Silvered By the Moon

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Burst Angel, the characters, the setting or dialogue present in the series.

Warning: Contains yuri/femslash/lesbian concepts, some explicit. Please stop here if you do not wish to read.

Pairings: Meg/Jo and Yoko/Meg. Takes place during episode five, at the Saint Luciana Academy for girls.

The moonlight poured in through the tall windows of Meg's dormitory, falling in an uncomfortably bright rectangle on her bed. The redhead sighed deeply, shifting onto her side for what felt like the tenth time in the past hour since curfew and wrapped the thin, woollen blanket about her more tightly. Meg shivered, squeezing her eyes shut and burying her face into her pillow. If she had have know it was this cold, she would have brought more than a nightshirt!

She grunted, turning over and staring at the roof. Last night it was scorching, tonight it was freezing…

This whole place is just whacked out. I mean, seriously.

Meg frowned before turning onto her side, pulling her blankets closer. She wondered what Jo would say of her disastrous meeting with the Ishtar club today – probably call her an idiot. Not that it wasn't deserved, Meg knew she could be a klutz and a fool at the best of times. She just… tended to act before she thought about it…

She sighed.

"I totally blew it today…" Shifting on the hard mattress, Meg reached down a pulled out that day's one saving grace. A chocolate bar, one that she had smuggled from the Ishtar meeting room before she had been forcibly removed by her clumsiness.

"But I got candy so big deal!" It was easier to put the best possible face on what she'd done. Far easier than imagining what Jo would say. She hated to disappoint Jo… Jo who looked out for her, Jo who did her damn best by her every damn day. Jo with the silver hair and fiery eyes, Jo who was gentle and kind. Meg's heart softened. Jo, who didn't even know...

She wanted to tell her. She'd wanted to for so long. There was never an opportunity – not since they'd moved in with Sei and Amy. By the time she had realized that she loved Jo as more than her friend, it had been too late and they had no privacy.

What's the point in her knowing if we can't do anything about it?

"Meg?" a soft voice came from an unknown, dark crevice in her room. Meg's eyes widened and she tried to scramble up, getting herself tangled in the blankets and floundering around like a fish out of water. Meg swore she heard a slight giggle as she finally sat bolt upright, her blue eyes scanning the room fitfully for the speaker. Who had gotten into her room without her knowing? How long had they been there? Why were they there?!

"Who's there?!" Meg demanded tightly, her fists clenching by her sides. If this was a rapist axe-murderer she was going to go down fighting, so help her –

From behind the potted plant in the corner of Meg's dorm a slight, pale figure rose to her feet – thankfully lacking the axe Meg had feared. Then the redhead frowned. It was the girl – Yoko, her name was – who had tried to jump off the roof not last night. Had Meg not saved her, she'd have been found dead on the ground that morning. But when she had tried to find out how Yoko was that day, the light blue-haired girl had brushed her off angrily.

What confused Meg was that the same girl was now in her dorm room.

Lacking anything else to say, Meg stuttered out, "It's… you?"

Yoko Ketsu inclined her head slightly in acknowledgment.

"I'm sorry about earlier today," she told the other girl in a soft voice. Her eyes were shadowed and troubled. Unlike Meg, Yoko obviously knew the weather trends of the Academy. She was dressed in blue pyjamas, looking as warm as Meg was cold. She tried not to envy her…

"So you do remember what happened last night." Meg felt relief wash through her. So she wasn't crazy. Or dreaming. Or simply just hallucinating like that girl Bai-Lan was investigating…

Yoko knelt down again, this time plainly visible in the moonlight. Her hair was washed a pale silver… Meg blinked fitfully.

"Kinda. But I'm still so confused, my memory of last night is really fuzzy. I do remember one thing, though." Yoko's eyes fixed on Meg's own. They were anxious, worried. They seemed to hold a lot of pain. "You tried to help me, but I was just a burden to you."

Meg watched her late-night visitor blink back tears.

Oh geeze, don't cry! She moved over, closer to Yoko, kneeling with her on the cold, hard floorboards.

"It's ok. If something like that happened to me, I'd probably be a little wigged out too." When her lame joke did not lighten the mood, Meg continued unsteadily. "But I am concerned. What made you try to commit suicide?"

The other girl's eyes widened at the directness of Meg's question and she looked away. Perhaps she was trying to save face for Meg. Perhaps she simply found it too hard to deal with.

"Well I…" The blue-haired girl faltered and rocked back on her heels.

Meg sighed and shifted position, crossing her legs beneath her. Man this floor was icy…

"It's okay if you don't feel like talking, I understand." She paused, crossing her arms over her chest and unconsciously imitating Sei's Lecture Pose. "However…"

Yoko flinched and turned back to Meg, lowering her eyes. It was almost as if she knew what was coming, but knew better than to turn away again.

"We were all put on this Earth to enjoy life." The blue-eyed exchange student told her severely, trying to stay as calm and deliberate as possible. "Suicide will never solve anything. You really think things will be better if you die?"

Meg tried not to falter as Yoko's brown eyes began to gleam with unshed tears. Instead, she ploughed onwards, squinting an eye at the other student.

"Do you know what happens when you jump off a building like that?" Here was the deal clincher, Meg knew. She pointed towards her own head before launching into graphic detail. "Your head bursts open and your brains splatter all over the place like bad Italian food!"

Yoko's horrified look certainly justified the excruciating detail. Maybe now she'd consider suicide a bad idea…

In spite of herself, Meg's heart softened, and she decided to continue – albeit more gently this time. "You don't want to end up like that… Suicide is just running away from your problems. You just end up dead."

Yoko began to stammer, shame forcing a blush onto her pale cheeks. Meg froze – the silver light was playing with her mind. It was Yoko sitting across from her, blushing prettily, not Jo… She forced herself to veer away from that topic.

"Your only real option is to suck it up and get on with your life." Yoko… perhaps it was the short hair and light colour, but somehow when Meg looked at her, she saw Jo. She stared out the window instead. "I might not be as proper and refined as you guys, but I do have friends."

The silver moon stared down at her – as silver as Jo's hair, and for a second Meg imagined that the wind ruffling her coat and whipping back the scarf Meg herself had given the gunner shortly after they had first met.

"I have friends who helped me learn that fact the hard way."

When Meg finally looked back, Yoko was smiling at her. It was a light smile, one that seemed to contrast with the deep and dark circles beneath her eyes.

"You must love your friends very much, Meg." Yoko's voice was still very quiet, but there seemed to be a little more strength to it. Meg smiled back at her.

"Well, yeah! I'd do anything for my friends! Anything at all!" Meg declared, only remembering afterwards that it was far past curfew and that she had to keep her voice down. She ducked her head sheepishly, and Yoko giggled quietly.

"You're very funny, Meg." The blue-haired girl covered her mouth to stifle her laughter. "I'm sorry."

Meg relaxed. Perhaps this girl was different from the others – she didn't seem nearly as snooty or up herself. She seemed… nice.

"Hey Meg… can I stay here? Just for tonight?"

The redhead jumped, the question catching her completely off guard. She scratched the back of her head sheepishly before nodding. "Uh, sure! Anything for a friend!"

Yoko smiled again. "Thankyou, Meg. It just gets so lonely in my room…"

Meg felt warmth flush her cheeks. "Well, I'm not the best company, but I'll do! If you can put up with my snoring, that is!" she let herself elbow Yoko in the side, and to her surprise, Yoko laughed with her.

Maybe, if Jo was a little like this…

"You can take the bed then, and I'll –"

Yoko looked up in alarm. "No, I couldn't take your bed, Meg…"

Meg scratched the back of her head again, trying to think things through before she blurted and accidentally offended the other girl. She didn't want Yoko to think she was coming on to her. "Well, unless you want the floor – and it's kinda freezing down here – then I'm going to have to take it!"

Yoko looked down, fiddling with the hem of her pyjama top. "Then perhaps… we could share?"

Meg looked at her blankly. "You mean the bed?"

Duh Meg, what else would she mean? Her lunch? Her study notes? Ugh!

She slapped herself on the forehead, forcing a faked smile on her face. "Uh, of course! Sorry, just had the typical Meg-moment…"

A 'Meg-moment' was a pet phrase of Amy's – generally applied when Meg did or said something entirely stupid.

Yoko laughed quietly as she climbed gracefully to her feet. "I see."

Meg, however, wasn't nearly so graceful. She hauled herself unsteadily to her feet – not helped by the fact that her leg had gone to sleep – and clambered onto the hard mattress, scooting over to the far edge so that Yoko had plenty of room. The schoolgirl sat on the edge of the bed, her short hair silvered, and suddenly it was Jo who looked down at her, blushing. Meg blinked forcefully, trying to separate reality from her own longing and barely succeeding. When she opened her eyes, Yoko was staring at her in confusion.

"Is there something the matter, Meg?" She was so close the girl's face seemed to take up Meg's whole vision. Flustered, the redhead looked away, praying to whatever god was listening that she wasn't blushing.

Finally, she sighed out, "Just tired I guess."

She watched Yoko digest this silently, her brown eyes going slightly distant as she processed the thought. Meg waited with baited breath. When Yoko nodded, she felt herself relax once more. So Yoko did not pick up on the moment of weakness Meg had had. Yoko lay down, her head hitting the pillow with a soft –thwump-, and suddenly Meg could feel the other girl's body heat spreading through the bed as she pulled the thin woollen blankets up to her chin.

Yoko's face tilted towards Meg's, brown eyes fixing on blue. The mercenary's breath caught in her throat as Yoko's lips parted, only inches from her own.

"Thankyou for your help…" Yoko trailed off, her eyes seeming to go very far away before they refocused on Meg's face. "I think it's really good that I got to meet you, Meg. I've never had anybody really talk to me like that before."

Meg's tongue felt stuck to the roof of her mouth as Yoko's warm body felt so much closer, the smell of jasmine flowers and vanilla drifting up to fill her nose and her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut momentarily; she was getting too hot. Yoko's hair was silver, her eyes almost red from the moonlight. The scent of flowers was intoxicating…

The blue haired girl seemed to press even closer. "Can I… see your hand?"

Meg swallowed, staring at Yoko in confusion as she allowed Yoko access to her hand. She could swear the other girl was pressed right up against her now, soft, pale skin against her own - Yoko stared at her hand for a moment, before lacing their fingers together. Meg's face felt on fire as the schoolgirl pressed the redhead's hand to her cheek.

Yoko's eyes were calm and quiet as she held onto Meg's hand tighter. "It's really warm."

There was a brief moment of stillness as Yoko's eyes slipped shut – Meg felt a small stab of… was it relief? Then the schoolgirl's eyes opened, the calmness replaced by a look of intensity and heat.

Once again,she looked identical to Jo… Meg felt a powerful warmth surge though her as Yoko's eyes met her own again and soft lips brushed her fingertips in a fleeting kiss. Meg nearly groaned. She looked far too much like Jo, she was smiling at her, her face edging so close, soft breasts pressing into Meg's arm…

Jo… Meg's mind sighed as Yoko's lips touched her own – a quivering, uncertain kiss. Meg's head spun in a dizzy swirl of emotion.

How did she know? Meg felt Yoko's breath, fresh with the scent of toothpaste, on her lips again, and a shiver went through her body again. How did she know I want this, when Jo can't see it?

Yoko's hand slipped from Meg's as the blue-haired girl pushed herself up, placing her knees either side of Meg's waist and straddling her hips. Meg stared up at her, neither moving nor resisting. The moonlight fell thickly on Yoko's body, accentuating the curves of her hips and the swell of her breasts – a tremor ran through Meg again as the silver hair caught her eyes again.

It would be so easy to pretend this girl was Jo. So easy to let the moonlight take hold and imagine she was kissing the woman of her dreams, running her hands over old scars, feeling Jo's calloused hands wandering over her flesh…

Meg groaned and dragged Yoko down by the front of her shirt, mashing her own lips against the schoolgirl's with a hunger she barely believed herself. Yoko melted against her, her long-fingered hands cupping the sides of her face, almost pulling Meg into the kiss. All Meg could see was silver hair as a soft, wet tongue wound between her lips. Meg opened her mouth to the kiss, running her fingers through the feathery, silver hair.

Meg's eyes sagged shut as Yoko's fingers worked their way down her body, swerving reluctantly around her breasts and hiking her nightshirt up around her waist. The cold air was a shock to her skin, and the redhead gasped in spite of herself. Yoko pulled her mouth back from Meg's, kissing around her jaw before whispering hotly,

"Shhhh…" Yoko's fingers splayed on Meg's stomach and began to stroke quickly, rubbing away the gooseflesh with a delicious friction that had heat soaking every pore of Meg's body. The redhead sighed deeply, weaving her fingers more deeply into Yoko's moon-whitened hair, mouthing her name silently, longingly. Yoko caught her moving lips with her own again, kissing her softly as the hand inched slowly higher, higher, until finally the very tips of her fingers grazed the underside of Meg's breasts.

Meg froze, her eyes snapping open. How far did Yoko intend to go? Really?

She took a shaky breath as Yoko pulled back, frowning.

"I've never… done this before," she admitted quietly. Only in her dreams had she ever made love to another female… it had always been Jo, and she'd certainly never taken a more submissive role in what she imagined…

Yoko smiled. "And you think I have?" The blue-haired girl's hand slipped higher again, cupping Meg's full, left breast. Meg shifted uncertainly.

"Y-yeah, I'm beginning to get that… impression," Meg breathed out shakily. "All girls school, nothing but study to entertain you…" She wondered why she hadn't caught on earlier. Angelique had looked awful cosy in her dorm with her cronies – she ran her fingers through the other girl's light hair, feeling her breath shorten into a heavy pant, rocking slightly as heat pooled in her abdomen. Yoko slipped her remaining hand beneath the hem of Meg's shirt and lifted the fabric high above her head and off, only stopping her attentions for a moment.

Meg's breath hissed out between her teeth. Yoko's mouth lowered once again onto Meg's breast, tongue swirling, invading and taunting the redhead until she realized she was moaning quietly, pathetically – cowed and submissive. Lips grazed down and across her breast, the girl's hot breath warning Meg of what was coming long before Yoko's hot mouth fastened onto her other breast, tonguing and licking in agonizing pleasure.

Jo… if only it were Jo…

Meg squeezed her eyes shut and pushed Yoko away violently, guilt making her feel sick to her stomach. Yoko's brown eyes were clouded with confusion, and Meg forced herself to crawl away a couple of feet.

"I-I'm sorry, Yoko. I really… I can't…" Meg stared at Yoko, begging her to understand with her eyes. The pale haired girl's eyes quickly averted, a blush suffusing her cheeks.

"I… see." Yoko's voice trembled slightly, and the mercenary watched wordlessly as the other girl rose – surprisingly gracefully – to her feet. The blue-haired student paused by Meg's door, her hands slowly straying towards the brass doorknob. She didn't look back at Meg.

"Good night, Meg."

The door clicked shut, cutting off any half-hearted reply Meg tried to make.

Damn it, Jo… Meg buried her face in her hands as her watched beeped at her. If not for you, I would have gotten laid…

She sighed. Time to go to the roof of the dorms – they would be waiting for her call any time now.

If she had done the right thing, why did Meg feel so rotten about it? She slowly made her way to the roof, her mind filled with thoughts about the silver of the moon.

A/N: Ended here to keep it T rated, and in canon with the show.