OK, so technically, in this one, Anakin's not Vader yet... and it's not chronological... but, it is purely stupid, so I thought it would fit. Enjoy!

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I can't believe this! I mean, I never really did understood the Council, but this is ridiculous!

Don't give me that bored look, you have to know this is crazy! Absolutely insane!

Oh, you're just gonna ignore me, huh? Not even look my direction? But I'm sure those are your orders. You're probably not supposed to talk to me, eh? And I'm sure you're a good, obedient Jedi Knight. But you know what? I can still talk to you, whether you answer or not. And you don't have much choice but to listen. Weird, isn't it, how I'm the one imprisoned, but you're a captive audience.

One moment I was sitting contentedly at my computer, and the next I'm here in a containment cell in the Jedi Temple. They've taken my lightsaber and utility belt, and even the Force from me. But you know that – I'm sure you can feel it, too. This room must have been designed to contain Sith Lords or something. I'm pretty sure they're putting something in my water, too – some drug that inhibits the Force. They sure do know how to punish – locking me up isn't enough, is it? They know how awful it is for a Jedi to be stripped of the Force. How can they inflict this kind of pain on me, even while they preach compassion? Jedi don't torture their prisoners – or at least, that's what they told me.

Then again, I'm sure they're pretty nervous about now. I suppose I would be, too, in their position. Finding a Sith living in the Temple, pretending to be a Jedi, has got to be every Jedi Master's nightmare.

The thing is, there's no Sith Lord living in the Temple. I've been wrongfully accused. That's right, I'm not a Sith Lord. Oh, I know you don't believe that – you take every thing the Masters say completely for granted, don't you? Just swallow it down, like a baby thrantcill being fed by its mother.

It's true, though. I'm not a Sith, and never have been. In fact, it wouldn't even be entirely accurate to say I've thought about becoming one. This is all really just a big misunderstanding!

I was just taking some down time in between my latest mission debriefing and my next assignment. So I'm sitting there, relaxing and messing around on the computer, and having a good time. Then Master comes walking in, and he asks what I'm doing. I saw no reason to hide what I was doing from Obi-Wan, so I told him: "I just turned to the Dark Side."

Well, he about had a heart attack! I've never seen him lose control so fast. It was absolutely hilarious at first. He started into one of his lectures, trying to get me to come back to the Light. At the time, I thought he was joking, so I said, "What's the matter with switching to the Dark Side, Obi-Wan? It's not that bad! Besides, I can always switch back!"

He turned really, really white – almost passed out, I think – then grabbed my arm and pretty much dragged me to the Council chamber, wailing all the way about how this wasn't some trivial matter, it was an absolute disaster. He kept shutting his eyes and shouting "What did I do wrong?" in this completely traumatized tone, and then scolding me about how I obviously didn't understand the importance of all this, and how I couldn't just change sides like changing clothes.

It all happened so fast, it kind of blurred together, and then I was standing in the middle of the Council chamber with twelve Jedi Masters staring at me with half-frightened, half-accusing eyes.

"Is it true, young Skywalker, that you have turned to the Dark Side?" asked Master Windu in his big booming voice.

He intimidates me a little bit, makes me feel really uncomfortable and a little shy. But I managed to answer "No" in a really small voice.

Obi-Wan stared at me. "You just told me that you did! Why would you – how could you even think about lying or joking about something like this?"

Just for the record, I don't lie, and especially not to my Master. But he seemed to forget that, so I reminded him. None of the Masters believed me, though – which really kind of stung. Master Windu demanded that I tell the absolute truth and asked again if I had turned to the Dark Side.

"No," I said again, then remembered what was causing all the confusion. "Okay, well, maybe sort of…"

I didn't get a chance to say another word. Obi-Wan collapsed on the floor, and a couple of Masters ran to try to revive him. I ran to help, too, but Master Windu reached out and grabbed me by the back of my tunic.

"Stay away from him, you've done enough damage already!" he shouted angrily. I thought Jedi weren't supposed to know anger, but… Anyway, he stripped off my belt and lightsaber and stuck me in this room that blocks the Force, and said they'd deal with me later. Yoda had followed him down the hall, and he peeked in and stared at me before Mace shut the door. He looked so incredibly sad it almost made me want to cry myself – I didn't, though. But I heard him say, "Terrible, this is, for him to have turned so young. Sad, it makes my heart. Only fifteen years old, and already – claimed him, the Dark Side has."

That was two weeks ago. I've been sitting here ever since, bored as a swoop mechanic at a Senate convention, waiting for them to decide what to do with me. Every four hours, they change the guards, and none of them talk to me, just like you aren't. I think they're all scared of me, just like you are. And, as I said, I'm sure you're not supposed to talk to me and are just doing your job.

After all this time, though, I wonder if they're ever going to get me out and if I'm ever going to get a chance to explain myself. But maybe you can help me. You and your buddy there – sorry, I don't know your names – are the first ones I've told this all to; before, I just couldn't deal with talking and not getting a response. But I'm getting desperate now. So, when your shift's up in a few hours, will you tell them what really happened?

Oh, did I forget to mention that? Sorry, I'm going a little crazy locked up in here; another week, and I'll be completely hawk-batty.

I'm not a Sith in real life, only on Jedi vs. Sith. I did turn to the Dark Side – on Facebook.