Never Leave



Author: Casandra
Email: [email protected] I know, my email addy is really cheesy, I was going thru one of my Roswell phases at the time LOL
Disclaimer: Do we really even need this anymore considering what happened back in May. Ok, just to be on the safe side. I of course own nothing having to do with Popular. It belongs solely to its respective owners, yada yada yada
Rating: Well it gets rather angsty, so for subject matter I'll say a very strong PG-13. But think more along the lines of PG-15 or 16 just in case. Just be forwarned..
Pairing: Sam/Brooke. Come on, is there really any other? Ok, yes I know, I know there is, just not in my litle fanfic realm, hehe.
Summary: Well it's Post series finale. Oh I hate writing that, grr. What can I say, I'm not too original. Actually i put what I hope is a little bit of a differet spin on soem of the other ideas that 'Promblems' sparked. hehe, Just read it already!
Distribution: Sure, I'd love for anyone to have it. Just please let me know where it is so I shamelessly brag that someone posted my fic :)
Feedback: Does begging work for you? Cause I'll gladly get down on my hands and knees if thats what it takes. Ok, I'm pathetic, I know, but what can I say, I'm a sucker for feedback.
Author's Note: Well I know your probably getting sick of me already. Well this is my first try at slash fic, in fact I'm really rather new to the world of slash. But I felt so inspired by all the other great Sam/Brooke authors out there that I just had have a go at it. Fair warning, this is rather angsty. I have two different endings I wrote. So let me know which one you liked better. I can't seem to bring myself to try writing some smut yet, so you won't find any of that in here. Although another warning for you. It's beyond mushy in places, in fact its probably completely out of character, but I just can't seem to write anything but pure sap. Ok, well I'm sure you're sick of hearing bable on and on so.......

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Thoughts are in [ ]

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Sam's POV


If someone would have told Sam a year ago that she would be fighting with Brooke over Harrison, she would have thought they belonged in a padded cell. But over the course of said year alot had changed. [And as much as I hate to admit it, they changed for the better]

Harrison had gotten leukemia, She and Brooke were getting along much better now, which had in turn brought their two divided groups into a somewhat uncomfortable single unit. Brooke also had a relapse into her eating disorder after the whole class president debacle. [And did I even visit her!] Sam had torn herself up over that for the past 6 months now. She wanted to visit her, she really did. But everytime she thought about weak and scared Brooke had to be it broke her heart. And she was afraid that if she went and saw her so vulnerable, that all her hidden and most certainly unrequited feelings for the cheerleader would most certainly just come bounding right out of her mouth. That secret was the biggest thing that had happened to her over the past year. She had fallen head over heels, desperately in love with Brooke McQueen. [Who am I kidding? I think I've loved her my whole life, it certainly feels like it.] That thought petrified and excited Sam all at the same time.

Ever since she could remember her and Brooke had been at each other's throats. They never got along, even back in grade school. But there was always something that fascinated Sam about the tall blonde. When Harrison had developed his not-so-secret crush on Brooke, Sam was livid. At the time she figured it was because she felt betrayed by Harrison. Afterall, this was Brooke McQueen, her mortal enemy. But in the past year, Sam had come to realize something. [I wasn't angry, I was jealous] When the thought first occured to her she thought she had feelings for Harrison.Then Brooke happened to walk into the kitchen as she was deating her thoughts. Sam knew without a doubt in that moment that Brooke glided into the room that it wasn't Harrison she had feelings for, it was harrison she was jealous of. Surprisingly the thought didn't freak her out the way she thouht it probably should. The fact that she was gay wasn't that scary, it was just a fact. And to Sam, it wasn't the most important facrtor in the equation. She had fallen in love with Brooke, that was the mind grippingly frightening thing. And she knew without question that Brooke did not feel the same way.

So she tried to supress it, figuring if she tried to forget about her feelings that they would all jsut magically disappear. But then the whole Harrison fiasco started and suddenly it felt liek they were in grade school again. When Harrison asked Brooke out it had felt like someone punched Sam in the stomach. the feelings she had tried so deperately to supress blew up to the surface. When Brooke had asked her permission to go out with Harrison she had almost let it slip. Especiallya fter Brooke grabbed her and hugged her. [You're just a big ole chicken Sammy]

Of course then came Harrison's death bed email declaration. He was in love with her, something that sent Sam through a huge double back loop. She knew she couldn't date him. it wouldn't be fair to her, to Harrison and most certainly not Brooke. She couldn't do it, if just for the fact that she would not hurt Brooke like that. So she took the coward's way out, she used George as an exscuse. [There's another mess you made Sam] Of course the George thing was just another way of trying to surpress her feelings for Brooke. It had been a welcome distraction. and she genuinely liked George. She even went as far as to try and sleep with him, subconsiously hoping it would be just the thing to solve her "I'm desperately in love with my soon-to-be step sister" problem. Of course things don't work like that and she realized it just in time.

So she went back to her normal life again. [Normal? huh, not even remotely close!] Loving Brooke, but never being able to show it. Trying to surpress her feelings by being with George. It was becoming old hat to her now and she was miserable. It was a miselrable exististence, but it was the way things had to be.

But then the unthinkable happened, Harrison and Brooke slept together, Harrison had lost his virginity to the woman she loved. Sam had felt like someone had kicker her in the chest. [Kicked? More like shot me!] The way Harrison looked so guilty made her want to scream. he had no idea how much he had betrayed her, in so very many ways. The tears she cried that day would forever be stained on her cheeks. She knew in that moment that she would enver have Brooke. She knew she could never return her feelings. She felt her heart shatter into a million and one pieces when Brooke told her, in a voice laces with guilt and regret, that she was sorry.

After that awful night, Sam did the only thing she knew how to do with Brooke. Pretend. They had once again come full circle. Brooke and Sam competeing for Harrison, Sam secretly pining away, but putting on a good show. And that's what had lead her here, to this exact moment. She sat next to Brooke [God she looks beautiful!] Harrison sitting across for them, THEIR prom date. They had decided earlier that they had to make him choose, that it wasn't fair to any of them to go on like this. Sam knew either way he picked, that everything was about to change. If Harrison chose Brooke it would devastate her. [Devastate doesn't seem to be a strong enough word] But if he chose her it would crush Brooke and that thought alone was enought to break Sam's heart. [There is no middle ground here, I'll be destroyed either way!] Sam tried to prepare herself as harrison began to speak.

"Somebody's going to get hurt, and I hate that,"

Sam looked at Brooke and took a deep breathe.

"As much as I care about you Sam, I have to choose Brooke,"

There, it was done, he had chosen, and it was devastating. Before Sam could even gauge Brooke's reaction, she bolted out of her seat and took off towards the exit. sam followed her, leaving a bewildered and slightly pained Harrison sitting at the table. Sam caught up to Brooke just as she was heading outside.

"Brooke wait!"

"This isn't what I wanted," Brooke replied, grasping her hand briefly as she moved toward the street. [Huh? Why didn't she want this? She won. I don't get it!]

"This isn't what I wanted either Brooke. Just stop!" Sam hadn't meant for her voice to show her emotions, but they somehow seemed to be controlling her at the moment. Brooke continued out onto the street, oblivious to the oncoming headlights. Sam started after her again only to be paralyzed by the scene that was developing in front of her. There was no doubt in her mind that Brooke would be hit.

Sam broke free of her paralysis ans sprinted towards Brooke. In that one fleeting, heart stopping moment she knew that she would gladly give her own life if it meant Brooke could take even one more breath. Brooke let out a spine tingling scream jsut as Sam reached her. She knew there was no way they could get out of the way in time. So she did the only thing she could do, she put herself in between Brooke and the car.

TBC. Don't you jsut love how I leave you hanging :) Next part will be Brooke's POV
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