Title: Yesterday's Christmas
Authoress: PockyLoveLove
Rating: T
Summary: On Christmas night, Sasuke spends the magical time of the year remembering the only one Christmas of his childhood that mattered the most and yearns to return to its protective warmth.
Warning: Yaoi. Uchihacest. Unedited-ish/unbetaed-ish.
Disclaimer: Like I could really own Naruto…
A/N: Kai no Koneko (Ghost of the Moon on this site), since you're so hell bent on this pairing, this is dedicated to you XP (Even though, Naruto and Sasuke are still canon in my book :sticks out tongue:) So here is part 1 of the Christmas bundle I promised you! (which is late…no surprise there xD) Enjoy!
Yesterday's Christmas
PockyLoveLove
«Always Searching, Vying for a Way to Return…to Yesterday's Christmas»
It has been years.
Nine long years to be precise.
And the last Christmas he spent with his family still burned fiercely in his mind. The last Christmas he spent with his older brother…
Sasuke recalled everything from that day. From the unusual light snow that had descended upon the village, covering it in a blanket of sparkling white, to the bright Christmas lights adorning every house, shining like a beacon. He remembered it all.
He wanted to forget; wanted to wipe the memory from his brain. But it was impossible to erase the genuine affection he had felt, heating him to the very core of his heart. It was impossible to erase the image of his brother, smiling gently down at him in such a way, it stirred feelings inside of him which were never meant to exist.
And today, Christmas had come once more.
Sasuke craned his neck upwards to watch the gray sky as white crystals drifted from its cloudy depths. Rare snowflakes glided downward in a spiral, falling onto his raven black hair and midnight blue cloak. Visions of a younger version of himself walking along the frozen river's bank with his brother floated before his eyes. The warmth of his brother's hand, the secure feeling of standing so close next to him, the heat radiating from his coat which his brother had draped over him, the tiny smiles telling of a secret shared between only the two of them…he could remember them all.
Tugging on his pale blue muffler, the teen took a deep breath of the raw frozen air, irritating his throat. He exhaled, the heat of his breath becoming wisps of puffy white clouds.
Christmas always brought back unwanted memories.
"Watch me aniki!!" cried a six-year old Sasuke as he drew in a deep and long breath while his hands clumsily formed seals. Exhaling, the air mingled with his inner heat produced a tiny flame which flared out before dispersing.
Itachi smiled as he took a gentle hold of both hands. "Good job Sasuke. That was impressive for someone your age," he remarked in a soft-spoken tone.
The younger Uchiha beamed proudly as a faint blush painted his cheeks when he realized that his brother was grasping his hands.
Obsidian eyes fell from the sky towards the glassy surface of the frozen river. Down by the icy banks, he spotted shadows. Shadows of his memories taunting him… Taunting him of what he could never have again. Of what he could never return to again.
His feet began moving down the hill towards the solidified water. Where he had once poured his heart out on Christmas night.
Christmas always weakened his resolve.
"Ummm…an-aniki…"
The called upon individual glanced down. "Hm?"
"If I tell you something, you won't…hate me will you? After hearing it…"
"Of course not."
Gripping tighter onto his brother's hand, for he was suddenly overcome with embarrassment, Sasuke murmured out softly, "I-I…I love you, aniki…"
"I love you too, Sasuke," he replied, swinging their intertwined hands in a show of adoration.
"N-N-No, aniki…I mean that…" His cheeks burned as he uttered, "I love you…as mo-more than an older brother." Upon being met with silence, his face fell. "I know that it's wrong, but I…I don't know anymore aniki."
Itachi knelt down, releasing his hand to grasp his shoulders. "Sasuke, look at me."
Crestfallen onyx hued eyes slowly lifted from the ground to face his older brother. He dug his nails into the palm of his hand, ashamed of himself. His brother would probably hate him forever now; turn away from him in disgust.
"You are right; it is wrong to be in love your own brother in a romantic sense. It is forbidden and looked down up with disgust by all of society," began the older Uchiha. Sasuke could feel a kunai being twisted in his heart. "However, I do not care for what all of society thinks and believes to be normal for I love you as well."
And underneath the drifting snow, they embraced each other with all the love and warmth they held for each other.
Taking his hands out of his pockets, Sasuke wrapped his arms around himself, trying to find that warmth of his affection once more. Eyes snapping open, his arms dropped to his side as a deep frown wrinkled his brow. What was he doing?
Hands slipping back into his pockets, he turned away from the scene. He had trained himself to lock away these memories. Yet, every time, at this time of the year, they fled the prison and haunted him so freely. He scowled at himself, berating his weakness of being unable to let go.
Christmas always held such nostalgic feels for him.
"So tell me Sasuke, what else do you want for your Christmas present?" questioned Itachi as the two of them lazed in his bed, warmth surrounding both bodies.
Sasuke thought for a few seconds, placing a finger to his cheek and humming, "Hmmmm…" Snuggling closer to his brother's body, he said without any hesitation, "A kiss."
"A kiss?"
Vigorously nodding his head, the boy repeated, "Yup. A kiss."
Amused smile playing at his lips, Itachi placed a light kiss on the boy's raven locks. His lips moved down, pressing against his forehead. Staring into mirror onyx eyes, he pressed his lips against the younger boy's, locking them in a chaste kiss. Itachi pulled back and whispered,
"Merry Christmas, Sasuke."
Sasuke flushed at sweet gesture and hesitated before giving a quick kiss in return to his brother, who raised his eyebrows at the cute 'gift'.
"Merry Christmas."
As pale fingers reached up to brush against his lips, a dry laugh emerged from them, harsh and sorrowful. The sounds of a pained heart. Clutching his heart, he bunched up the fabric there, body shaking with one solitary, desperate wish as trembles raked through him.
So foolish. He had been so foolish. Delirious with happiness and blind with love, caught up in the magical moments that Christmas had offered. He had been so foolish.
Even though his brother had left him, it never stopped. And still, year after year, Christmas always came without fail. Despite that there was no one left for Sasuke to celebrate the magical holiday with. Despite that the only one person he wanted to celebrate the warmth with while soaking in the endless love they offered was gone. Sasuke only wished, on these lonely, cherished Christmas nights, that he could return to that fairy tale Christmas night.
Christmas always had him wishing to return to yesterday's Christmas.
A/N: Short and angsty. I know that it's already been four days since Christmas has passed but oh well. This is my first Uchihacest fic and I gotta say, it was pretty fun writing this. Normally, it takes me a really long time to finish a fic, but this one-shot only took a few hours. Hope you enjoyed! (Despite being so late hahahah XDDD)