A/N: Grr, this was supposed to be Ryo-chan's birthday fic! T.T The day I manage deadlines shall be the day Martians shall come eat us.

Ahaha, this was inspired by Nike's shirt. So should I say I don't own the quote? I own Fuji's shirt quote though. XD I had this idea ages ago, when my mother showed me the newspaper – a woman had sued Nike because she had bought the shirt, not knowing the sexual innuendo. And when she went to Europe all the guys were like, whistling at her and stuff. LOL.

This is rushed. And I didn't read it over that many times. T.T Oh well. Please enjoy.

Finally, some FujiRyo! Peverted, too. :D Somewhat. BWUAHAHAA. Oneshot! Merry Christmas everybody!

Summary: Fuji, being the sadist he is, decides to give Ryoma a very sexy birthday gift. It wasn't until later, after encountering two crazed, insane yaoi fangirls that Ryoma realized just how SEXY the gift was. FujiRyo, thrill pair. Oneshot, Ryoma birthday fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis. It belongs to Konomi Takeshi-sensei. 

Note: The author is writing this from her mental ward. She is currently suffering from mental issues. Please support her and show that you care by reviewing! Thank you!

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Fuji Syusuke couldn't help grinning widely as he folded his boyfriend's present into his bag. Of course he did not wrap it. Most people didn't even care what the wrapping paper looked like; they would just rip it apart and hurriedly look at the present within. The remaining percentage would probably gasp and admire the wonderfully festive wrapping paper for a few seconds or so, and then proceed to the vicious ripping and tearing part. Fuji preferred using newspapers or magazines to wrap presents, if really necessary. Wrapping paper were nice, yes – his current favourite that he saw in a shop window was a blue shiny one with a lot of fat bearded men (whom were probably supposed to be assumed as Santa) in tight red suits jumping around smiling like retarded idiots whilst dancing with brown red-nosed creatures that in no way resembled reindeers.

Yup, they were nice. But extremely non-environmentally friendly. The Earth was dying, for God's sake! And they were still using their wasted brains to design wrapping paper!

Let us stop for a moment of silence before this turns into a heated Global Warming lecture.

Fuji Syusuke grabbed his scarf, whispered a goodbye to his beloved cacti and hustled out the door, into the cold night winter air.

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Echizen Ryoma wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck, covering just slightly his mouth and nose too. It was freezing. He was tempted to scrunch up his nose, just to see if he could still feel it. He was a bit scared that the nerves would get disconnected and his nose would fall off or something, like that guy he saw on television. He brought up his gloved hands in front of his face and breathed softly into his palms, trying to get warmer that way.

Fuji was late! He'd been waiting here for more than ten minutes. That didn't sound very long, but it was extremely irritating standing in the middle of a busy road with snow falling all around you. Ryoma had to keep brushing snow off his hair every now and then to avoid being mistaken for a snowman. There were people around too, a lot of people. They were practically all in pairs, clinging onto each other, laughing, smiling, hugging, loving.

And Ryoma was scowling.

That wasn't the only reason why he felt he stood out either. He was alone, he wasn't very happy, and as if that wasn't enough, he – as previously mentioned – was frozen to the bones. Everyone else looked as warm as they could be.

How did he even get himself into such a situation? It was his birthday; he deserved to be back in his warm, warm room, underneath the warm, warm covers and snuggled up with warm, warm Karupin. He didn't even know why he agreed to come out to this ridiculous Christmas birthday party thing with the whole Seigaku team. Perhaps it was the way Fuji smiled so beautifully softly at him when Eiji suggested this.

Perhaps.

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Fuji watched, amused, as Ryoma scowled, scrunching up his cute little nose. He couldn't help letting out a small chuckle. Fuji was hiding behind a few somewhat large (in terms of body build) couples, watching Ryoma. He'd been here fifteen minutes ago. He wasn't one to be late. But when Ryoma had arrived looking all grouchy and adorable, he just couldn't resist hanging back and just studying him from afar. He couldn't wait to give him his present, and have him wear it to the party he would soon escort him to.

With his usual knowing smile in place, Fuji crept over to Ryoma and hugged him from behind.

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Ryoma was about to call Fuji on his cell phone when he felt a pair of slender yet strong arms wrap around his shoulders, pulling him backwards. He could feel it was Fuji as an amazing sense of warmth washed over him. For a split moment Ryoma just closed his eyes and leaned back onto Fuji's body, enjoying the tenderness and feeling of content that he gave him.

Then he was back to business.

'You're late,' Ryoma snapped, subconsciously adding a pout.

Fuji smiled and gave Ryoma a small peck on the nose, then a soft, chaste kiss on the lips. This action caused the latter person to blush furiously. Oh well. At least he got warmer that way. And the blood circulations would become more active too. His nose wouldn't fall off now.

'Here, your present. Happy birthday!' And with that Fuji pulled the folded garment out of his bag and thrust it into Ryoma's unsuspecting arms.

'Eh…? Ah, arigatou, Fuji-senpai.' Despite how close they were, Ryoma still referred to his older lover by such formality. He couldn't bring himself to call his senpai by his first name. It got him extremely embarrassed. And apparently Fuji thought it was cute, so it didn't matter.

'Wear it now, Ryo-chan!' Fuji laughed as Ryoma turned an even deeper shade of rouge. Well, at least someone wasn't embarrassed by using intimate first names.

Ryoma unfolded the…thing, and held it at arms-length. It was…pink. Pink, and very shiny and sparkly. It was probably knitted from glitter wool or something – a long sleeved sweatshirt that would definitely keep you warm.

'Don't you love the quote? I requested it personally. My sweater matches yours. They're so beautiful aren't they?' Fuji took off Ryoma's jacket, making the younger boy gasp as the cold air almost knocked his lungs out. He then immediately plopped the pink sweater over Ryoma's head.

Ryoma looked down and eyed the big black letters outlined with sparkling beads. He blinked. He liked that quote. It suited him perfectly. But…

'Why is it…pink?' Ryoma's pout was still evident, though his eyes were bright and happy. Just the mere presence of Fuji Syusuke calmed him and made him happy.

'Because real men wear pink and look stunning!' Fuji grinned happily.

Ryoma almost laughed, but settled with a tiny smile instead. 'Why isn't yours pink then?'

Fuji's eyes shot open for a second. 'Why, thank you, Ryo-chan. I didn't realize you thought I was so manly.' He chuckled. 'But I'm fine with white, really. We can't all be in the spotlight, and it's your birthday!'

Before Ryoma could protest or say that wasn't what he meant, Fuji took his hand gently and led them towards the center of the road, the center of the crowd, towards the place of the party.

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Ryoma had on an amused smile on his face when they finally arrived. For some reason, along the way almost everyone had been staring at them. Most people had giggled and smiled. Some random punk blokes had winked and whistled and cat-called and made rude gestures. Some old ladies out for some tea had smiled fondly – though a few had shaken their heads disapprovingly and went, 'Kids nowadays…'

The most terrifyingly haunting reactions though, came from two girls. Their conversation was as follows –

Random Scary Girl One: AHHH!!! It's shounen-ai! Shounen-ai! Aww how cute! EEEEE!!! - foams at mouth and faints-

Random Scary Girl Two: No, you retard! It's yaoi! YAOI!!! AHHH HOW BEAUTIFUL! MY EYES! AHHH I NEED SUNGLASSES! MY EYES CANNOT TAKE THE RADIANCE! -has a seizure, foams at mouth and passes out-

Ryoma did not understand the psychology of females nowadays. It was much easier going out with a boy. Why were they going all crazy over his new shirt? He liked it. It was very tennis-related. Maybe they were mentally ill patients who recently escaped from their wards. Ryoma silently wished they got well soon. Christmas should be a season where everyone was happy and safe.

'Ah, nice shirts boys. Very enticing,' said Inui. His glasses flashed.

'Nya, Ochibi! I didn't know you were so aggressive in these departments too! How kawaii!' Eiji jumped around and glomped Ryoma.

'Fuji…no doubt this is your work? Ryoma is younger than you, you know…' Oishi was smiling, but he was still somewhat worried. His motherly nature doesn't just go away that easily.

Tezuka didn't say anything. He merely smiled a small smile at their freshman's innocence. He still didn't know what was going on.

'Hah…hah? What's so…strange about these shirts?' Ryoma pulled his sweater straight, displaying with extreme clarity the words printed onto it.

I Like Being On Top.

After making sure everybody had seen it and when the sniggering quieted down slightly, Ryoma asked, 'There, what's so funny about that? I do like being on top. In tennis. Top of everyone. I want to be top of the world.'

He said it with such a serious face and determination in his eyes that everybody stopped for a small moment. Then they began laughing even more hysterically (everybody except the obvious stoic ones, of course).

Yes, his shirt would seem innocent enough to a very innocent person. But when put next to Fuji's shirt?

Sure. You're Too Short Though, So Push Harder

Ryoma still didn't know what was happening. So what? Fuji-senpai and the others often told him that he had to develop more of his strength, because virtually all of his opponents were bigger and taller than him. He had to swing and push and hit his racket harder. What was so amusing about that?

It wasn't until Inui whispered in Ryo-chan's ear that he finally understood the sexual implications. So being on top meant…and being too short meant…that!

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Later that night, Ryoma fumed at Fuji for practically ruining his birthday. He didn't even know why he agreed to spend the night at Fuji's place, given his anger.

'Ne, Ryo-chan. Gomen.' Fuji wrapped his arms around Ryoma once more and buried his face in the crook of the younger boy's neck.

Ryoma couldn't help smirking, but quickly hid it. 'That was mean though, Fuji-senpai! I've never even been on top. How can I like it?'

Fuji grinned wolfishly. 'Heh, so you want to try?' He turned Ryoma around and pressed their lips softly against each other. 'I'll let you try.' Fuji whispered against Ryoma's cheek.

'Heh? Ah, wait. That wasn't what I - Fuji-senpai, wait! WAIT! Ah!'

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A/N: Bwuahaha, very perverted. XD I was one of those Random Scary Girls. LMAO. By the way, for those who don't know (I think everyone should know though. LOL.), shounen-ai is plain boyxboy fluff, and yaoi contains…Uh, mature content. And some people say yaoi 'has no plot, no sense, no climax, no nothing, just plain sex.'

Haha, I don't know. Anyway. Merry Christmas, and happy belated birthday to Ryo-chan! Please review and make me happy. :D