A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay. I've had this chapter finished for several days now, but I haven't really had the time to sit down and post it. I hope you'll forgive me. Anyway, enjoy the chapter and please tell me what you think. Thanks so much!
Chapter Five:
Derek stood on the landing outside Penelope's door. He kept telling himself over and over that what he was doing was right, that he shouldn't back out, but every time he raised a hand to knock, he remembered the last thing she had said to him, and even worse the look she'd had in her eye when she said it. She'd told him to forget what had happened. He hadn't thought she'd meant it at first, but now, after hours of speculation, he was no longer sure.
That was besides the point, though, because no matter what she wanted, he would never forget what had happened between them. That was simply not an option that Derek was willing to consider. Not to mention he didn't think he would be able to live with himself if he were to wake up in the morning and fly clear across the country without at least attempting to fix whatever he had done to screw things up between them so badly.
Gathering himself, he took a deep breath and knocked softly on the door. He could hear the TV going from where he stood, and then Garcia groaning in annoyance. "Go away," she called, "I'm busy."
Derek could not help but smile at that. She could be truly adorable sometimes, whether she knew it or not.
"Garcia, open up," he called back. "It's Morgan." He silently cursed himself as soon as the words had left his lips. Now she definitely wouldn't be opening the door.
He waited hesitantly on the doorstep, listening raptly to the dialogue of the film within. The minutes ticked slowly by and he was just about to start pounding on the door in desperation when she shocked him by yanking it open.
She looked a great deal better than she had earlier that day, though she wore an old tank top and oversized sweatpants speckled with flecks of purple paint that looked suspiciously similar to that on her walls. Her face was no longer blotchy and her eyes weren't puffy. In fact there was a healthy glow to her face that he attributed to the feast of chocolate and wine he could see patiently awaiting her on her coffee table.
She stared at him without saying anything for what felt like hours before he finally thought it best to break the silence.
"We've got a case," he said lamely.
Penelope nodded. "JJ told me."
They stood in awkward silence and then suddenly Derek was pushing past her into her apartment. Penelope looked shocked but soon regained herself. "Derek, why are you here?"
He shrugged his shoulders anticlimactically. "I can't leave without knowing why you're so mad at me." He stepped closer to her and she felt herself fidgeting nervously. "What did I do wrong?"
Penelope bit her lip, cursing herself for ever opening the door. Once more, she was on the verge of tears, and all because she had opened that stupid door. "I don't want to do this right now," she whispered, not trusting her voice to carry the weight of the words.
Derek ran a hand over his head. "You didn't want to do this earlier either, Garcia, and I'm running out of options."
"Not now, Derek," she repeated.
"When, Garcia?" he asked her. "We slept together and that's not going to go away, no matter how long you spend trying to run away from it." His words came out more forcefully than he'd intended in his frustration, but Garcia seemed to take no notice.
"I'm not running away," she muttered defensively.
"You ran away last night and you're running away now."
"Please, let this go," she pleaded.
Derek growled in frustration. "I've already told you I can't do that, and I don't understand why you're so willing to yourself." He allowed himself a moment to calm down before continuing. "Please, talk to me, Penelope. Please just give me something to go on here."
Morgan placed a hand on her arm, but she shrugged out of his grasp. She could see the hurt in his eyes as she pulled away, and she was filled with a sudden sense regret for her actions. She watched as he stared at her and couldn't help feeling like everything she had done over the past twenty-four hours had been completely wrong. Derek soon regained himself, however, and Penelope was brought back from her reverie. He positioned himself firmly before her, cradling her face within his strong hands. He met her gaze, taking advantage of the confusion he found there, and his lips crashed into hers.
Penelope felt her defenses dropping as Derek's lips met hers and his hands slid down her back to encircle her waist. This was what she wanted. This was where she wanted to be. She was tired of fighting and over-thinking everything, and really she was starting to find that the results were much more gratifying when she didn't thing at all. Still, the distant, more lucid portion of her mind raged against her. What she was doing was wrong, and would most certainly cause nothing but grief in the very near future. She needed to put a stop to this before things got out of hand.
Her hands had been exploring his chest as he kissed her, of their own accord, no doubt, and she had been relishing in the feel of his well-defined musculature beneath her fingers. She now used their position as leverage as she gently shoved against Derek, freeing herself once more from his grasp.
"Please don't," she whispered brokenly.
Derek let himself be pushed away from her. He had expected as much. After everything that she had said, how could he not? But he still could not disguise the hurt that he felt as he watched Penelope bustling about the living room. She had begun collecting the chocolate wrappers that had been scattered about the coffee table as though nothing had happened. Her work allowed her to conveniently avoid Morgan's gaze until the last moment. When she did finally look up she was shocked to find that his countenance resembled that of a man absolutely defeated.
"I'm sorry," he stated plainly.
The simplicity of his statement caught her off guard, but she soon gathered herself and managed to reply. "You have nothing to be sorry for, hot stuff." She smiled weakly in an attempt to cheer him up. She hated seeing him looking so crushed. "I just need time to think about everything that's happened."
Derek nodded solemnly. The fact that she hadn't referred to him by his proper name as she had insisted on doing since the night before had not escaped his attention, but he could not bring himself to think anything of it. She still refused to talk to him, and he still had no idea why.
"I guess I'll see you when I get back then," he said.
Garcia nodded and he turned to leave.
"Derek," she called suddenly, and he froze, already halfway out the door. He turned to face her and she was suddenly overcome by a wave of emotions that she did not even know existed. She just stared at him for a moment, trusting her eyes to convey all that she was trying to tell him, and then she smiled in what she hoped was a warm manner. "Thank you."
Her words had the effect she had hoped for. She could see the change in Derek's expression as he stared at her. He went from downtrodden and defeated back to his usual playful and puckish in a matter of seconds. It seemed there was no limit as to what could be communicated in just a glance.
Derek smiled wholeheartedly at her, understanding her perfectly. "Any time, baby girl." He winked at her and closed the door behind him.