Frustrations

Fred angirly sat down again in his original chair, arms folded tight to his torso, legs cross feircly in front of him. He couldn't believe she had turned him down again, it was only the one hundred thousanth time he'd tried. He thought maybe with it being the Yull Ball that she might just, for once, let her guard down and say yes but still she had said no. He just couldn't work out what he was suppose to do in order to get her to want him as much as he wanted her. Although everyone knew he liked Megan, he didn't think they quite understood just how much he liked her, and not even he was sure that it was a simple 'like' anymore...he was pretty sure he was falling in love with the very girl who continously turned him down and had failed to show him any signs of feelings back in the past five years. Some people like George and Ron couldn't understand why Fred liked Megan so much and their reasons were althogether true.

Megan was the exact opposite to Fred. She was studious, in some ways an older version of Hermione but perhaps even more inteligent. She was quiet and didn't appear to like attention thrust upon her, something Fred reveled in. She was an extremely generous and caring person and was often a shoulder to cry on and she would never dream of picking on someone for the fun of it, like Fred did on many occassions. Looks wise Megan was more of a natural beauty then an obvious one. She had long brown hair which fell down her back, large brown eyes which had a natural twinkle and a caring heart shaped face. She was a year younger then Fred but he had been enarmoured with her ever since the first time she had been decleared a Gryffindor.

He'd made a complete fool of himself the first time he had ever spoken to her. It was a few hours after the sorting, and Megan had been sitting in the common room talking to some of her fellow first years. Fred decided to introduce himself and as he struted over, managed to catch his foot in his robes and fall flat on his face, braking his nose in the process and leading to an outcry of laughter from everyone in the room (George had never let him live it down). Megan was the only person who had come forward to check he was okay, and then accompanied him to the hospital wing where Madam Pomfry had fixed him up in a heartbeat. From that day forward, he was besotted with Megan.

He always played the funny man around her and although she laughed at his jokes he was sure she was only doing so in an attempt not to hurt his feelings. She helped him with his homework, she'd sit and talk to him but she never showed any signs that she liked him back. So after several weeks he decided to go for it and ask her out. He had found her sitting in the library and unwillingly insulted her for being in there in the first place, not exactly how he had planned things to go and they didn't get any better. Megan smiled at him gentally as she turned him down, claiming she didn't really know him to well and just wanted to concentrate on her studies. His heart sunk to the pit of his stomach but he was undetered, and decided on trying to get to know her more but still that failed to work.

He tried everything from being even funnier to being studious and serious but nothing seemed to get to Megan the way he wanted. He tried pretty much every week, surprising her with small gifts from Hogsmead or inviting her along to watch him train for Quiddicth. She was always friendly and did occassionally come to watch trainning with some of her friends, although the sessions she did come to watch, Fred normally found he ended up making a fool of himself as he so often did around her by falling off his broom or getting hit by a bludger his brother sent after him but whenever he asked her out she said no.

There were times when Fred wondered if maybe he was wasting his time but he just couldn't bring himself to give up on Megan. She was an obsession to him. Sometimes he'd sit in the common room and watch her studying, or he pretend he had to go to library to research something for a new invention when he knew she'd be in there. He loved so many different things about her, in particular the way she tended to mindlessly curl her long hair in her fingers when she was reading by the fire, and smiled to herself when she read something funny, the way she rhythemically tape her quill to an unknown song when she was thinking and the way she'd be there in the front row when Gryffidor were playing a match despite the weather cheering her house team along. Fred always found himself feeling a little satisfied when he saw her at the matches and did find it increased his performance slightly. He found it all so adorable and couldn't help himself when it came to staring at her. His stomach would twist in knots if she said hello to him and he would go weak at the knees if she ever gave him a smile from across the common room, luckily he was normally sitting down when that happened otherwise there was strong chance he'd fall over.

People, mainly George and Lee would tease him about it so much, laughing at him when they caught him open mouth staring at her, or when he made a lame excuse to go over and talk to her but it neither put him off course or made him think twice about asking her, although the more he did, and the more she had said no, the more he had trained himself not to get too excited that she might turn around and say yes.

But the Yull Ball was a different matter. She was really the only girl he had even thought about going with, no one else even crossed his mind when it was announced the school would host the event. He knew she didn't have a date, thanks to Hermione being his super sluth and for some reason he believed Megan might just say yes, he thought maybe as it was a special occassion she might for one night give in to his advances and agree to go with him but once again she turned him down. She genuinly looked sorry about saying no, something she often did when Fred has asked her the same question over and over, and she apologiesed profusely but it still didn't stop the ball of insanity welling up inside him. He just wasn't sure what he was doing wrong, what was so bad about him that she couldn't say yes. Okay he was little mean to people but he wasn't as bad as some people in the school but maybe Megan liked her men to be nice people without one mallicious bone in their body.

So many things remainded a mystery to him where she was concerned, some simple things like her favourite colour and some more complexed things like what she aspired to be. His heart was broken time after time, with each 'no' he could feel it brake that little bit more, and when he saw her talking to other guys the green eyed monster would rear it's ugly head causing him to become consumed with extremely jealous.

Two days after he had asked her to the ball Fred recieved the biggest heart brake of them all. He was sitting in the Great Hall eating his dinner with George, Ron, Harry and Hermione. He loved today's choice of food, Sausage and mash, his favourite and he had tucked in straight away but he was instantly put off his food when he looked over in Megan's direction. She was sat about four seats down from Fred and he could just make out her conversation. She was talking to a Hufflepuff seventh year boy by the name of Harrison Wyatt. He played Goalkeeper for Hufflepuff and was considered a school hearthrobe of sorts. Fred didn't understand why, his forehead and chin were too big for his face. Still Megan seemed to be, dare he think it...flirting with him. Fred's heart plummeted to the pit of his stomach and he felt the colour drain from his face. He knew what was coming before it actually did and his chest felt painful as he heard the words come.

" So do you want to come to the Ball with me then?" Harrison asked.

" Yes, that would be lovely." replied Megan.

Fred couldn't bring himself to look over at her because he knew in his heart that what he had just heard was real, not one of his recurring nightmares. Megan didn't like him. Compared to Harrison he looked like nothing. He couldn't help but compare himself trying to work out what he had over him. Sure he had bigger mucsels but Fred could work on that, and okay he was abit more on Megan's intellectual wave lenght but again with some studying he could work on it. And there was no denying that Harrison didn't feel the need to make jokes all the time to try and impress girls, he seemed to have some form of natural wit about him, Fred relied on being funny because without it he didn't have much else. He'd do anything if it meant he could be with Megan but as he replayed the scene in his head he was overwashed with sadness as he realised that the truth was Megan had turned him down, endlessly despite everything he had tried. A voice reached him from the distance land of reality.

" Fred." called Hermione. He blinked realising that everyone around him was staring at him. Hermione, who was sat opposite him was looking at him concerned.

" Sorry mate." said George clapping him on the back, " but no reason to dwell, how about asking Angelina to the Ball, I heard from Alicia that's she's been waiting for you to ask her." he suggested.

Fred simply shrugged. He was hardly in the mood to talk to anyone and spent the rest of dinner pushing food mindlessly around his full plate. All he could think about were the few times when he thought maybe Megan felt something back, they were rare and few between but occassionally he got the feeling she did have something there. Before he knew what had happened he was back in the common room. He was sat near the fire whilst Megan had taken her usual spot to do her homework. She caught Fred's eye and gave him a small gental smile that melted his heart. He tried to smile back but could feel the forcedness behind it. And then, as though there was no connection between his mouth and brain, he heared himself ask Angelina to the ball in a rather cocky manor. She accepted his invitation which felt wierd, someone actually saying yes. He side glanced at Megan. She hadn't moved or looked up but Fred was sure he could see a small hint of disappointment in her face.

People generally drifted out of the common room off to bed until only Megan, Fred and and few first years were left. The first years were busy playing wizard chess so Fred decided to go and speak to Megan. She was pouring over several books. She was fifth year and was preparing to take her O.W.L.S later in the year. As he walked closer, Fred heard her muttering things under her breath.

" Hey, mind if I sit here?" he asked pointing at the chair next to her. She looked up and gave him a small but tired smile.

" Sure." she uttered returning to her book.

" Hard essay?" he asked looking at the different books.

" The hardest...McGonagall gave me some extra work as I'm a bit ahead of the class, she wanted to try me out with some N.E.W.T work." explained Megan not looking up from her book.

" Wow, advanced."

" Yeah just a little...look Fred, I'm sorry to be rude but did you need to talk to me, it's just I promised McGonagall I'd get this to her by Friday." she pointed out.

Fred felt extremely dumb at that point in time. He actually didn't have anything to say to her but had just wanted to be close to her. Still before he could stop himself the words came out.

" So your going to the ball with Harrison Wyatt!" he said trying not to sound too bitter. Megan paused, she stopped writing, her eyes taking an extended blink.

" Well...yes...I am." she stuttered putting her quill down in front of her.

" Can I ask why him?" asked Fred. Megan was giving him a sad smile.

" Harrison and I have a lot in common, besides he asked me a few weeks ago, and I told him I'd think about it." she finished looking down at the table.

" Okay...night Megan." said Fred starting to get up.

Megan lent forward to grab his hand. He turned back to look at her. Her touch was soft and inviting and sent electric pulses through him like lightening. It was the first time they'd ever had any physical contact, and Fred could feel the warm sensation rising inside him. He sat back down, her hands still holding his.

" I am sorry." she said looking him in the eyes. He couldn't look straight back into the brown eyes which he often dreamed about.

" It's alright...I'd rather you went with someone who you could have a good time with." he managed to get out despite his insides screaming at him to ask her once more.

Again he rose from his chair but this time Megan rose with him, still holding onto his hand. She walked in front of him, her eyes boring into him so much so he buckled and looked right back. Her eyes were the most beautifal things in the world and they told stories of their own.

" Thank you Fred." she whispered before leaning up and kissing him gentally on the cheek.

Her skin was soft, her lips warm. What he would have done to turn his head so her mouth caught his but he stopped himself not wanting to freak her out. She lingered slightly before pulling him into a soft hug. Fred's lips were level with her forehead and he could smell her hair as he lent into hug her back. Finally she pulled away, distangling her hands from his, her palms slightly sweaty. She gave him another heart melting smile before packing her things up and wishing him goodnight. Fred stood listening to her ascending steps on the stairs before collapsing back into his chair. His heart was racing slightly, his pulse beating hard through his viens. He wasn't too sure of what had just happened, his hand tracked to the spot where Megan's lips had been pressed not five minutes ago. He knew it was just Megan's way of saying sorry to him but he couldn't help but feel a tiny spark of hope spring up inside him, and do the conga. For now it would have to do, and as Fred laid back on his bed closing his eyes, the vision of Megan walking down the aisle to him, in a dress so white it made her more beautifal, once more filled the darkness.