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A/N: While surfing through Naruto fic recs, I found a SasuShika. It was …different. And, what's more amazing… it worked. I rediscovered my love for Naruto, not only for the anime and the manga and the plot thereof, but for the characters- of just how fanfics were just so damn fun. So I decided to write again, and I took SasuShika as a challenge. It sounds like crack, and I have seem one SasuShika crack out there, but after thinking about it, I think I have found a way it could work, and it intrigues me. It might suck. It might go OOC… Infact I think it will be OOC. I'll try not to. It's not planned- it's mainly something to get me writing again. I want to see where it goes.

WARNING: Slight AU. Yaoi, blah blah blah. I doubt it'd get too graphic, but still. It's Yaoi. No likey the yaoi? No read. Kthx.

Here we go.

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one
SUDDEN

it seems so obvious
there's something up with us
I swear, I feel it from across the room
so, can I ask you this?
not to be forward, miss-

but I think I'd kill myself
if I never knew...

- Inside of You, Hoobastank

---

He couldn't sleep.

It was different, very different- typically it was staying awake he had problems with. He would have been bothered- only, really, he didn't care.

He rested his head against his arm flat across the desk, staring nonchalantly at the mountain of paperwork he was faced with. Piles and piles of forms and papers regarding this year's chuunin applicants, to be read, edited, approved and filed away… his gaze wandered through the room, various ninja diligently working away at their desks, although there was an audible level of chatter- Shikamaru simply hadn't made many new friends among the chuunin, and he couldn't be bothered to. From where he was he could see the tell-tape hairstyles of the two ninja infront of him- Izumo and Kotetsu. He never saw them apart… sometimes, it made him wonder.

There were times, like now, when the clouds ailed to hold his interest. And he would settle to puzzling over people- not long after resigning to the uselessness of the task and drift into a nap. The people here, though, were hardly interesting. Izumo and Kotetsu's maybe-relationship was already whispered from ear to ear, and the people themselves were so clear and delibrate in their actions there was nothing to puzzle over. And so, finally, with a drawn-out sigh, he pulled an application of some Konoha genin infront of him and set to work, deciding that he would at least try to look forward to tonight.

Team Seven, Team Ten, Team Gai, and of course Team Eight. They had all become good friends over time, but with the hassle of their new lives they only talked in passing. It was all Sakura's idea- she was finally able to take some time off her strenous mentorship with Godaime-sama and she wanted to try and get everyone together, atleast for nice dinner. Chouji was all over it. Shikamaru hadn't really wanted to go, but Ino had convinced him- Chouji was going, after all, there was no convincing hima gainst it, and it'd be nice to see everyone in one place again. With people like Neji and even the mentors finally being able to take time off their busy schedules, it was a pity to waste a rare opportunity. A rare, but troublesome opportunity. Sakura had even called in Kankuro and Temari- the latter was supposed to arrive in a day or so anyway for some preparations for the examinations- although Gaara was obviously preoccupied. The kazekage does not leave as he pleases for parties and pleasantries.

Hai… mendokusee. How troublesome, he thought idly to himself, twiddling with his pen, wondering just when Temari was getting here, anyway.

---

He couldn't sleep.

He needed to. He was tired. Five days- five days this time, full training, no rest. Two days less than last time. He was getting weaker. He shouldn't be getting weaker. He should be getting stronger. He could almost feel his bones shaking, his knees straining as he held his stance- he could hear the weakness in his shallow, rattling breaths. People had come by. Naruto. Sakura. Some girls he didn't know and didn't bother himself with. Ino. A small, weak smile lingered on his lips- he thought of Naruto, the way he was so worried- the way he insisted on Sasuke getting at least some food (Ramen is very good for training, Sasuke!)… and then the way he stopped, nodded grimly and turned away without a word, when he finally understood. That idiot finally understood. He would not rest. He must get stronger. The smile turned into a small scowl- Naruto.He was so much stronger now.

Kakashi had come by. He had watched, quietly, without a word- Sasuke never saw him take his eye off the pages of Icha Icha Paradise, but he didn't need to to know he was watching. He stayed there for hours- even when in the pouring rain. He only corrected Sasuke on his posture once, and hours later, left without another word.

Ino. Honestly, Ino was worse than Naruto sometimes. All she did was Oh, Sasuke-kun, you're so strong! and You have so much stamina, Sasuke-kun, I could never do that! She couldn't understand. None of them could. He didn't care about how well he was- he only needed to get stronger. He was strong, but not enough. The title of jounin meant nothing to him. There was only one thing, one person, he would measure himself against. Only one.

Ever since the day they snatched him back from the Sound, ever since they shook him awake and heard Naruto screaming about how he shouldn't have done anything, ever since he saw Sakura crying that he was alive, Kakashi looming overhead, even his eyes filled with relief- he knew he didn't want that again. He didn't want to be that pathetic. No one had to care about him. He would make it on his own. He didn't need Orochimaru. He didn't need anyone.

His knees buckled- he cursed under his breath. He was weak. Tired.

Your arm is too low, Sasuke-kun. Are you tired?

He grit his teeth. Kakashi did it on purpose, he was sure. That mocking tone in his voice, the knowing look in his eye…

Then why don't you head home, Sasuke-kun? I'm sure Sakura-chan would like you to be alive at dinner.

He wanted to punch him in the teeth. Kakashi was mocking him, he knew, because Kakashi thought he wouldn't go- knew he wouldn't go. But he wanted to prove him wrong.

And he would. He would head home now. Not to rest, he told himself, but to get ready. He had a party to go to.

---

It was nice to see everyone again, but it didn't stop the party from being troublesome.

Chouji was of course helping himself to heaps of the food Sakura had provided, and Ino, having given up on trying to prod Shikamaru into actually initiating some conversation (Chouji already knew it was pointless) was chiding him on his eating habits (and everyone except Ino knew that was pointless). Sakura came over to talk to him, too, but the conversation had been nothing but an idle exchange of "Oh, I did some paperwork" and "Oh, what kind?" and "Oh, Tsunade-senpai has been teaching me some medical ninjutsu" and "Oh, is she hard on her students?" and all matter of such meddlesome conversations. Women, Shikamaru thought, sipping idly from his drink. Troublesome creatures.

Even Shino was doing some form of socializing in that he was offering up some words now and then and actively listening in a group of conversing people. It was a large group- Naruto, Sakura, Lee, Neji, Gai, Kakashi, Kiba, Hinata... who, surprisingly, was not fainting at the mere sight of Naruto, although she clearly avoided his gaze. Naruto, Gai and Lee had begun a "Who could eat the most ramen?" contest, clearly ignoring Chouji just behind them, and Sakura, Neji, Kakashi, Kiba and Hinata were just catching up while laughing at the competitor's antics. They had all already talked a little or waved to Shikamaru, but while Shikamaru was trying very hard not to think about who wasn't there, he saw Kurenai coming in late, and felt something stab at his chest. He shoved it aside, refusing to linger- when something caught his eye.

Lingering in the corner of the room, he was seated on one fof the other tables Sakura had set up (only the table with the food on it and the one with the crowd around it was really getting any use), conveniently hidden in the shadow. His hair was black- bangs fell infront of his face on either side, a strand lingering across an intense gaze.

Shikamaru stared. And the figure stared back. He was hardly seen around, nowadays, spending most of his time training in parts of the woods only Team 7 and Sasuke's many stalkers knew how to find. Ever since the day Shikamaru led that disastrous mission and just barely managed so snatch Sasuke back from them, he had become even more withdrawn. The story was passed around- the lone survivor of the Uchiha massacre, perpetrated by his very own brother, genius and pride of the clan. Shikamaru had never thought much of it- there were many people out there, wandering around for vengeance, consumed by their obsessions. But never before had he ever looked one in the eye.

Shikamaru noticed his mouth was open. He closed it hastily, slightly embarassed- but he could not break that gaze. It was intense, the way his eyes bored into yours- Shikamaru didn't know what to make of it, but after some time nodded slowly in greeting- and it was some time after when it was returned.

"Shikamaru!" Ino stormed over. "Chouji is stuffing himself and I can't control him! Shikamaru! What are you staring at!?" she demanded, turning to see for herself.

Shikamaru was, despite himself, highly amused- for at that moment he saw "oh shit, not again" spelled clearly across the Sasuke's face.

"SASUKE-KUN!"

There was much swarming and one-sided fawning and ignoring, and people went over to say their greetings- Naruto fumed, of course, because it was at that moment when he had decided to make the final heroic charge for five very large bowls of ramen, turning around to find that there were no witnesses to this grand deed. Kakashi hung back, clearly amused, and caught sight of just what Sasuke was staring at- that gaze, that stare, it never did break. He smiled cheerily and waved, walking over to him, and Shikamaru braced himself for a nother troublesome conversation- although admittedly he had never talked to Kakashi much before.

"Yo, Shika-kun."

"Ah- Kakashi-sensei!" Shikamaru jerked his gaze away from Sasuke's, finally breaking the tension.

Kakashi pulled himself a seat and settled comfortably, kicking back and pulling the trademark book from his pocket. "How's it going?"

"Well, ah... there's a lot of work to be done…" Why was he so nervous? How needlessly troublesome.

"Ah, the exams are just around the corner, aren't they?" Kakashi nodded knowingly.

"Yeah. Yeah, they are." The disability to think straight was rather new to Shikamaru, and he was not sure he liked it.

"You seem nervous, Shika-kun. Is something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing. "

"You saw Sasuke just now, didn't you?"

Shikamaru nodded. He sighed- leaned back into the chair and tried to settle back into his nonchalant self, watching dark clouds drift across the darker sky through the window. But that gaze, that stare- that look in his eyes, burned the image in his mind and he could see it, somewhere in the stars as the clouds drawled lazily past them, undaunted by the haunting gaze.

They fell into a silence, and Kakashi finished reading a few pages ofIcha Icha Paradise before breaking it. "He's lost, now, even more than before."

"Eh?"

"I thought that maybe if he saw how worried we were, he might stop going after him. Stop chasing. But it only drove him further…"

"You're worried about him?"

Kakashi paused. He was not sure exactly why he had went to talk to Shikamaru, and not sure exactly why he said what he did. What he was sure of, however, was that he knew just what Shikamaru had seen- there was a deadly obsession, a single-minded determination, that lurked in Sasuke's gaze. He knew Naruto would never understand. He knew Sakura could never understand either- and that she had long since moved on, finally accepting her place and coming to her own understanding of the shinobi. But he also knew that for quite some time before Shikamaru had turned to see Sasuke- Sasuke was already looking at him. If anything, it would give Shikamaru an excuse…

"He was looking at you, before you saw him."

"How long was he there?"

"Quite long. You should ask him about it."

"What?"

"You don't want to know why he was staring at you for that long?" A single raised eyebrow was enough to carry the tone.

"No."

…Hm. Kakashi thought to himself. Naruto, he is not. Perhaps I should've noticed that sooner. Mental note: Hit self on head.

"Why would I want to bother myself with someone was troublesome as Sasuke? He can stare if he wants to. It doesn't bother me." Shikamaru crossed his arms and leaned further back in the chair, tilting it slightly to get a better view of the sky, watching as the clouds shifted in the wind.

"I see." Well, he tried.

"I already have to deal with all these troublesome women…"

"All these troublesome what?"

Shikamaru snapped upright. Temari and Kankuro had just arrived, and Kankuro behind his sister shook his head slowly- with a wide grin. Temari had a hand on her fan- and was absolutely fuming. And Shikamaru knew he had incurred the wrath of a particularly wrathful woman.

"I'll see you later, Shika-kun!"

"Ah- Oy! Kakashi-sensei!"

---

What a troublesome night.

He walked home slowly, massaging a bruise on the side of his head- the doing of Temari's fan. After awhile people gave up gathering around Sasuke and the party settled back down, and after some talking people slowly dissipated in groups. Shikamaru left first and alone, dizzy from the hit and not too keen on getting on the wrong side of Temari's temper again. Chouji had offered to come with him, but Shikamaru had insisted that he stayed- it was clear that he wanted to spend time with his food, anyway.

He was looking at you, before you saw him.

It bothered him.

Shikamaru came home and greeted his parents, dealt with their troublesome bickering, and made his way upstairs into his own room. He sat down on the familiar bed with a low, tired sigh. His room was a mess, and his mother would have a fit for it later, but it was far too troublesome to clear up anything now. The only thing that was neat in his room was the shogi board in the corner, neatly set up and waiting to be played- only there was no one to play with, now. Neji played the odd game with him, but... it wasn't the same.

He jumped- there they were again. Eyes that bore into his very soul. Did no one else notice? How could no one else see- they were all fawning over him, they had to have seen those eyes. Wherever he looked- he closed his eyes and they were still there, a lingering afterimage looming in the darkness.

Great, Shikamaru thought. How am I going to get any sleep now? How troublesome.

He did his best to cast the memory aside, removing the chuunin vest and the baggy long-sleeved shirt he wore beneath and kicking back on the bed and doing his best to get some well deserved rest.

---

So it was another day of tiring paperwork, and nothing much happened.

Shikamaru had managed to ignore the image burned in his mind- for the most part.

It appeared when he was looking through applications of hopeful Konoha genin, when he greeted Iruka-sensei and Shikamaru ran into him while delivering messages, when he and Temari had taken a walk around the village during one of the only breaks of the day- she gave him a few haughty glares and seemed concerned for his head for approximately four seconds, troublesome woman. When he ran into Neji who offered a game of Shogi, but he refused. When he found Chouji and Ino looking for him trying to drag him away from work to relax a little, but he found he couldn't fully unwind even though they were doing their best. When he saw Naruto, as usual, shoving Ichiraku ramen down his throat, waving enthusiastically when he walked past. When he walked to the training fields, lay himself down and watched the sky, trying to ignore the image that lurked through the clouds. When he saw someone in the forest.

He tensed instinctively, years of shinobi training springing into action. He did not take his gaze off the sky but just out of the corner of his eyes tried to catch the figure in the woods- and it took him a few seconds to realize who it was, and he bolted upright- but Sasuke was no longer there.

His mind was ticking, working- he took stock of the clearing, his hand instinctively on the kunai all ninja kept dangling by their sides. But despite everything, when he thought all was clear and he turned around, he gasped in surprise to see Sasuke on the ground next to him, legs crossed and arms behind his head, a smirk on his face. They stared at each other but it was Sasuke who looked away this time, his gaze trailing to the sky.

Shikamaru continued to stare, his mouth dry. Was Sasuke stalking him? Why bother? It was awhile later when he collapsed to the floor with a heavy sigh. What had dragged him into such a troublesome matter?

Shikamaru cast his gaze to the sky, waiting for Sasuke to speak- something, anything, just something to acknowledge why he was there, but the words never came. Sasuke never particularly liked to talk- which suited Shikamaru just fine, he reflected, as Shikamaru never particularly liked to listen. And time passed as the clouds rolled by, drifting in the wind… So free, Shikamaru thought to himself, But caught in the current… drifting. He had always thought himself a cloud, a lazy songbird that drifted in the breeze, going where it took him. And he watched Sasuke, in the corner of his eye… Then what are you, Sasuke? …What are you doing? It was confusing- a puzzle, and one that he could not solve. And it bothered him, as much as he hated to admit it, as troublesome as it was.

And he watched the clouds, for awhile, and looked back- and Sasuke was gone, only an indent in the grass to show he was ever there. No tracks leading off. No trail of broken grass, no flick of tall stems among the others swaying slowly in the wind. Nothing. Shikamaru stood up and made his way through the woods, deciding that now would be a good time to go home and get some rest, wondering just what that unforgettable murderous glare was looking for in the sky.

A mere three minutes in the woods and he was winded- Shikamaru swore he heard bark crack behind his back as it slammed against the tree, one arm trapped between his body and the trunk. The grip against his neck was powerful, cold, slender, pale, pinning him down, his other arm pinned forcefully back, blood trickling down the back of his hand from the rough, scraping bark. And those eyes- murderous, dark, searching, yet mysteriously blank and still, staring into two twin pools of still, black water, a pond with a still surface but torrents and turmoils that lurked beneath. Shikamaru could feel the breath against his neck, warm, steady, calm, not panicked in the least. His instincts roared within his mind- trapped, captured, escape- get out, get out, get out. His legs twitched to kick at his captor but the only response was a tightening grip, his head forced back, shoulders slamming again against the tree- the body drew closer to his, pressing chest against chest, warm, sweaty- and it was then when the voices in his mind cried out. Earlier it was an attack- an enemy against a target, cold, calculated, distant- but now…

"Sa-Sasuke…" he managed to gasp- he felt dizzy, gasping, Sasuke's grip so tight around his slender neck- his vision began to swim and all he could see was black hair against black, the leaves and the shadows and vines of the forest a blur- and those eyes. "Sasuke… what… what are you doing?"

There was no reply, and Shikamaru did not expect one. But his mind was racing, his heart pumping, adrenaline coursing through his body- he wanted to strike back, retaliate, break free, but this was Sasuke- not really a friend, not even much of an acquaintance, but a shinobi, a comrade- but he realized, in the cold reality of those slender fingers scraping against his neck, he couldn't if he tried.

And in the tense silence and ravaging breaths, Sasuke pressed his arm against his so that their elbows met and his scraped painfully across the trunk- and Sasuke's fingers slipped between his, intertwined, quickly and hastily, no softness to it, nails buried painfully in the back of his hand and digging into his wrists. Shikamaru's eyes widened as Sasuke drew closer, slowly for awhile, and did not have time to protest or react- desperately he searched Sasuke's eyes, for some kind of hint of intention, but there was nothing as Sasuke's lips closed around his.

It was forceful, clumsy, harsh- nothing like kisses were supposed to be, as Shikamaru had heard Ino rail about times and times before. It was almost hungry, desperate, as though they had to convey everything Sasuke's eyes would not- and as ironic as it was, Shikamaru, so skilled at reading people under their words, could not read Sasuke's lips. He resisted, of course, but Sasuke was insistant- so needy, and Shikamaru thought, after all, it was troublesome to. And as soon as his own lips parted Sasuke wasted no time- he pressed even further, and even as Shikamaru's own eyes closed he knew Sasuke's never did- and he felt those fingers dig even deeper into his hand, felt the hand on his neck slowly loosen and trace around his face- it was wrong, so deeply wrong, so strange and perverse that if Shikamaru ahd not gained the ability to shamelessly ignore things and drift into nothingness in his mind, he would've thrown up. But there was something- something that bothered him, a voice that whispered, then why aren't you fighting back?

Because I can't, he would answer, Sasuke would best me easily.

Does it matter? It would answer mockingly. You could at least try- resist. And when there was no reply, Is it too troublesome? Or are you curious- painfully curious as to why?

He was, he thought bitterly, in the strangest way. Maybe his past just has him twisted- perverse, wrong, painfully sick.

Or do you like it?

And as he was pinned against the tree, his body limp, Sasuke's tongue so hungrily devouring him and licking and tasting around his own limp tongue, he realized he didn't know.

But how else could you be so relaxed?

And he began to notice his own hand gripping Sasuke's his turn- a low gasp that rumbled his throat against Sasuke's mouth, his own head tilting slightly upward-

How does that make you any less sick than he is?

---

NOTES: Oh my god, it ate my formatting. And I still don't have it quite as it used to be. Bah. School's starting up soon, but I should still be ablet o get the next chapter up in decent time... please R&R, and I apologize if it's poorly written or OOC.

A/N: 1/7/08- Updated for some typo fixes and a random bit at the start. I still think I missed some.