Four Suits

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor ever will, Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters within.

Chapter 1: Shuffle

..0..

"Smile!" The photographer called and the happy couple smiled. The camera flashed and the smell of the chemicals rose in the air. Ed was standing nearby and he smiled as he sniffed, mentally calculating the composition of the formula.

"Hey shorty," Havoc stood right behind him and Ed sighed.

"Not again, Havoc." He sighed, shaking his head. "Do you have to do that?"

"Of course. It's part of my job."

"You won't have a job, Havoc, if you don't stop smoking in the office." The Colonel's voice broke in and Ed grinned. "Hawkeye has put in another 'request'."

"If she would let me have my break back, I wouldn't need to smoke in the office," Havoc protested.

"Perhaps you should quit." Maes Hughes joined in and Ed had to swallow a laugh. Even the bastard looked like he was having trouble keeping a straight face. Havoc quitting smoking? Not in this lifetime.

"I'll quit smoking when you stop waving those pictures around," Havoc snapped and they all burst out laughing.

The flash of a camera went unnoticed.

Ed hid the yawn behind his gloved hand and looked around the room again. All white ribbons and flowers. Why were weddings white, he wondered. Wouldn't red or blue or even that ghastly yellow shade the bridesmaids were wearing have been better than all this boring white?

It had probably been a nice wedding, not that he would know. He hadn't been to one before, but everyone was smiling so it must be good. The biggest smiles were those of Maria Ross… no, Brosh now, and Denny. He watched them moving around the room, talking to all their guests.

His eyes went around the room again. How strange to see everyone out of uniform. In fact he couldn't see anyone wearing anything that came close to that shade of blue. Which was a good thing, he thought. Nine-tenths of the people here were from the military and he didn't know many of them. His military service had been a very solitary affair and other than the bastard Colonel's staff, he knew almost no-one.

He leant his elbows on the table and put his chin on the back of his hands. His eyes spotted the Colonel and he smirked at seeing him. Typical bastard, he thought as he saw the blonde beside him. His head tilted as he studied her. He wondered if there was a brain in there as she flipped her long hair over one shoulder and her long painted nails fiddled at the split in her dress. He tilted his head the other way. If that split went much higher, he'd be able to see her navel, he was sure of it. And if she leant over like that again, he'd be able to see it from above as well. The Colonel always seemed to have something decorative at his side, he pondered and then frowned. He wasn't going to go there, that was too close to the questions he had been avoiding from Al.

He looked away quickly and blinked. Was that Fuery dancing with Hawkeye?

He smiled. Fuery barely came up to the blonde sharpshooter's chin, but Ed could see a gentle smile on Hawkeye's face and knew she wasn't going to say a thing. Hawkeye had more tact than anyone he had ever met.

Falman and Sheska moved past them and he wondered what they were talking about. The grey haired man looked almost animated as he smiled and spoke enthusiastically about something. Probably book-related. It was the only thing Ed could think of that would interest both of them.

Breda and Armstrong were at a table near the dancers. Ed frowned. It looked like they were building small forts from the table accoutrements. He knew how much Breda loved strategies, but Armstrong? He thought for a moment before realising that having an ostentatious military pedigree would automatically infer an equally ostentatious interest in all military areas. And Armstrong's were probably read strategies as bedtime stories in their infancy.

"We're going to dance, Brother." Al interrupted his thoughts and he turned to smile at his younger, but taller, brother.

"Sure thing, Al." He watched his brother and Winry head to the dance floor. He smiled. It really was good to see Al here, and he hadn't missed noticing the closeness between him and Winry. His brother had rarely left the mechanic's side. His lips twitched. His brother had a crush. It was understandable, he figured. Al lived with Pinako and Winry, who else was there? He watched them. He let out his breath as he saw that dirty-blond head lean closer to Winry.

He didn't see Al often enough anymore. It had been a stupid argument and Edward had come stomping back to Central fourteen months ago. Not only had he marched in and demanded to be re-enlisted, he had refused to call Al for two whole weeks. When Hawkeye had finally forced him at gunpoint, it had taken them ten minutes to apologise without actually saying sorry. But Ed had decided to stay in Central and not ask to have his re-enlistment revoked, and both had understood why.

He sighed and turned at a burst of well-known laughter. Maes Hughes was leaning back in his chair, laughing at someone across the table as Elysia slipped from his lap. The tall lanky man always seemed to radiate good humour. Ed smiled, the man was a major pain in the ass, and he was probably the only one he trusted around here. Ed had never seen him anything but cheerful, even when he was working, the humour was always lurking. Ed envied him slightly. To be able to rise above everything and be able to smile like that. Everyone knew just how devastated Hughes had been after Gracia had died. He didn't know how Hughes did it. He wished he had had that gift. He had always felt as if he had been carrying an extra shadow with him the whole time they had been searching for the stone.

A smothered curse turned his head and he saw Havoc at Breda and Armstrong's table. He was holding his cigarette packet above the barricade it had been used in. He could almost hear the accompanying insults as Havoc's sleeve caught on one of the watchtowers and tipped it over. Ed smirked; just as well that glass had been empty. Havoc merely grinned and moved away, probably to find the smoker's corner. Ed saw the other two begin to straighten up the lines to continue playing. There really was no other word for it.

He caught Al staring at him as he idly followed Havoc's progress. He knew Al was just waiting for the right time to start in on him again. But Ed felt fairly safe at the moment; he didn't think Al would start that conversation here. But Al was stubborn and determined. And he believed that his elder brother was incapable of looking after himself, which meant that Al would use the first opportunity to take him to task. He frowned, turning away. He didn't need to hear it all again.

Ed stood up, pushing his chair back abruptly. He had thought that once Al was restored everything would be perfect, but it wasn't and watching them all was reminding him of that. He wove his way past several tables, brushing past everyone without consideration and through the doors leading out to the hallway and a small conservatory beyond.

"Brother, wait!"

He stopped and sighed. He put a smile on his face and turned as Al approached him.

"Hey Al, thought you were still dancing."

"You weren't thinking of leaving were you, Brother?" Al looked at his brother, ignoring Ed's remark.

"I was just going to look around for a moment." Ed said, but his eyes gave him away and they both knew it.

"The conservatory is the other way, Brother. The only thing at this end of the hall is the door out." Al pointed out deliberately.

"Just let it go, Al." Ed said quietly.

"I can't. Come back home, Brother." Al replied.

"Why?" Ed looked up to meet his brother's almost silvery grey eyes. "You know I'd only get bored there."

"But we'd be together. And there's all our old friends there." Al persuaded. "I miss you, Brother."

Ed didn't reply. It always came down to that one. Al missed him. He missed Al too, but he knew he just wasn't suited to stay in that small place anymore. And lately there had been other issues between them.

"You know I can't leave the Military, Al."

"That's not true. You've repaid back all the help they gave us. All you have to do is ask the Colonel for a discharge. He'll let you go." Al almost pleaded with his brother.

Ed lowered his head and let his breath out, slipping his hands into his trouser pockets so Al wouldn't see them tighten.

"Al," he began in a low voice. Golden eyes looked up. "I just don't feel I belong there anymore."

"You don't belong here either, Ed." Al sighed. "It's only because you feel guilty. You're going to stay on this leash forever and never feel you paid. Let's face it, Brother. I'm never going to remember everything. There will always be these holes in my memories."

"I made you a promise, Al." Ed said stubbornly.

"And you kept it." Al stared at him. "You just don't want to come home. Why? You don't have a life here, Brother. You never seem to go out, you never go anywhere but the Library and you sit at a desk all day."

"How do you know that?" Ed's eyes went wide. He hadn't realised Al knew anything of his life here.

"I heard Winry and Sheska talking. I'm worried about you." Al's voice changed slightly and Ed's eyes narrowed.

"Don't start that again, Al." Ed said his voice dropping.

"But Ed…"

"No. There is nothing wrong with me."

"But even Winry says it's not natural…"

"I don't care what Winry thinks, Al. My private life is just that, private!"

"But Ed, what if you are, you know…?"

"If I'm what, Alphonse?" Ed's voice went dark. "Not normal, different? You think returning to Resembool will fix it?" He seemed to grow a bit taller as he grew angry. "I don't have a problem and I sure as hell do not need you to tell me I do!"

"Then why don't you get a girlfriend, Edward? Every time we talk about this, it goes nowhere."

"Because I don't want one. Is that so hard to understand, Al? Just because you're crushing on Winry does not mean I have follow suit as well."

Al blushed but his eyes hardened. "Edward, you don't even look at girls."

"Why should I?" Ed bit his tongue hard and pulled his hands from his pockets and ran them through his hair as he paced a circle, coming back to face his brother. "Has it ever occurred to you that I might just not be interested in that sort of thing at all? That I could find all that relationship stuff to be completely pointless and a waste of time? That I don't look at girls, or guys, because I really don't care?"

Al stared at him. "I don't believe you. No-one is that self-sufficient. Not even you, Brother." Grey eyes glowed. "Everyone needs someone. When we were little, we needed each other. You were the one that kept crawling into my bed when it rained."

"That's because the thunder scared you."

"No, that's what you always claimed. But you were the one who was more scared than I was."

"Are you quite finished?" Ed asked, his voice going frosty.

"No, not by a long shot. Ed, you're my brother. You're the only family I have. I don't want you to be here all alone. I want you to come home and be with me."

"Enough Al. I like it here and I'm not alone here." He drew his breath and let it out slowly. "You're my brother, you'll always be my brother, but I'm staying here."

"And what about finding someone to share it with?" Al asked, persistently. "You're like me, you need people. Who else is going to understand those nightmares, Brother?"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Al!" Ed glared at him. "You are so damned stubborn. I don't need anyone, I never got scared of the thunder, I don't have nightmares and if I ever do find someone, you will be the last to know!"

Ed turned around and stormed straight into the conservatory. Damned Al and his driving need to set his brother up. 'So you won't be lonely, Brother.' And going home meant getting set up with all Winry's friends. To make him stay there. And now this idea that Ed liked guys, because he didn't look at girls. Sometimes Al really was reaching and it was just such a pain and he wished Al, love you too Brother, would just butt out and leave him the hell…

"What the fuck?" Ed tripped and his hands hit the paved floor as the rest of him tumbled over. He sat on the floor and looked around. The conservatory was a small maze of paths and alcoves amidst the lush greenery. Ed really didn't care for plants and his eyes focused on the two long black clad legs that he had just fallen over. He followed them up to the man reclining back on the small bench.

"Bastard! You did that on purpose." He glared at the dark-haired man and felt his effort wasted as the bastard didn't even look at him as he took a sip of his drink.

"Hardly, Fullmetal. It's not my fault your legs cannot even manage a task as simple as stepping over something."

"Who are you calling so small that he…!" Ed's voice automatically rose but he really wasn't feeling up to exorcising his demons through a tantrum this time and the Colonel's eyes were still looking past him anyway. The bastard wasn't even paying attention.

Ed sighed and heaved himself up from the floor, debating whether to go back or try to leave again. Going back meant facing Al… and Winry; because he knew Al would tell her everything that had happened. He flopped onto the bench beside Mustang. Maybe he should try to leave again, maybe he could sneak out, but he would bet that Al would be watching the hallway for just such an occurrence. Maybe there was a back way out of the conservatory.

Al just didn't understand, that's all, he thought. Al had Winry and somewhere he felt he belonged. Perhaps Al was right and he didn't belong here in Central, but Ed knew he didn't belong in Resembool either. Al was right about something else too. He did feel guilty at not completely restoring his brother, but he didn't see staying in the Military as his penance for that failure.

"…Do you plan on staying here, Fullmetal?"

"Huh? Staying where, bastard?" Ed blinked and turned his head to meet the dark eyes staring at him.

"Here, on my bench Fullmetal."

"It's not your bench, Mustang. I can sit here if I want to." Ed replied, automatically taking the contrary path as he always did with the Colonel.

"Seeing a person alone in a secluded place usually means to most people that they want to be alone. Of course, you are rarely like most people once again it seems."

"I didn't ask you to start a conversation up. You can sit here and escape all you want." Ed turned to glare at him. Stupid bastard, what did he think he was playing at? It was a free bloody bench, wasn't it? And then he saw a dark eyebrow go up and cursed mentally as his hands clenched. He could see it coming. Mustang never cut him any slack; the man was just too fucking sharp.

"Escape?" The deep voice was sardonic and amused. "I'm not the one who stormed and cursed my way into this quiet retreat and I certainly never mentioned escaping."

"Shut up." Ed hissed. Damn the infuriating bastard. "It's none of your business anyway."

"And I am very thankful for that. If it is anything like our work 'business' it will surely be expensive and offend countless innocents." The sarcastic response fell between them and Edward bit his tongue, turning away as Mustang lifted his glass again. He always let the man goad him into losing his temper. And what purpose did it serve? None. It was going to distract him for a moment, but as soon as it was over, everything Al had said was going to be right in his face again. He sighed.

"Ed?" Mustang's voice sounded almost concerned and he shrugged the thought away.

"I think weddings only give people stupid ideas."

"I'm not that fond of them either." Ed turned his head at the strange echoes he heard in the deep voice, but Mustang was looking out across into the greenery again.

"This is the first one I've been to." He said almost hesitantly and looked away the second he saw the dark head begin to turn.

"They don't get any better."

Ed turned to meet the sombre dark eyes. Something was bugging the man that much was obvious. Ed couldn't hold that look and had to drop his eyes and resettle himself on the bench. Maybe escape had not been so far from the mark, but that look forbade any questions.

He sighed silently. And he was no better, hiding in here, looking for a way out. Hadn't he always gone forward? Regardless of what people thought or said? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Edward Elric did not run, he did not hide and he sure as hell did not let his little brother tell him what to do. He opened his eyes and stood up.

"Going somewhere, Ed?"

"Yep. Going back in there." He let his breath out and he looked at Mustang. "These things never get better?"

"Correct."

"Fuck," Ed muttered as he walked away, working his way along the narrow paths back to the hallway and reception room.

He was one step into the room when he was grabbed around the thighs by two small arms and he nearly fell backwards. A large hand suddenly appeared in the middle of his back.

"Steady Eddy." A light voice laughed near his ear and he turned his head to see Havoc behind him. "You been drinking?" The blue eyes twinkled at him.

"No, you…" He stopped in time as he looked down and saw Elysia looking up at him with very wide eyes. He swallowed the curse and smiled down at the little girl. "Hey, princess."

"Hey sport," Havoc looked over Ed's shoulder and down at her as well. Elysia smiled happily at both of them.

"Don't do that." Ed hissed between gritted teeth.

"Do what?" Havoc asked with laughter in his voice.

"You know what, you …"

"Have you seen Uncle Roy, big Brother?" Elysia interrupted him and he looked back down at her.

"Not me, sport," Havoc replied.

"He's in the conservatory." Ed replied, pointing back across the hall.

"He has to dance wi' me." She advised them seriously.

"Then you should make sure he does," Havoc smiled. They watched as she began to walk out of the room.

"You can move away now, Havoc." Ed said in a long suffering voice.

"One day you will be tall, Ed." Havoc laughed as he stepped back.

"One day I'm going rip off your legs." Ed retorted and walked back to his table. It was a stupid game they played. It had started soon after his return to Central. Havoc had stood beside him for some reason and Breda had commented on the height difference. Ed's tantrum had been spectacular according to all the witnesses. Since then, it had become a game and now it was a habit. The tantrums were gone, but the insults stayed. And although Havoc probably got more enjoyment out of it than Ed did, Ed didn't really mind it that much.

Ed sat down and scanned the room. He saw Al with Winry and Sheska and sighed. He had no doubt he was the main topic of that little council. And he had no doubt that Sheska would be sending back weekly, if not daily reports when Al and Winry left to go home. He really didn't see the need for all this concern. He was only eighteen, for fuck's sake. There was plenty of time. Just because they did these things earlier in the country than they did in the cities, was no reason he had to follow suit.

"Hey Ed!" He looked up and saw Maes Hughes bearing down on him.

"Lieutenant-Colonel." He said as he automatically moved backwards.

"Have you seen my little angel?" The bright eyes looked at him and although the man was smiling in his usual manner, the eyes were very intent.

"Yeah, she went to the conservatory, looking for the bastard." Ed replied quickly. Everyone knew how protective Maes Hughes was of his daughter. Ed was surprised Elysia had even managed to get more than ten feet from him. Hughes was very protective of Elysia.

"Thanks," was all he said as he headed that way and Ed grinned. No photos this time. He watched and saw Hughes nearly bump into Hawkeye, who for some reason had Elysia in her arms. Ed watched as Elysia pouted as Hughes spoke to her. He saw Hawkeye almost grin at something and then Hughes turned away heading into the hallway and leaving Hawkeye with Elysia.

Hawkeye saw Ed staring and walked towards him. He smiled at them both. Hawkeye looked so different out of uniform he thought.

"I couldn't find Uncle Roy. He's hiding." Elysia said, dejectedly as they got close and Ed's eyes opened wide.

"Maybe he turned into a …fish." He said, almost positive he had seen a fishpond in there, and wanting to take the pout from her little face. He saw the smile flash across Hawkeye's face as they both knew how much the bastard hated water.

"I wanted him to dance wi' me." She pouted again and he had to bite his lips to stop from laughing. He looked over to the conservatory. And Maes, ever protective of his daughter, had just gone to call him on it. He caught Hawkeye's eyes and they both grinned. The bastard was in for it now.

Loud laughter had them all turning around. Ed laughed, feeling light for the first time all day. Breda and Armstrong's game had come to a conclusion and both were now flexing and shouting their prowess to the room.

"Why don't you go and see Al. He was looking for someone to dance with earlier." Ed said, his face still reflecting his amusement, and shot a quick look across at his brother. Al was looking at him and Ed grinned back with the widest grin he could. He saw Al frown and narrow his eyes.

"'s good idea, big Brother." Elysia beamed at him and Hawkeye shook her head. She knew there were tensions between the brothers. Ed smiled at them both.

"It'll be fine, Hawkeye." He said and he saw her dubious head shake as she led Elysia over to Al. Ed watched as Al listened and then shot a filthy look his way. He grinned back and saw Al's hesitant smile before he turned to Elysia and nodded his head. Ed knew it hadn't cleared the air between them, but it was a start and at least Al wouldn't hate him too much when it came time for them to leave.

He sighed and leant back in his chair, watching as Al held her and they began to move around the floor. His eyes followed them and then caught sight of the Lieutenant-Colonel walking over to watch them as well. Ed looked back to the conservatory. No bastard was following him in. Hadn't he found him? He looked at Hughes again and surprised a frown on the long face. He didn't think Hughes knew how to frown. Maybe he had found the bastard after all, but what had happened to make Hughes look so bothered, he wondered. That was just unnatural.

'I don't look at girls or guys...' The words popped up into his mind and his breath puffed out. Would it change anything if he did, he wondered. He looked around the room and his eyes settled on Winry.

She was wearing a dress of reddish-pink, her hair was all styled somehow and she still looked like Winry to him. What did Al see in her, he wondered. They had all grown up together. What had made Al change and suddenly like her in a different way now? It didn't make sense to him. She was just Winry. She was never going to be anything other than a sister to him.

He looked around again and saw Lieutenant Hawkeye standing next to Havoc. She looked completely different in a dress. She certainly looked better than that flashy woman the Colonel had been with. He had a quick look around and couldn't see her, or the bastard. The Colonel had shit taste if he preferred that one to Hawkeye, he thought. See, he told himself, he could tell what looked good and what didn't. He wasn't completely clueless. He'd have to remember that for the next time he spoke to Al. He frowned.

Hawkeye was single, he was sure of it. How come no-one bugged her about relationships and preferences? Okay, the fact that she would shoot anyone who asked was one reason, but surely she had friends, or family, who would be annoying her about those things? It wasn't as if she was ugly or anything. She looked very nice.

Very nice. He sighed. It was doing nothing for him. He was looking, he was seeing and he could have cared less. Looking at women just didn't seem to make any difference to him, although he wasn't sure just what he was supposed to feel anyway. He looked around at a few others, thinking maybe he had chosen the wrong ones to start with and still nothing happened.

He looked back at Hawkeye and then at Havoc beside her. He was blond too. And tall, Ed scowled. The suit he was wearing made him look very different as well. His shoulders seemed broader and he tapered into a slim waist and long legs. Ed tilted his head. Why did the suit make him look so different? He could understand Hawkeye looking so different, but Havoc?

Why did Havoc keep losing out with the ladies, he suddenly wondered. He looked very nice too. It suited him and he even looked neat and tidy in it. Maybe it was just that the black suit made him seem much taller and almost elegant.

Ed watched as Havoc's eyes flicked from the Lieutenant to someone behind her and then back again. Ed looked and could only recognise Fuery standing in the small group there. Ed frowned as he saw the blue eyes flick towards the group again. Hawkeye smiled and moved away and he watched as Havoc looked at the group again. Only this time his gaze lingered. Was he looking at Fuery, Ed wondered and then blinked as he realised Havoc was staring at him now. A resigned expression seemed to flit across his face before he turned away and Ed was left wondering what the hell was going on.

Ed fell back onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. He didn't think he ever wanted to go to another wedding again. He had hated having to go and get a suit. He never wanted to do that again. He had found the marriage service long and drawn out. And the reception had left him with so many thoughts he didn't know where to begin.

Al. He loved his brother, he really did. But that didn't stop him from resenting his brother's unspoken assertion that he knew what was best for Ed. Ed didn't want to be looked after, and certainly not by his brother. They'd been self-sufficient for a long time. Just because Al wasn't at his side all the time anymore, didn't mean he couldn't do it on his own now.

He loved his brother, but Ed was glad he was going back to Resembool tomorrow.

And tomorrow he could go back to the office and the routines that were boring but at least he knew what to expect. He sighed. He did miss the travelling around. He wondered if he could get the bastard to send him somewhere. He frowned. The Colonel had been a bit distracted earlier. They had nearly had a conversation. Well, anything not said in a shout classed as a conversation normally. But there had been that one moment, just before he had left the conservatory, that the bastard had almost seemed human. Ed rolled over and sighed. Any humanity in that bastard would have disappeared by tomorrow. But he could still ask him.

Perhaps getting himself out of Central would help with the other problem. He didn't want his every movement sent back to Resembool. And he knew they had organised it, he had seen the looks. Did it really matter that he wasn't interested in having a relationship with anyone? Did it really matter that he wasn't interested in girls? Or guys he added quickly as an image of Jean Havoc suddenly appeared in front of his eyes. He blinked and it disappeared.

He shook his head. Just because the guy had looked so different in that suit was no real reason to suddenly think of him. They had all looked different. Even the Colonel had looked smoother than normal, he remembered. So why wasn't he thinking of the bastard? He had more charm than anyone else and he was always in control. He was perfect. Why not him instead of Havoc?

Ed rolled over to the other side and curled up tight. If there was one single reason that stopped Edward from thinking of being in a relationship with anyone, male or female, it was because of his imperfections. He had automail, he had scars, he wasn't whole and he had failed at so many things. How could he expect anything but to see his own imperfections reflected back at him?

Al would never understand that, he thought as he curled up tighter. No-one would understand that.

He was nearly asleep when an image of Havoc smiling over his shoulder followed him down.

The picture slowly developed in the darkened room. Two blonds, one black, one brown haired. Laughing, three grown men and one just on the cusp of adulthood. All in black suits, flowers in their buttonholes.

Ed's eyes were bright and his face clear of shadows as Havoc stood beside him, pointing at Hughes as he laughed. Maes was grinning back at him, his laughter writ large on his face. Roy had leant forward and his visible amusement was startling to those who had never seen him appear so open.

Storyline diverts from the anime after the Lab 5 incident and more information about that will appear as the story progresses…..

Author's Note: This is a split story, written in conjunction with Spirix…Both stories have the same title and chapter names. All events and occasions are written from different character's points of view. She will be writing from Roy's point of view and I will be doing Ed's. To know what Roy was doing while we were following Ed, you should be hightailing across to read Spirix's one... We will both be posting at the same time as the other... smiles…

And I want to wish you all a Happy New Year and best wishes for 2008 and thank you for all the support you have given me through this, my first year here.

silken :)