"It's funny, but even though I'm only eight years old, I've met a lot of strange people" Arthur said "like when Charlie Brown and his friends came to visit. His dog Snoopy acted just like a regular person, it was surreal. And when the Simpsons came to town, well, do I really have to say anything? Not only did they not look like anyone I've ever met, but their habits were strange as well."

"Of course, strange isn't a bad thing. Look at Buster, he believes in aliens and all sorts of stuff, yet he's still my best friend. Or take Sue Ellen. When her family first moved here, we all thought she was weird. But now, everybody likes her."

"So as you can see, with all that, you'd think I wouldn't be surprised by anything weird" he continued "but last week, I met maybe the strangest group of people yet."

Suddenly, Kramer opened the door to his room. "Hurry up Arthur, we have to meet at Frank's house for Festivus" he said.

"See what I mean?" Arthur asked, as he faced the readers.

-----

In a comedy club, Jerry Seinfeld was doing his act.

"Have you ever seen these kid's shows they have nowadays?" he asked "the hosts seem to act like kids are complete morons or something. They're always 'what color is this?' and then they pause, like they expect the kid to think it over. Meanwhile the kid watching this show is probably like 'okay it's blue, can we move on please? How about teaching me something I can actually use, like long division?'"

"My favorite one is this Dora the Explorer, with the little Spanish girl and the monkey. Forget Spanish, what that show really teaches you is that you can walk around in the woods unsupervised and not be attacked by wild animals. Yeah that would happen in real life. Just once I'd like to see a leopard or something attack her, now that would be a fun show. 'Can you say puncture wound?'"

-----

In his apartment in New York, Jerry was packing his bags when there was a buzz on the intercom.

"Who is it?"

"George"

"Come on up" Jerry said.

Within minutes, George Costanza was in the apartment.

"So Jerry, you up for a trip to Monk's?" he asked.

"Ah, I can't, I've got a thing."

"A thing? What kind of thing?"

"Well, you remember my agent Katie?"

"The one that set you up at the school talent show?" George asked.

"Uh-huh" Jerry said, "well this time she got me a gig doing a spot on the Magic Toolbox."

"Magic Toolbox?" George asked.

"It's some kind of kid's show about dancing tools or something" Jerry explained "anyway, they have these segments where kids talk about different topics, and this week's one is comedy. So I have to go to this Elwood City place to film it."

"Dancing tools" George scoffed "I remember the shows we watched as kids were much better. I always liked Sesame Street. Now there was a show; you could learn letters and numbers and there were colorful characters to look at. I remember my dad would always complain about Oscar. I think maybe he thought they based the character on him."

"A dirty, hairy guy who yells at everyone? I can see that" Jerry replied.

"Why are you doing a kids show anyway?" George asked, "I thought you hated kids."

"I don't hate them, I just think they're annoying" Jerry replied.

Just then there was a knock at the door. Jerry went to open it and found himself face to face with his sworn enemy.

"Hello Jerry"

"Hello…Newman" Jerry replied.

"I heard through the grapevine that you're going to be on the Magic Toolbox" Newman said "I'm looking forward to watching your performance, so I can see you crash and burn in front of all those children!"

"Okay, first of all, what is this grapevine?" Jerry asked "secondly, I find it hard to believe someone like you would watch the Magic Toolbox. You seem more like a Sesame Street man, seeing as how you look like Cookie Monster."

"Scoff all you like Jerry, but you'll make a mistake in front of those children" Newman replied "and when you do, I'll be watching and laughing!"

So saying, Newman took his leave of the apartment.

"There is something really wrong with that guy" Jerry told George.

"Are you sure you have to leave immediately?" George asked "we can't stop at Monk's for like, a minute? Two minutes? Five minutes Jerry, that's all I ask!"

"Okay, I guess we can pick up some breakfast before I go" Jerry said.

As they headed out, Kramer burst into the room.

"Hey Jerry, where you headed?"

"To Monk's for some breakfast. You wanna come?"

"Giddyup."

-----

While they enjoyed breakfast at Monk's, Elaine showed up and joined them.

"So get this" she said, "Peterman decided to start a kid's line of clothing for the catalog and guess who he put in charge of it?"

"I'm guessing you" Jerry replied.

"Me!" Elaine exclaimed "I mean, how stupid of an idea is this? What kid in their right mind would wear clothes from our catalog?"

"Ones who like bizarre clothing descriptions, I'd wager" Jerry added.

"So now I have to fly out to this Elwood City place and…"

"Hold on, you're going to Elwood City?" Jerry asked.

"Yeah, some rich guy there paid Peterman a whole bunch of money to let his daughter be the model for the clothes. So now I have to fly out there and find this little brat, and…"

"What a coincidence, I'm also going to Elwood City" Jerry said.

"No."

"Yes. I've got a guest spot on the Magic Toolbox and I'm flying out after breakfast" Jerry explained.

"Let me come with you Jerry, please!" George begged "I can't stay home with my parents for one more minute. My dad has gotten much more unpleasant over the last few weeks."

"I can't take you, what are you going to do?"

"Maybe they'll let me work on the show" George suggested "they could have a puppet, I could work that."

"Not sure a show about tools has a puppet."

"He could be the host!" George said "you don't know that!"

"I'm coming too buddy" Kramer said "things have gotten pretty dull around here since Lomez started dating."

"How'd you like to help me on the modeling job?" Elaine asked "I can pay you five bucks an hour."

"I'm in."

"Why does everybody always go where I'm going?" Jerry asked.

----------------------------------------

In the next chapter, Jerry films his segment and meets the kids of Lakewood. Meanwhile, Kramer learns a secret about his past that puts him in direct contact with the crew.