Discalimer: You know the drill. I own none of the characters and so forth!

Yoyager is being re-fit and the crew is scattered. Captain Janeway is invited to Commander Riker's Wedding. Will her choice of escort alter the course of their futures?

All he could think about was a shower. He was filthy and couldn't wait to feel the water wash away the grime of the day. His mind was still on the dig when he came home. Even though it was thrilling, he missed space. Maybe not so much space but being on Voyager. He had taken this 6-month assignment while the ship was being refitted. It was exciting to do some anthropological work once again but mostly he needed to get away. As he walked through his house memories of Voyager flooded through him. He missed every thing about it. Spending the entire day with students who were barely out of the academy was taking its toll on him. He missed adult conversation. He missed easy camaraderie he had on Voyager. He even missed the mess hall. But most of all he missed her.

Shaking his head he stripped his clothes and entered the bathroom. Looking in the mirror he recognized one thing the dig had done for him. He was as fit now as he was when he captained the Liberty. Standing under the steaming water he tried to force the tensions to leave his body but they never did. The ache was like a shadow that danced around his soul. He wore the agony like a scarlet letter.

One thing he did enjoy about being here was the privacy. He had finished his shower and wrapped a towel around his waist and headed to kitchen to eat. Once he was done he went to check his terminal in his living room. Starfleet had housed him in a beautiful old wooden house close enough to the dig for convenience but far enough for sanity. He took advantage of some of the perks that he received from being a hero just returned from the Delta Quadrant. It beat the hell out of eating hand to mouth like his early Maquis days. He wanted to curse as he looked at his computer screen. Thirty-two messages. Spirits this is ridiculous. After fourteen hours in the Arizona sun he did not have the patience to speak with anyone much less anyone from Starfleet.

He scrolled down his message to see who wanted him. About half way down his heart stopped. The room became silent. The temperature rose, as the air became hot. His breath trapped in his lungs. He looked again, thinking his eyes were deceiving him. There it was: return destination - Indiana. He only knew one person in Indiana. He ran! He went to his dresser to get some clothes. He knew he was a coward. He wondered what he would do when he returned to his terminal. Would he hope that the message was gone or pray that it was real. As he dressed his thoughts were in chaos. What could she be contacting him for? Maybe it wasn't her. Maybe she was sick and her family was letting him know. He immediately realized the paranoia for what it was. If something had happened to her Tom would have contacted him. Why now? They said their good-byes four months ago. He closed his eyes trying to forget the memory but it only brought it back full force.

She had called him to her ready room to finalize all ship's business before they disembarked in the morning. He remained on the couch while she sat at her desk. Tears of regret were hiding behind his eyes as he looked at her. Everyone else was at the party saying good-bye. Neither one of them ever thought it would come to this. They both believed that they would get home but good-byes were never in the plan.

She stood stoically behind her desk trying desperately to not let the emotions of her heart show on her face.

"Commander," she didn't dare use his name or it would be her undoing, "I wanted to say good-bye. I wanted you to know how much I appreciate every thing you have done for this crew and this ship over the last seven years." What he had done for her remained unspoken. She softened a little as she added, "if I could promote you I would." She cleared her throat and continued. "Starfleet has informed me that Voyager will be out of commission for sixth months for re-fitting. I have asked that any crew who wishes to remain assigned to this ship be given first priority. I don't know who will accept. I think Tom and B'Elanna will stay but I am not so sure about Harry." Oh God she thought I am rambling. She could not look at him. If he rejected this offer she was afraid that all the pain she was feeling would erupt. She looked at the floor once again. "It is my hope that once we are re-fitted and sent on a mission that you will still be my first officer." She didn't add that she couldn't bear to think of a day on the ship without him. She could not stand to see anyone else sitting in his chair. Those were her private thoughts. She could not put that burden on him; not after all she had put him through for seven years.

He listened to everything she had told him, stunned at the formality of her tone. This is what they were reduced to after all this time. No fond memories, no smiles and certainly no tears. No, never tears. The silence hung in the air. He wanted desperately to cross the room and shatter the barrier. Break down every wall that she had erected so meticulously over the years. A comm badge interrupted his thoughts. Thinking it was hers he remained silent.

"Commander I believe that is yours." She turned to look out the viewport. This was harder than she expected.

Seven's voice filled the room. Reflexively Kathryn's spine stiffened. "Commander I was expecting you at the party." After all these years with humans she still did not know the appropriate things to say over an open comm link, Janeway thought. It took every ounce of strength that she had to say the next sentence. She could not turn around or she would die.

"I didn't mean to keep you, Commander."

He was lost. Torn. He was an honorable man so his mind said one thing but his heart and soul said another. For the first time in a long time he felt that funny flutter deep within himself. It was the place that no one had reached, before Kathryn. Not for the first time he wondered how he had gotten himself into this mess. Looking at his Captain he marveled at her. Was this petite woman really the one who beat the Borg, the Kazon, the Hirogen and many others? She suddenly looked frail and vulnerable.

"Captain I need to go. There are some things that I have to take care off." He was being evasive on purpose. It would be better if she never found out about him and Seven until he had resolved things himself. "As for your offer…" She held her breath. Her mind was screaming please don't say no please don't. "If Admiral Paris is correct and pardons are given, the only way I will even consider keeping my commission in Starfleet is if I can continue as your first officer. After serving in that position, any other job would be….. unfulfilling." He hoped that his meaning was not disguised in all the formality that they were swimming in. He willed her with all his heart to turn around. She felt the pull. Their bond remained. But she could not. After what felt like an eternity he turned to leave and said he would see her in the morning.

As he walked down the hall he saw B'Elanna approaching him from the other direction. He was glad to see her. The conversation with Kathryn had rattled him. Anyway, he wanted to spend some time with her before they left. Maybe even talk to her about this situation. For her part he knew she was nervous about meeting Tom's parents. He also knew she wanted to protect Tom if need be. When she got close enough he opened his mouth to speak but he was immediately silenced when she raised her right hand and punched him the nose. He staggered to the ground blood pouring over his face. She looked at him with utter disdain. "You asshole!" She yelled and stepped over him to walk to her destination. As he tried to stand up he saw Seven at the end of the hall. She had witnessed the entire encounter. She saw him on the floor and instinctively called for security. He hit his comm badge and canceled the order. The last thing he needed was for the Captain to get a report about this incident.

Hearing Seven's voice B'Elanna stopped. She turned around and stared at the woman who had become the enemy. B'Elanna stormed toward her with every intention of doing the same to her that she had done to Chakotay. Seeing this Chakotay jumped up and stood between the women. They would tear each other apart if they fought. He was restraining B'Elanna as he begged Seven to leave. Finally Seven complied.

Chakotay dragged his friend into his quarters. He ran to the bathroom for a towel. He returned trying his best to control his anger. He stood by the couch.

"If you think I am going to talk to a pig like you, you are crazy!" she spat as she headed for the door. He quickly called out an order for the computer to lock the door.

"I have a broken nose! The least you can do is explain." He was wiping the blood from his face as he spoke to her. He had an idea of why she was mad but the vehemence of it surprised him.

B'Elanna began to survey the room. She pointed to the table "Is that where you eat dinner with her?" She pointed to the couch, "Is that where you sit and talk about the day?" She walked to the door of his bedroom pushed it open and pointed to the bed. "Is that where you fuck her?" B'Elanna was shaking with rage. She almost feared that she might attack him again. Years ago she may have but she had developed some self control thanks to her friends on Voyager.

He spoke very quietly "No, B'Elanna. She has never been to my quarters. I know you don't like her but isn't this a bit over the top?" He held out the rag full of blood.

As he was speaking she was fiddling with the panel by his door trying to override the lock. When she was almost finished she turned and looked at him. It was almost funny she thought. The big jerk standing there with a towel on his face soaked in blood. Then she thought about the Captain and the humor died. She burrowed her eyes into his face and said, "The Captain knows." She pushed the last button to open the door and left.

The impact of her words knocked him to the floor. Their conversation in her ready room made perfect sense.

He left his dresser and returned to his computer. He went immediately to the message from Indiana. The screen filled with her face. The first thing he noticed was that her hair was a little longer. It had grown just below her shoulders. She was not as thin as she had been. It must be the home cooking he thought. While he had decided to take an assignment she had decided on a six-month leave of absence. She looked good. After staring at her for ten minutes he found the courage to play the message.

"Where are you?"

She stopped and waited like he was going to answer. He chuckled.

The face faded and he exhaled. Before he began to over analyzed every nuance of the message he replied.

He did agonize over the closing. Finally he decided that they had played enough games and signed it, Love Chakotay.