Eclipse

Jacob's Story

Chapter One

I studied my glossy black motorcycle, trying to ignore the throbbing in my head. Was I trying to lose control of myself? The motorcycle only brought back the memories I had been focusing on blocking. I knew I had my hopes way too high. Bella Swan was, after all, a remarkable girl. I was just...Jacob. Plain, boring, car-obsessed. But I knew she hadn't meant to abandon me. It wasn't her fault she was in love with a parasite, although I wasn't too happy that she welcomed him back so easily. If only that filthy leech could've stayed away, she could be in my garage just like any other day. Or by La Push, at the beach. Or—

Stop it! I urged. My body had started to shake. It happened so often now I hardly noticed it. Sam Uley said I was doing exceedingly well on self-control, better than the others and at such an early age.

That bloodsucker just had to take her away, just when things were getting started. Stupid, rotten vampire. I stalked over to the tree outside the backyard and yanked off a branch, breathing hard. It was as easy as punching the air. Why did he have to come back? And all my anger wasn't even directed toward him. What did Bella see in him, anyway? He was a rock, a cold marble statue that had caused her so much pain. The leech had the nerve to come back after all this time, after all the pain he'd put her through, and she'd just accepted him with open arms?

Bella had as much reason to hate the Cullens as the pack. He'd destroyed her, stomped on all her hopes. How could he do such a thing to such a good, kind, caring person? Bella, the thoughtful girl I knew? Or used to, at least. According to the—I forced myself to snarl the name—Cullens, we young werewolves were too "dangerous" for Bella to be around. That couldn't be further from the truth.

At times like this I was proud I was a werewolf. If Bella would let me, I'd protect her from that rock. I wanted to take that bloodsucker on with my bare hands. I'd win, too, no doubt. Filthy vampire.

"Jake?" Billy called from the living room. I walked through the garage, closed it, and opened the door to the inside of the house.

Billy was in his wheelchair, his eyes looking sort of pitiful. My eyes fell on the envelope in his hand. I sighed, trying to hide the sadness that overwhelmed me, and took the letter. Obviously it was from Bella again.

It dawned on me that this was the only line of communication we had anymore. What a horrid fact. If only I could see her again, just hang out in the garage for a few hours with her, like we used to, I'd be set. Not for a while, but content to go about my day. The only person who knew everything about me, all my werewolf secrets, the one I didn't have to hide anything from, snatched away by the one that shouldn't exist, the one whose force went against nature. Goddamn vampire.

She shouldn't keep Billy and Charlie passing us letters like kindergarteners. If she wanted to talk to me, she should just come face-to-face with me. No phones, no letters. A real conversation. She had to miss me, too. At least a little bit. Or had I cherished her presence more than she'd cherished mine? No, I stopped myself. Bella said she loved you,, as a friend. She used to come over every day. She must miss you..

But why doesn't she just come over, escape the bloodsucker for a few hours, and come and talk? I argued. She must not like you as much as you thought. It doesn't mean as much to her as her precious—

"Jake?" Bill interrupted the disturbing battle raging in my head. "You wanna read it?" He examined my face carefully.

"Yeah," I muttered, ripping the note out and tossing the envelope in the trash with one quick motion. I rested my eyes on her scrawl and sighed.

Jake, it said:

I miss you. Can you come over some time? I know the whole vampire-werewolf thing and all, but it's getting to be a bit ridicules, Jake. How can you expect me to choose between you guys? Maybe there's a way around this or something. I'm sorry that you and Edward can't get along. It sucks. I haven't seen you in forever, Jake. Miss you.

Bella

Bella. It hurt to think about all the times we'd had. I should've done more, shown her how I felt. Now it was much too late.

But this couldn't continue. She was convinced that there was a way around this, but there wasn't. No loophole. It was me or him. And she'd already chosen. I couldn't think about it without suffering the sadness and anger, so rather than torture myself in all the things that were going wrong, I walked over to the drawer by the phone and ripped a piece of paper out of the shriveled notebook.

Bella,

I don't know why you're making
Charlie carry notes to Billy like
we're in second grade - if I wanted
to talk to you I would answer the

A part of her letter stuck out at me: How can you expect me to choose between you guys? She couldn't have it two ways--either she was with him, or with me. No in-between. Bella just didn't understand how serious this situation was. Like we could be friends, that leech and me. Ha! I'd die before that happened.

You made the choice here, okay?
You can't have it both ways when

No, Jacob, stop blaming everything on her. It's the bloodsucker's doing, too.

What part of 'mortal enemies' is too
complicated for you to

Look, I know I'm being a jerk, but
there's just no way around

We can't be friends when you're
spending all your time with a bunch of

She couldn't keep writing, it was becoming hard to keep a straight face as I read the her letters. I spent enough time thinking about her as it was, wallowing in my misery.

It just makes it worse when I
think about you too much, so don't
write anymore

Yeah, I miss you, too. A lot.
Doesn't change anything. Sorry.

Jacob

The pen I was writing with was quivering as I crossed out each sentence before finally settling on the best one. My heart was thumping as I quivered with anger. Without realizing it, my fingers crushed the pen and ink splattered on the side of the letter. I was too angry to care. Filthy bloodsucker! Bella's note only made me angrier. He'd taken her away, away from the right world, away from me. I couldn't stay in the house. I handed the note to Billy, nodded vaguely, and stormed out of the house, letting Jacob Black disappear.