him to continue whatever he was doing by leaning forward but not discouraging either by jumping back.
Shrugging, Naruto just leaned forward to press their lips together. Sasuke didn't move, he didn't even blink as the god massaged his lips against his, trying to get some kind of a response. Naruto pulled back, his expression as dull as the other's.
"Some participation from your side would be appreciated."
"…"
"No?"
"…"
"Well, let's at least get naked if nothing else."
The blond progressed to get rid of his own plain shirt, slipping it over his head, unknowingly giving a very pleasant view of his flexed abs to Sasuke who couldn't tear his eyes away.
"Well?"
The whole situation was just downright awkward and embarrassing, for the both of them. Sasuke didn't deal well with these kinds of situations, not at all. He preferred to become extremely bastard-like or just run away but now neither seemed to be an option. How the hell was he supposed to act?
Naruto had already reached his pants, ready to pull them down. Quickly turning to look away, he decided to play along and started to remove his own ceremonial kimono, cheeks flushed.
All garment gone, they now sat in the same position, stark naked, neither of them doing anything. Naruto's embarrassment was starting to turn into irritation though, and soon enough, he snapped and decided to just do things his own way by bouncing on the boy in front of him, trapping Sasuke underneath him.
Rather than the much sought after lust and arousal, it was just competition that filled them, that leading into wrestling, ragged breathing and rough touches. Even though he kept on cursing and struggling back, Sasuke had to admit it was less awkward this way. By the time Naruto finally just pushed himself flushed against the Uchiha, they were already used to the other, having touched here and there, even if it wasn't with the intention to pleasure the other.
But through trial and tribulation, they finally managed to have sex. Demonstrated by these outtakes of their activity:
--
"Thathurts!"
"Uh, sorry, want me to pull away?"
"Yeah, try something smaller first."
"Like what?"
"I dunno, use your fingers or something."
--
"You know, Sasuke. Technically you're not a virgin anymore…"
"Just. Keep. Moving. You. Idiot!"
--
"I-it's not moving right."
"Maybe we're supposed to, ah, use lubricant."
"Gnh, how'd you figure?"
"I-it has become a popular sacrifice among the villagers."
--
Some incoherent moaning.
--
They were both lying down, staring at each other in a daze. It had been so extremely clumsy but still left a feeling of satisfaction that made up for all the embarrassment. To Sasuke, Naruto looked so perfectly amazing right now, ruffled up, staring at him in a dream like stage.
It made his heart flutter and cheeks grow hot. Of course he would end up feeling like this. Something like this would always feel special.
He raised him hand to touch the boy again, fingers trailing the marked cheeks. Naruto closed his eyes, leaning into the touch. His dark eyes trailed to stare at the still swollen lips of the god, but when he leaned forward to taste them once more, Naruto opened his mouth to speak unpleasant words.
"I think you should leave."
His fingers stopped trailing the soft skin of Naruto's cheek, eyes turning from being completely smitten to sharp and wary, the ugly feeling of being betrayed slowly filling him.
"I can't have you being different from all the other villagers. If I start picking out favourites, I fail as a god."
Sasuke didn't say anything, just withdrew his hand, sat up and started to put his clothes back on. Naruto watched him walk away with regretful eyes.
To Be Continued...
In which NoNo sucks at explaining. But there will be more explaining in the next chapter, I swear! It'll all make sense, at some point, maybe.
Ah, I forgot to mention how long Sasuke had been dead out there. Maybe it'll pop up later but I might as well mention it so you'll sleep your night better. The answer is... Two Generations::cheers::
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