Title;; For Them
Author;; Moosxaxlot
Disclaimer;; No matter how many times I ask Santa, Harry Potter is still not mine.
Summery;; Just another one shot at Remus' feelings after he's lost his three best mates.
It all felt like such a dream. The way everything had unfolded in his life. It all seemed to have happened so slowly at first until everything exploded right before his eyes. He'd thought he was alone. So completely and terribly alone. He'd been told that Sirius Black had betrayed James and Lily Potter to Voldemort. That he had killed their friend Peter Pettigrew in the process. And with his three best friends all taken from him, Remus Lupin had found himself feeling empty. A mere shell of everything his friends had helped him become.
He'd been to the trial, if it could be called such. His ears listening to the cries and pleas of innocence to leave his former best mate's lips as he was sentenced to Azkaban. And he'd agreed full heartedly. His former best mate had killed two of his very best friends. Of their very best friends. And it hurt. Hurt more than anything as Remus realized he didn't believe Sirius' innocence. That he was so very willing to just agree that the best friend that would die for any of the other Marauder's sake would go and kill two of them off.
As he sat by that tree he'd always used to hang out with the other Marauders beneath, the werewolf continued on his train of thought. He'd been devastated, depressed per say. And it had continued even as he struggled to find work, struggled to get through life as a hated beast with only his memories for company. And then he'd gotten a job at Hogwarts. This stupid school where everything in his life scrambled again and he questioned everything he'd ever thought about losing his best mates.
He'd seen the map he'd made with his friends in school. He'd seen Peter's name. He had been so shocked. So shocked that he'd almost believed the map a lier. But the map never lied. And then had come the night when he'd met Sirius in the shrieking shack with Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger. And he'd learned the truth. Peter had betrayed Lily and James. Sirius was innocent. Sirius was back. And he wasn't alone anymore because one of his best mates was with him again.
Even with Peter getting away that night, with the traitor running free once more, he'd been able to find just a little bit of peace. Just a little bit of happiness. He could trash Peter into the back of his mind as he'd done Sirius and he could let the Black be good in his mind once more. He could just... go on.
But then everything had changed again. Sirius had to go into hiding, he'd quit his job at Hogwarts. That wasn't the worse of it. In fact, neither had been extremely terrible except the fact that he now had even less money. But he could live with that. It was two years later that really damaged him though.
He lost Sirius in the battle at the Department of Mysteries. And he felt himself die just a little on the inside as he held Harry back from trying to save him. From losing himself in the process.
And now here he sat, his thoughts thinking more and more on a 'why me' basis as the objects of his misery danced before him in a memory of happier days. When the Marauders were but children and still carefree as ever while they teased one another in this very spot. A sigh left his lips as he finally stood, heading back toward the castle. He was here for a visit after all, not to feel sorry for himself. And no matter how much it hurt, no matter how hard it was, he had to keep going. Had to honor the sacrifices of Sirius and James, the innocence Peter had once held. But most of all, the way they had all given him the strength to use all his power to succeed.
Even if he was nothing more than a hated werewolf, he could keep going thanks to them. To their strength. And he guessed he was alright with that. As long as he kept himself strong. For them.
I hope your eyes didn't just bleed. Uhm... -offers tissue- If that didn't kill your brain, would you mind leaving me a review? It would make me oh so very happy.